We’re all looking for dependable people, whether we’re making friends or looking for a life partner.
That’s because when we can depend upon someone, we know that they’ll always be there for us. We can start to build them into our life because they provide a solid foundation.
But how can we tell whether someone’s dependable? And in particular, what are the signs of a dependable man, and do they differ from what we seek in dependable women?
Let’s take a look.
1) Consistency
Men who are consistent tend to be consistently dependable, which means that you can depend upon them at any time and in any situation.
In other words, they’re not the kind of men that you can trust in some situations but not in others. They’re very different to the kind of people who you can trust to give you a lift but who will always make excuses when you want them to meet your family.
Consistency also makes for predictability. Some people find this boring, but I find that those people tend not to be ready for a serious relationship.
If your man is consistent and predictable, he’s marriage material. And because he’s consistent, you can depend upon him to show up at the ceremony.
2) Trustworthiness
Trustworthiness is the name of the game, and in many ways, we can think of trustworthiness as being synonymous with dependability.
When someone’s trustworthy, we can tell them our secrets without worrying that they’ll repeat them. We also know that if they make a promise to us or agree to go somewhere, they’ll do so. We don’t have to second guess whether they’ll show up or not.
Without this trustworthiness, it almost doesn’t matter whether they display any of the other signs. We need them to be trustworthy so that we can trust that they’ll be consistent, responsible and everything else.
And we should bear in mind that once it’s lost, trust is almost impossible to regain.
3) Responsibility
Responsible people tend to be both consistent and trustworthy because they have to be. They have a responsibility to be so.
When I think about responsible people, I think about parents who have a responsibility to their children or even people who have pets and who have a responsibility to look after them.
But we also all have responsibilities towards ourselves. We’re responsible for the bodies we live in and the way that we treat other people.
Because of that, if you’re trying to figure out whether a man is truly dependable, it can make sense to take a look at how they treat those responsibilities.
4) Accountability
Accountability is responsibility’s sibling, and the idea here is that truly dependable men need to hold themselves accountable.
In other words, if they have a responsibility to take care of a child, they need to hold themselves accountable for doing so. They need to make it a priority and they need to instigate some sort of punishment if they’re unable to do so.
For example, if a man is supposed to provide financial support for a child but they spend all of their money going out for drinks and there’s nothing left for the kid, they’re blowing that responsibility.
And if they don’t make a plan to fix that and to change their ways, they’re also not holding themselves accountable.
5) Honesty
This one should go without saying, but for someone to be dependable, they need to be honest.
Otherwise, how are you supposed to depend on them? Dependability is hard to come by when nobody trusts that you’re telling the truth.
Honesty is especially important when you’re looking for someone to spend your life with, because as soon as honesty is gone from a relationship, that relationship is doomed to failure.
The good news is that if you spend a lot of time with someone, it becomes easy to tell whether they’re honest. Lies have a habit of eventually becoming self-evident.
6) Reliability
When someone’s reliable, you know you can ask them for help and they’ll be able to give it.
This often goes above and beyond them helping if you need someone to pick up the kids from school. Truly reliable men tend to be versatile and to have the ability to help out with a little bit of everything.
For example, they’ll have good DIY skills and will know how to change a tire. They’re often generalists, living up to that idea of being a jack of all trades and a master of none.
When that’s the case, you can rely on them to help you out whenever you need it. Just tell them what the problem is and they’ll be there for you.
7) Adaptability
This one builds on the ideas that we just talked about when it comes to being a jack of all trades, because a truly dependable man will be able to turn his hand to anything.
But adaptability goes further than that, too. For example, a truly dependable man will be adaptable when it comes to the way that you live your lives. If you get together when you’re young, they’ll adapt as you get older and start to build a family.
Like honesty, adaptability is something that can best be judged by watching someone and seeing how they act. Like they say, actions speak louder than words.
And so if you want to see whether a man is truly dependable, watch and wait. Life throws out enough curveballs that you’ll soon see whether they’re adaptable or not.
8) Loyalty
We all value loyalty, and part of the reason for that is because it shows that someone is dependable.
That’s why we seek loyalty in our friends, as well as in our romantic partners. It’s also why we pride ourselves on our own loyalty, because we like to think of ourselves as dependable too.
Loyalty is a hot commodity and one that can be hard to find. In fact, you shouldn’t be surprised if you run into a few false starts along the way before you find a loyal man who you can truly depend upon.
And unfortunately, there aren’t any shortcuts that you can take.
9) Patience
They say that patience is a virtue. So is dependability.
People who are patient can usually be depended upon because they have solid control over their emotions and are unlikely to fly off the handle or to act unpredictably. Like that first point, they’re consistently patient.
Patient people also tend to be good problem solvers, perhaps because it takes a lot of time and patience to solve problems in the first place. It’s like when you’re learning a new skill. You don’t get good at it overnight.
All of this means that when you need a helping hand and you want to call someone you can depend on, someone who’s patient is generally a good bet.
Conclusion
Now that you know some of the signs to look out for when you’re looking for a truly dependable man, you’re ready to put all of these lessons into practice.
Keep these factors in mind if you’re dating and looking for someone to spend your life with, and don’t be afraid to cut people off if they’re not able to demonstrate at least six or seven of these green flags.
And if you find someone who ticks every single one of these boxes, congratulations. You might just have found the man you’re going to spend your life with. Congratulations!
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