7 phrases manipulative people use to instantly connect with others

Some individuals have a knack for manipulation, using clever tactics to establish an instant connection.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re being controlled or influenced by someone, but you can’t quite put your finger on how, it could be that they’re using certain phrases or language patterns that lead you to behave in a way that suits their agenda.

In this article, we’ll delve into 7 phrases that manipulative people typically use to create an immediate connection with others.

Let’s dive into it.

1) “I’m only saying this for your own good”

This phrase is a classic in the manipulator’s playbook.

It’s often used as a preamble to some unsolicited advice, criticism, or negative comment. The manipulator frames their words as though they are acting out of concern for your well-being.

You might hear this and think, “Well, they’re just looking out for me.” But don’t be fooled.

This phrase is designed to make you question yourself and your decisions.

It plants the seed of doubt, allowing them to steer you in their desired direction.

The reality is that it’s not about your good at all. It’s about their control over you.

Recognizing this phrase for what it is can help us maintain our confidence and autonomy, even when faced with such manipulative tactics.

2) “You’re overreacting”

Here’s one that I’ve personally experienced.

I had a friend who would often dismiss my feelings or concerns by telling me that I was overreacting. At first, I thought maybe she was right.

I’d find myself questioning my emotions, wondering if I was indeed making a mountain out of a molehill.

But over time, I realized that her words were not meant to comfort or help me see things clearly.

Instead, this phrase was her way of invalidating my feelings and maintaining control in our relationship.

It’s a subtle and effective manipulation technique. It creates self-doubt and leaves you feeling guilty for expressing your emotions.

3) “Don’t you trust me?”

This one hits close to home.

I remember an old acquaintance who had a habit of using this phrase whenever I questioned his actions or motives.

“Hey, why didn’t you tell me about the change in plans?” I’d ask, only to be countered with, “Don’t you trust me?”

It’s a phrase that carries an emotional punch. It’s designed to make you feel guilty for questioning them, and it often works.

You start second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re being paranoid or overly suspicious.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Trust is earned, not demanded.

4) “No one else has a problem with it”

This is a phrase that manipulative people often use to make you feel isolated and wrong.

The intention is to make you question your own perspective and judgment.

It’s as if they’re saying, “Everyone else is fine with this, why aren’t you?” This can lead you to believe that there’s something wrong with you, rather than with the situation at hand.

The thing is, just because others seem okay with something, doesn’t mean you have to be.

Your feelings and viewpoints are valid. Don’t let anyone manipulate you into thinking otherwise.

5) “I don’t want to argue”

A clever diversion tactic.

Manipulative people often use it to evade responsibility or avoid addressing your concerns.

In fact, manipulative individuals often employ conflict avoidance as a means to control their relationships.

They might say “I don’t want to argue” and abruptly end the conversation, leaving you feeling unheard and your issues unresolved.

Being aware of this tactic can help you stand your ground and insist on open, honest communication.

6) “It was just a joke”

I remember feeling hurt and confused by a comment someone made, only for them to brush it off as “just a joke”.

When you express your discomfort, they shift the blame onto you, implying that you’re too sensitive or lack a sense of humor.

This tactic left me questioning my own reactions. But with time, I recognized it for what it was – a form of manipulation.

It’s crucial to remember that humor should never be at the expense of someone’s feelings, and if someone makes you uncomfortable, it’s not ‘just a joke’.

7) “If you really cared about me, you’d…”

This might be the most potent manipulative phrase of them all.

It’s a coercive tactic designed to make you feel guilty and obliged to act in a certain way.

The underlying message is that your love or care for them is conditional upon your compliance.

But here’s the truth – real love and care are not about manipulation or control. They’re about respect, understanding, and mutual consent.

If someone tries to use your emotions against you, that’s not care. That’s manipulation.

Final thoughts

Recognizing manipulation is the first step to protect yourself from it.

Many of us have been on the receiving end of such manipulative tactics at some point in our lives.

Consider this – do the words or actions of others make you feel valued, respected, and heard? Or do they leave you feeling confused, invalidated, or manipulated?

Your experiences and feelings are valid. Trust your intuition when something doesn’t feel right.

Becoming aware of these manipulative phrases allows us to engage in healthier relationships. We can establish clear boundaries and communicate our needs with confidence.

It’s a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. But with each step, we move closer towards authenticity, respect, and mutual understanding.

In the words of Maya Angelou, “When we know better, we do better.” Now that we know, let’s do better.