Some everyday behaviors can hold you back because they create habits and ways of thinking that stop you from moving forward.
Take negative self-talk, for example. When you’re constantly telling yourself you’re not good enough, it’s hard to feel confident and take chances.
These types of behaviors often result from deep-seated fears or beliefs that prevent you from taking risks or believing in yourself.
So, let’s find out what everyday behaviors hold you back in life, according to psychologists.
1) Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome is a sneaky little voice in your head that tells you that you’re not as smart, capable, or competent as other people think you are.
Even if you’ve achieved great success or recognition, you still feel like a fraud, like you don’t belong, and that any moment now, someone is going to figure it out and expose you.
It’s that constant fear of being unmasked as an imposter.
Psychologists have found that Imposter Syndrome can seriously hold you back in life because you’re putting a lid on your potential and keeping yourself from taking risks or pursuing opportunities.
2) Escapism
When you use distractions or activities to avoid dealing with your problems, emotions, or responsibilities, it might feel good in the moment, but escapism can actually hold you back in life.
Instead of facing your problems head-on and finding constructive solutions, escapism allows you to sweep them under the rug temporarily.
However, this only prolongs the issue and prevents you from making progress in resolving it.
I did this a lot in my early twenties (20 years ago 🤯). I didn’t have a good job and used every excuse under the Sun to not spend time sprucing up my CV and getting out there.
I’d spend hours playing video games to distract myself from real-life issues.
3) Negative self-talk
This is when you constantly tell yourself things like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do it.” You continually put yourself down, doubt your abilities, or criticize every little thing you do.
While it might seem harmless, negative self-talk can seriously hold you back in life. You start to doubt your abilities and value as a person, which can impact every aspect of your life, from relationships to career aspirations.
Psychology suggests that negative self-talk often stems from underlying insecurities, past experiences, or learned patterns of thinking.
However, it’s not set in stone, and you can learn to challenge and reframe those negative thoughts.
4) Procrastination
There isn’t a single person alive who hasn’t procrastinated at least once in their life. But if it becomes a habit – something you regularly do – that’s when it becomes an issue and a roadblock on your road to success.
When you procrastinate, you end up cramming everything into the last minute, which can be super stressful.
The longer you put something off, the harder it can be to get started as well. It’s a cycle where the more you procrastinate, the less motivated you feel, and the harder it is to break free.
And that leads to regret, and you kick yourself for not starting earlier. You’re looking back and wishing you had just gotten it over with instead of putting it off.
5) Limiting beliefs
As with most behaviors on this list, limiting beliefs seem harmless at first, but they can seriously mess with your life in all sorts of ways.
These are deeply held convictions about yourself or the world that hold you back. For example, believing you’re not smart enough to succeed or that you don’t deserve happiness.
It’s similar to negative self-talk. But while negative self-talk focuses more on specific thoughts or statements you make about yourself in the present moment (“I’m not good enough,” “I can’t do it”), limiting beliefs are broader.
They’re deeply ingrained beliefs about yourself or the world that shape how you perceive and interact with the world (“I’ll never succeed,” “I’m not capable of achieving my dreams”).
6) Fixed mindset
Similarly, having a fixed mindset means you believe that your abilities and intelligence are set in stone and can’t be improved.
When you believe that your abilities are fixed, you’re less likely to take on new challenges because you’re afraid of failing.
You’re also not open to learning or growing because you think you’ve reached your limit. It’s like thinking, “This is as good as it gets,” instead of striving for improvement.
And because you see failure as a reflection of your innate abilities, you’re more likely to give up at the first sign of difficulty.
7) Dependency
Are you always looking to someone else to take the lead or fix things instead of trusting yourself to handle them?
This behavior can hold you back in life in more ways than one.
Depending on others for everything can prevent you from developing the skills and confidence you need to stand on your own two feet.
It’s like never learning how to ride a bike because you always have someone to hold onto.
Breaking free from dependency involves learning to trust yourself, building your self-confidence, and developing the skills you need to navigate life’s challenges independently.
8) People-pleasing
If you’re anything like me, you prioritize making others happy over your own needs and desires. You say yes to everything, even if it means sacrificing your own well-being or values.
Over time, all that self-sacrifice can build up and turn into resentment. You’re feeling angry or bitter towards others because you’ve been putting their needs ahead of your own for so long.
Also, when you’re constantly trying to please others, it’s easy to lose sight of who you really are and what you truly want.
You’re living your life according to everyone else’s expectations instead of following your own heart.
9) Self-sabotage
With self-sabotage, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. You’re doing things that you know will mess things up for you, even though you really want to succeed.
Believe it or not, some people are afraid of success. They worry about the changes that success might bring or feel like they don’t deserve it.
So, they end up doing things to sabotage their own chances of success, like procrastinating or making excuses.
Sometimes, self-sabotage comes from repeating the same negative patterns or behaviors over and over again, even when you know they’re not helping you.
You’re stuck in a rut and don’t know how to break free.
10) Catastrophizing
Some people take a small problem and blow it way out of proportion, imagining the absolute worst-case scenario.
My wife does this all the time. That’s why I regularly try to put things into perspective for her if I see things have gotten out of hand.
I’m doing my best not to mansplain things to her, but at times, I really think it’s for the best because she gets really anxious about things that she doesn’t have any control over.
For example, let’s say she has a minor disagreement with a friend. Instead of thinking, “Okay, we’ll talk it out, and everything will be fine,” she starts imagining that her friendship is over, they hate her, and they’ll never speak to her again.
When you’re constantly imagining the worst, you’re living in a constant state of panic. And sometimes, catastrophizing can actually make the worst-case scenario come true.
11) Lack of resilience
When you don’t have grit, setbacks feel like the end of the road instead of just a bump in the journey.
Instead of learning from your mistakes and moving forward, you stay on them forever, feeling defeated and hopeless.
But overcoming challenges builds confidence and resilience. Without it, you struggle to believe in yourself and your abilities.
By developing resilience, you create a mindset that sees setbacks as temporary opportunities for development and change instead of unconquerable obstacles.
Final thoughts
You need to recognize that these behaviors, whether it’s negative self-talk, procrastination, limiting beliefs, or any of the others, aren’t set in stone.
They’re patterns of thinking and acting that we’ve learned over time, but they can be changed with effort and practice.
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