12 phrases manipulative people use to gain your trust

I trust people by default when I first meet them. That’s because I don’t believe people are inherently bad or want to hurt others as the media would like us to believe. 

But am I right? Should I simply believe others until they prove me wrong? Am I making my life easier or harder with that?

I think I’ll just continue with my policy of trusting others, but that’s only because I know how manipulators work and what tactics they use to gain our trust and manipulate us into doing what they want. 

So, let’s take a closer look and see some of the phrases manipulative people use to gain trust. 

1) “I totally understand how you feel” 

They use this phrase to create a sense of empathy, making you believe they deeply understand your emotions, even if they don’t.

They want you to trust them because they feel you. They’ve got your back. 

Of course, that couldn’t be further away from the truth, and they’re only using the situation to make themselves seem trustworthy and like they’re your true friend. 

The thing about manipulators is that you never know what trick they’ve got up their sleeves and what they’ll do with the information you just shared with them. 

2) “You can count on me; I’ve got your back”

A manipulator will promise unwavering support to build trust with you. At first, their actions will align with their words, and they’ll be all in, seemingly ready to support you through thick and thin.

But then, all of a sudden, they’ll have your back all right. In fact, they’ll have it so much that they’ll stab you in the back!

This sudden betrayal can be shocking because, in your mind, they were the one person you could trust. 

But it’s a sneaky maneuver meant to catch you off guard, leaving you wondering what went wrong. 

So, when someone says they’ve got your back, keep your eyes open, and make sure their actions speak louder than their promises.

3) “You can tell me anything; I won’t judge you”

Manipulators will use “You can tell me anything; I won’t judge you” to create a false sense of safety, encouraging you to share personal information that they can later exploit. 

Again, they’re doing everything they can to be your friend and confidant until you trust them 100%.

Once they get all the information they need from you about yourself and also about other people, they will pounce like a cobra, and you’ll feel like a little mouse trying to make sense of what just happened. 

That’s why you always need to be cautious and trust your instincts because you’ll also hear this from them:

4) “I would never do anything to hurt you” 

This phrase is meant to assure you of their intentions. At first, it sounds like they’re on your team, right? 

However, don’t be too quick to take that at face value. Manipulators are masters at concealing their true motives. 

While they’re pledging never to hurt you, their actions unfold in a way that says otherwise.

So, when someone insists they would never do anything to hurt you, it’s a red flag. Keep your guard up, pay attention to their actions, and make sure their promises aren’t just a cover for something else. 

After all, trust is a two-way street.

5) “We’re like family; you can trust me”

By creating a sense of closeness, they aim to make you feel secure. They’re playing the familiarity card to build trust.

Sure, they’re selling you the idea that you’re practically part of the clan, but don’t let the sentimental pitch fool you. 

In the background, they’re probably orchestrating things that aren’t in your best interest.

Just because they’re claiming a familial connection doesn’t mean automatic trust. Estimate their actions, make sure they’re consistent with the family narrative they’re spinning, and remember that real trust is earned, not just declared.

6) “Let me take care of everything for you” 

When someone’s offering shortcuts, initially, it might seem like a dream come true but beware of the hidden agenda. 

They may offer help, aiming to gain control over situations and decisions, potentially limiting your independence in the future.

What do I mean by that?

They’re offering a hand now, but down the road, they might use that helpfulness to manipulate or influence you, restricting your freedom to make choices on your own.

For example, they suggest managing your finances to help you save money and make wise investments.

Over time, they use their involvement to dictate your spending, control your financial decisions, and limit your ability to make independent choices about your money.

7) “I’ve never met someone as special as you before” 

On the surface, it seems like they’re showering you with praise, making you feel unique and one-of-a-kind. 

However, here’s the catch: manipulators often use this kind of flattery to create a sense of dependency. 

By making you feel exceptional, they’re setting the stage for you to rely on their validation and approval.

8) “I’m just looking out for your best interests” 

When someone says, “I’m just looking out for your best interests,” sometimes they’re just playing the role of the caring advisor.

When, in fact, they’re pulling all the strings from the back of the room, just like Littlefinger from The Game of Thrones. 

That’s why you need to question their advice and their intentions. Only you know what’s best for you, and don’t let a manipulator tell you otherwise.

Of course, don’t mix up wholehearted advice from your friends and family as manipulation if there are no other signs they might be manipulating you.

9) “You and I are on the same wavelength”

Another way a manipulator might try to get you to trust them is to act as if you’re on the same wavelength.

By suggesting a strong connection, they try to make you more receptive to their influence, enabling a sense of unity that isn’t genuine.

Manipulators want to get your trust so they can manipulate you further down the line. You see, they love playing the long game. They know that the actions they make now will pay back double in the future.

That’s why it’s often so hard to see through them. They typically don’t make their move straightaway. They’re cunning that way.

10) “I would never lie to you”

On the surface, they’re pledging honesty and transparency, so you think they’re someone you can rely on.

But in reality, it’s just a promise to camouflage their deceit. Once they get you to trust them, and you start spilling the beans about everything and everyone, they’ll have all the information they need.

Even if you remind them how they promised not to lie to you, they’ll just deny it and gaslight you. 

11) “You’re the only one who gets me”

By using this phrase, the manipulator is trying to make you feel special. They make it seem like there’s this unique bond between the two of you, and you’re the only one who understands them, and vice versa.

But again, they’re just going to use that closeness to their own advantage. However, healthy relationships thrive on mutual understanding and not one-sided dependence.

So, make sure you’re aware of that and trust your instincts when it comes to sweet talk like this one.

12) “I’m not like other people; I’m here for you”

And lastly, “I’m not like other people; I’m here for you” is the last phrase on our list. Of course, manipulative people use many, many others, but I think you get the picture. 

With this one, they want to stand out as unique or more caring than others, hoping to create dependence on their support.

This phrase is especially powerful when they know you just broke up with someone or someone hurt you. 

And if they then also hurt you, which, as we know, is very likely, you’ll never be able to trust anyone else, right?

Final thoughts

I’ll still go through life trusting people, even strangers, but only because I know what some people are capable of and what techniques they use to manipulate them. 

I just hope that articles like this one help you understand the human psyche so you can reevaluate some things others are saying to you.

By educating yourself, you’re more equipped to deal with manipulators and their cunning ways.