The hidden costs of ‘high vibrations’: Is chasing positivity making you sick?

In today’s spiritual and wellness circles, there’s an ever-present mantra: “Keep your vibrations high.”

This phrase is touted as the key to spiritual success, happiness, and health.

Everywhere you look, from Instagram influencers to self-help gurus, we’re told that maintaining a state of perpetual positivity is the ultimate goal. Low vibes are out; high vibes are in.

But beneath the glossy surface of this advice lies a hidden danger—a subtle but powerful force that may be doing more harm than good.

In our relentless pursuit of positivity, many of us are unwittingly setting ourselves up for emotional, mental, and even physical burnout.

High-vibe culture pushes us to bypass real feelings, deny our darker emotions, and mask our true selves behind a facade of relentless optimism.

This article delves into the hidden costs of chasing high vibrations, exploring how the pressure to be constantly positive might be making us sicker, not healthier.

The myth of high vibrations: A glossy illusion

“High vibes only” has become the rallying cry of modern spirituality, a shorthand for what we’re supposed to aspire to every day.

High vibrations are typically associated with joy, love, peace, and gratitude—emotions that are, without question, beautiful and desirable.

The problem arises when these emotions become a non-negotiable standard, a benchmark against which all other feelings are measured and found lacking.

The myth of high vibrations implies that anything less than happiness is a failure of spiritual practice, a sign that you’re not enlightened or evolved enough.

Feeling angry? That’s low vibration.

Experiencing grief? You must not be aligned.

Feeling anxious? You need to raise your frequency.

The message is clear: if you’re not in a state of joy, you’re doing something wrong.

This mindset turns spirituality into a performance, where the goal is not to heal or grow but to maintain the appearance of having it all together.

We end up chasing positivity like it’s the only emotion worth feeling, and in doing so, we disconnect from the full spectrum of our human experience.

Spiritual bypassing: When positivity becomes a prison

One of the most insidious effects of high-vibration culture is the phenomenon known as spiritual bypassing.

Coined by psychologist John Welwood, spiritual bypassing refers to the tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.

In other words, it’s when we use spirituality to bypass the messy, painful, and necessary work of being human.

Spiritual bypassing often manifests as an obsession with positivity. It’s the refusal to engage with anything that feels uncomfortable or negative.

We see it when people respond to deep personal pain with dismissive platitudes like “everything happens for a reason” or “just think positive.” It’s the insistence on seeing everything through rose-colored glasses, even when reality is screaming otherwise.

The danger here is that by avoiding our darker emotions, we end up suppressing them. Anger, sadness, fear, and grief don’t just go away because we ignore them; they fester beneath the surface, wreaking havoc on our mental and physical health.

Over time, this suppression can lead to anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and even physical illnesses. The body keeps the score, as they say, and when we deny our true feelings, those emotions find a way to express themselves, often in destructive ways.

The physiology of forced positivity: Stressing out the body

When we constantly pressure ourselves to be positive, we’re not just playing mind games—we’re putting real, measurable stress on our bodies.

Forced positivity activates the body’s stress response, also known as the “fight-or-flight” response. When you’re suppressing negative emotions and forcing a cheerful demeanor, your body interprets this as a form of internal conflict. The sympathetic nervous system kicks in, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

Over time, chronic activation of the stress response can lead to a host of physical problems: high blood pressure, heart disease, weakened immune function, digestive issues, and more.

The irony is that the very practices meant to “raise your vibration” and promote health can actually contribute to physical decline when they involve repressing real emotions.

Psychologists have found that people who habitually suppress negative emotions are at a higher risk for mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression. They are also more likely to suffer from chronic pain, insomnia, and autoimmune conditions.

The act of forcing positivity becomes a form of self-betrayal, where we gaslight ourselves into believing we’re fine when we’re not.

Emotional denial and the cult of toxic positivity

Toxic positivity is a term that perfectly encapsulates the darker side of high-vibration culture. It’s the unrelenting pressure to only display positive emotions and to dismiss anything that doesn’t fit the mold.

This mindset can be found everywhere—from well-meaning friends who tell you to “just stay positive” during a crisis, to social media influencers whose curated feeds make it seem like life is a never-ending parade of bliss.

The real harm of toxic positivity is that it shames us for our authentic emotional experiences. It tells us that our pain, anger, and sadness are not valid, that they are flaws that need to be fixed rather than signals that something in our lives needs attention.

This shaming is particularly damaging because it isolates us in our struggles. When everyone around us seems to be thriving on high vibes, we feel pressure to conform, hiding our true feelings to fit in.

The result is a kind of emotional isolation where, even in the company of others, we feel deeply alone. We become disconnected not only from others but from ourselves.

We lose the ability to process our emotions in a healthy way, instead stuffing them down in the name of positivity. This not only stifles personal growth but can also lead to emotional burnout—a state of mental and physical exhaustion from constantly managing your outward persona.

The shadow self: Embracing the dark for true healing

Carl Jung famously said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”

In our rush to chase high vibrations, we often forget that true healing comes not from running from our shadows but from confronting them. The shadow self—the parts of us we find unacceptable or undesirable—holds the key to our deepest transformation.

The shadow contains our suppressed anger, our hidden grief, our unspoken fears, and our unhealed wounds. These aren’t low vibrations to be banished but vital parts of who we are that need to be integrated.

When we shine light on our shadow, we gain access to a fuller, more authentic version of ourselves. We stop being divided between our public persona and our private pain. We become whole.

Engaging with the shadow doesn’t mean wallowing in negativity; it means acknowledging all parts of yourself with compassion. It’s about holding space for the complexity of your emotions rather than slapping a smile on your face and pretending everything is fine.

When we embrace the dark alongside the light, we make room for genuine healing, resilience, and self-acceptance.

How high-vibration culture fuels spiritual competition

One of the lesser-discussed effects of high-vibration culture is how it fosters spiritual competition.

In spaces where high vibes are the ultimate currency, there’s an unspoken hierarchy—those who maintain a state of perpetual positivity are seen as more evolved, more spiritual, more in tune with the universe.

This creates a toxic environment where people feel pressured to “out-vibe” each other, leading to inauthenticity and performative spirituality.

Spiritual competition reduces deep, personal experiences to a checklist of high-vibration achievements: How often do you meditate? Have you been to a sacred plant medicine retreat? Are you manifesting your desires?

It’s an exhausting game where the goalposts are constantly shifting, and no matter how much you do, it never feels like enough.

This competitive mindset distracts us from the true purpose of spiritual practice, which is to connect with ourselves and the world around us in an authentic way. Spirituality should be a personal journey, not a race.

But in the world of high vibrations, it’s easy to get lost in the pursuit of external validation, measuring your worth by how positive you appear rather than how deeply you are connected to your own truth.

Finding balance:Embracing the full spectrum of being

So, how do we break free from the tyranny of high vibrations? The answer isn’t to reject positivity altogether but to embrace the full spectrum of our emotional experience. Here are some ways to find a healthier balance:

1) Acknowledge all emotions:

Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment. Anger, sadness, and fear are not enemies; they are messengers. Listen to what they’re telling you about your needs, boundaries, and unhealed wounds.

2) Practice authenticity:

Be honest with yourself and others about how you’re feeling. It’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to hide behind a mask of positivity to be accepted or loved.

3) Set boundaries with toxic positivity:

Recognize when others are pushing their positivity agenda onto you. It’s okay to distance yourself from those who make you feel ashamed of your feelings or who dismiss your pain.

4) Engage in shadow work:

Explore the parts of yourself that you’ve been avoiding. Journaling, therapy, or working with a coach can help you delve into your shadow self and integrate these aspects into your whole being.

5) Reframe high vibrations:

Instead of seeing high vibrations as a constant state of joy, view them as moments of connection, authenticity, and self-awareness. High vibes don’t mean being happy all the time; they mean being true to yourself.

6) Celebrate the messy middle:

Life isn’t all light or dark—it’s a blend of both. Celebrate the messy middle, the in-between moments where growth and transformation happen. Embrace the uncertainty and let it teach you.

Conclusion: True healing beyond the vibes

High vibrations have their place, but they are not the end-all and be-all of spiritual growth.

True healing requires a willingness to face all of life, not just the pretty parts. It’s about honoring every emotion, every experience, and every messy, unfiltered moment.

Spirituality isn’t about ascending to a perpetual state of bliss; it’s about grounding ourselves in the reality of our humanity.

So the next time you’re told to “raise your vibration,” pause and check in with yourself.

Are you chasing positivity because it feels genuine, or are you using it to escape the discomfort of being fully alive?

Real growth happens not when we force ourselves into a narrow band of “acceptable” emotions but when we embrace the whole, beautiful, chaotic spectrum of what it means to be human.