Life can sometimes feel like an impenetrable maze.
You wander through the twists and turns looking for some clarity, but all you find are more dead-ends and confusing roundabouts.
For many of us the confusion is too much and we end up finding a park bench in the middle of the maze and sitting down on it, embracing a steady routine and giving up on our dreams of breaking free.
I call this the comfort zone. Everything is comfortable and easy, but you’re not truly challenging yourself or moving forward in any real way.
Here are the top signs that you’re stuck in your comfort zone and how to get out of it.
1) You chase short-term pleasure
When you’re stuck in your comfort zone you pursue short-term pleasure and avoid pain.
Even when you understand why some struggle is actually better for you in the long run, you try to dodge it.
You chase short-term highs like junk food, casual sex and only being friends with people who agree with you.
You surround yourself with the familiar and routine and seek to avoid anything strange, unknown or potentially disruptive to your beliefs or lifestyle.
This ties into the next point…
2) You avoid pain and discomfort
When you’re stuck in your comfort zone, you avoid pain and discomfort.
You’d rather a beautiful lie than the ugly truth, even if that ugly truth could directly affect you.
The name of the game is: “I don’t care if that’s true or not, I don’t want to know!”
As psychiatrist Phil Stutz and psychotherapist Barry Michels note, your comfort zone is where you go to try to dodge harsh truths and realities.
Michels provides examples such as:
“If you want to lose weight, you have to face the pain of depriving yourself of foods you enjoy.”
“If you want to leave a relationship, you have to face the specter of being alone.”
3) You prefer easy and predictable activities
When you’re in the comfort zone you prefer to keep things predictable.
You have your routine, your circle of friends, your beliefs and your bubble:
You don’t want anything to disturb that.
Even pleasant surprises aren’t really your cup of tea, and you’ve lost your taste for adventure.
You’d rather just have more of the same, keep the temperature at medium, let strong affection be good enough instead of the risk of all-out love.
You want to live life in the medium lane.
On this note…
4) Your motivation to take on new projects is shaky
When it comes to your professional life and new risks, you’d prefer to slow walk it.
New risks and challenges may pique your interest, but you rarely commit.
You always have one foot in and one foot out, ready to walk away if things get too hot.
You’re not just worried about failing. You also simply have adjusted to a pace and a routine where any change to it annoys you.
You’d rather keep things humming along and doing whatever the bare minimum is to draw a wage and finish out the day.
You may work hard, but you don’t do more than what is required of you.
Speaking of working hard…
5) Ambition seems unrealistic to you
Ambitious people and ideas seem unrealistic to you.
Of course, you’re aware that others take big chances and have huge ambitions. But they just don’t seem to be for you.
You have your place carved out in the world, and it’s good enough:
Why reach for more?
On the one hand, feeling fulfilled is a good thing, but on the other hand, complacency can lead to all sorts of lack of achievement and depression.
At the heart of the comfort zone is a fear of risk.
Speaking of this fear of taking a chance…
6) You don’t take risks
Being reckless about risks has sunk many a career and relationship:
But avoiding risks has also led to the ruination and mediocrity of many.
Risks come in all forms. It could just be talking to somebody you really like who you see every day at the cafe.
By not taking that risk and not taking bigger chances when they come up, you end up backing yourself into a corner.
That corner should have a big sign over it:
The comfort zone.
What’s especially ironic is that the comfort zone isn’t always so comfortable and can actually be a downright miserable place.
7) You live in daydreams
When you’re stuck in your comfort zone, you live in daydreams.
You think about other possibilities in love, in work and in the way your life goes…
But you mostly live in daydreams.
Your actual day-to-day life is remarkably uninteresting and bland. But inside your mind you’ve just landed on a tropical island and discovered a new tribe who welcomes you in and introduces you to their princess.
You’re wearing garlands and ready to get married. The whole world recognizes your true value.
Finally you’ve been brought out of your comfort zone, as if by magic! This is epic!
You rub your eyes and look around at the empty beer bottles…
It’s also a drunken daydream…
8) You assume you have nothing important to learn
When you’re in your comfort zone you become surprisingly resistant to learning anything new.
You feel like you’ve got a handle on whatever you need to know.
Even practical knowledge or advice just doesn’t seem that important and you don’t really want to hear it.
You’d prefer to just wing it, actually.
Even if a lack of knowledge ends up biting you in the a**, you seem to feel like it doesn’t matter.
You’re fine. You have nothing really important to learn anymore. You’ve seen it all.
Breaking free
Breaking free of your comfort zone is all about challenging the lies that you tell yourself.
Risks are an inherent part of life.
There’s no way to avoid them.
There is no “safe option” for how we go through this existence, and everything is going to include an element of change.
It’s all about realizing that change can be your friend instead of your enemy. It’s going to happen either way, so you might as well befriend it.
