Wise individuals are a rare breed.
They come in all ages and from all walks of life, each unique and different.
But those who have reached a level of deeper wisdom have certain traits in common.
Their wisdom shines through in the following distinctive ways:
1) Generosity
Generosity is a marker of deep wisdom, because it indicates a person who has overcome a purely “me-first” attitude.
From its earliest tribal roots, human survival relied greatly on cooperation, not just competition.
Giving of time and energy is a way to build more well-being and quality of life, and research backs this up.
In a 2018 white paper prepared for the John Templeton Foundation by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, the importance of generosity is emphasized:
“Generosity appears to have especially strong associations with psychological health and well-being. For example, a meta-analysis of 37 studies of older adults found that those who volunteered reported greater quality of life;
“Another study found that frequent helpers reported feeling greater vitality and self-esteem (but only if they chose to help of their own accord).”
2) Adaptability
The only constant in life is change.
Those who are wise have internalized this and are willing and able to adapt to what comes.
They do their best to remain flexible in pursuit of their goals:
The means to getting to their goal can be negotiated, even if the end is something they won’t waver on.
Being adaptable and remaining largely unsurprised by change and tumult is the sign of a wise person.
3) Decisiveness
When the time comes to make a decision, a wise person is able to do so.
They are decisive and don’t get lost in over-analysis.
The image we may have of a Confucious or Lao Tzu figure who remains apart from the world and lives a monastic life isn’t necessarily what to look for in a wise person.
The wise person is the one who has found a real way to apply his or her insights and knowledge to daily life:
Nowhere is this more evident than in their ability to make decisions and commit to them strongly and consistently.
4) Having limits
As adaptable and decisive as they may be, truly wise people have limits.
They respect themselves and are willing to establish limits, including on things they enjoy.
They find a way to balance friendship and professional collaboration, family and work, the spiritual and the practical.
“Regardless of how much you enjoy something, it will take its toll if you take on too much of it,” explains Dr. Christopher Dwyer, Ph.D.
“Burnout is a real risk in such scenarios, and it can happen to anyone, regardless of how much they like what they do.”
This ability to know when they’re nearing burnout and find balance points to the next trait of wise people.
5) Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the key ingredient that every wise and successful person has.
They want to know more about themselves and develop the maturity and emotional intelligence to look at themselves objectively.
They are able to look at their faults and talents, their failings and strengths.
They become aware of how they treat others and how they treat themselves, of the triumphs and tragedies that have made them who they are, and how that affects the path forward.
As psychosocial rehabilitation specialist Kendra Cherry, MS, explains:
“Self-awareness and emotional intelligence (EQ) go hand in hand.
“EQ refers to a person’s ability to perceive their own emotions as well as the emotions of other people. Someone with a high EQ is able to effectively respond to emotions with empathy and compassion.”
6) Self-honesty no matter what
This ties into the previous point about self-awareness:
Those who are deeply wise are radically honest with others, but especially with themselves.
They don’t lie to themselves or say they’re happy whe they’re not:
They face how they truly feel.
They are honest about where they have messed up, too. They are honest about what they know and what they don’t know.
“Being honest with ourselves is a crucial aspect of personal growth and self-awareness,” notes Ilyass Arabaine.
“It requires us to take a deep look at our thoughts, beliefs, and actions, and to acknowledge both the good and the bad.”
7) Patience
Patience is a key trait of a wise person.
Many things in life take time and don’t happen on schedule:
Wise people accept this and embrace the indeterminate nature of many things in life.
Even love and relationships often don’t happen when we want them to (or even need them to).
Patience is the one quality we can cultivate even during these frustrating experiences, and wise people cultivate it in droves.
8) Emotional control
Emotional self-control is another important trait of a wise person.
He or she is able to feel strongly without taking it out on others or feeling the need to immediately express it.
They are in charge, not their emotions.
And even though they may be very sensitive and feel deeply, they are not tossed to and fro by their emotions in a way that makes them lose control.
They have cultivated this ability through wisdom.
9) Tolerating ambiguity
Wise people are able to tolerate ambiguity.
In other words they can accept that there aren’t always clear answers or definitions.
They are able to tolerate suspense or lack of clarity on an issue, relationship or situation – at least for the short-term.
They know that not everything has an answer right away, and that they don’t always need to make up their mind speedily or reach conclusions.
Dr. Eric Albertini, Ph.D. phrases it thus:
“Tolerance of Ambiguity (TOA) refers to the extent to which individuals are naturally comfortable with ambiguous or uncertain situations and have an ability to operate effectively in an uncertain environment by considering a range of creative solutions or options.”
This also ties directly into the next point:
10) Accepting complexity
Wise individuals accept that reality and life is complex.
They don’t always feel the need to summarize or conclude about what something means. They allow mysteries to remain mysteries.
Despite traversing countless spiritual traditions, religious faiths and ideas, they don’t feel a need to always know everything.
They are able to “live into the question” and allow an unresolved issue or dilemma provoke more thought and learning instead of always having an easy answer.
11) Thinking long-term
Long-term thinking is another marker of the wise individual.
Many of us are wired to crave short term pleasure and rewards. In my case I’ve always had trouble turning down immediate gratification.
But the wise person is able to delay immediate pleasure or payoff in favor of a long-term plan or vision.
This helps them in business and their endeavors, but it also greatly aids them in relationships and areas where patience and a long-term interest carry the day and lead to far more fulfilling connections.
12) Avoiding snap judgments
Snap judgments don’t have a place in the wise person’s repertoire.
They do judge, but they don’t do so hastily, and they avoid doing so irrevocably.
They understand that perceptions change and that the judgment of a person or situation can shift.
They avoid doing so rapidly or letting their own emotions guide their moral judgments of others.
To the extent possible they prioritize observing over judging.
13) Seeking collaboration and cooperation
As noted earlier, generosity is a marker of a wise person.
This trait shows an understanding of the importance of collaboration, which has been a cornerstone of the secret history of humanity since the beginning.
People didn’t get to where they are in society just by fighting or competing, although this was certainly a common denominator.
They also got to this level of history by collaborating, cooperating and sharing ideas.
The wise person understands this and seeks to continue it, looking for win-win situations wherever possible.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the wisest of them all?
The final and most crucial marker of a truly wise person is that they aren’t run by their ego.
They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they’re aware of their talents:
But they don’t feel they are the “best” or that they are necessarily wiser than others.
They realize that their wisdom is something they’ve been blessed with, while others have been blessed by other gifts or talents that they don’t have.
The “wisest” person doesn’t cling to wisdom as an accomplishment or credential, but as a tool and gift to be used in real life.
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