What it really means when you often find yourself asking “Why bother?”

No one wakes up one day and casually decides to feel apathetic. When you find yourself continually saying, “Why bother?” you’re already dealing with an unspoken hollow point in your life. 

Some might call it an existential crisis, others might frame it as a modern-day predicament. Either way, it’s a state of being that screams for attention, demanding that you question your assumptions about life, success, and purpose.

I’ve noticed that this question often arises when we’re confronted with pressures that feel inhuman: a dull 9-to-5 routine, the exhausting pursuit of status, or the relentless bombardment of marketing campaigns telling us we’re incomplete without the latest gadget. 

Part of me wants to challenge these illusions by retorting, “Why do we keep chasing what won’t fill us up?” But I also understand the torment behind it. The question can feel profound, yet it can just as easily spiral into self-doubt and paralyze us with hopelessness.

It doesn’t help that society is built on illusions—myths we collectively agree upon without ever really choosing them. “Get a job, climb the ladder, secure your finances, buy more stuff.” End of story. The treadmill never stops. 

Slavoj Žižek once said, “Words are never ‘only words’; they matter because they define the contours of what we can do.” And so much of what we do is shaped by these illusions: we’re told to consume more, fit into a narrow box of “normal,” and never ruffle feathers.

Unsurprisingly, any conscious human being might respond: “Why bother playing a rigged game?” It’s in this mental space that cynicism creeps up, especially if you start seeing how empty these illusions can be. Whether it’s the façade of social media or the hollow corporate slogans about “making a difference,” you might begin to question the very foundation of your daily hustle. 

That’s actually healthy—up to a point. Because illusions aren’t necessarily harmless. They can be the seeds of our despair. They can drain our sense of self, distract us from our deeper calling, and keep us shackled to tasks that don’t nourish the soul.

The deeper root of dissatisfaction

Once you strip away the illusions, you’re left facing a reality that might be both liberating and terrifying. Alan Watts famously pointed out, “The meaning of life is just to be alive… and yet everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.” It’s almost comedic how often we forget the simple truth of being. We make it complicated with layers of guilt, shame, and performance.

Our dissatisfaction arises because we keep trying to measure life with the wrong metrics. We wonder why we feel empty when we’re counting up achievements but ignoring our actual experience of living. We wonder why we’re disillusioned when we treat relationships, passions, and spiritual curiosity as optional side quests instead of central reasons to wake up in the morning.

I’ve seen it in nature all the time: no animal asks itself, “Why bother?” The wolf hunts, the bird migrates, the tree extends its roots, all driven by an inherent sense of belonging. Meanwhile, we humans second-guess ourselves at every turn. We’re terrified of not being useful or recognized, and ironically, this fear stops us from engaging fully in life.

The path to meaning in a chaotic world

So, we’ve named the illusions. We’ve acknowledged the deeper root. Now what? 

A big part of my own journey has been recognizing that when you frequently ask, “Why bother?” you’re really seeking a reason to bother—some spark that makes life worth living. 

It might not look like the prepackaged “purpose” that’s sold in inspirational Instagram posts. Often, it’s more raw and contradictory. But it has to come from within you, not from an external authority.

When I co-founded The Vessel, we knew we wanted to create a space where people could discover that reason for themselves rather than having it dictated by society or tradition. 

Sometimes it’s as straightforward as reclaiming your connection to the wild—learning to appreciate the hush of dawn, the sensation of soil between your fingers, or the absolute wonder of witnessing a silent starry sky. 

Other times, it’s as complex as diving into old emotional wounds, rewriting your personal narrative, or aligning your career with your heart’s longing. Regardless, the process is an active one. You can’t snap your fingers and find purpose. You must create it, one intentional act at a time.

If you’re stuck in that mental cage of “Why bother?” let me suggest exploring my Free Your Mind masterclass. It’s a simple but powerful series of exercises that prompt you to examine your limiting beliefs and reconnect with what truly matters. I’m not here to shove dogmatic instructions down your throat, but if you’re ready for a shift, it’s one way to break from the paralysis and start forging a path of your own design.

Embracing discomfort as fuel

Let me guess: you were probably hoping for a neat little solution by now, something to extinguish your inner turmoil once and for all. But the hard truth is that “Why bother?” is not a dragon you slay—it’s a voice you learn to coexist with. One that might propel you to examine your life regularly, to strip away what no longer serves you, and to remain authentic in a world that thrives on superficialities.

I would say that apathy, this existential “meh,” is something we invented as a psychological coping mechanism. We harness it to protect ourselves from vulnerability, from investing in dreams that could fail. But what if we use that same energy to question assumptions, to sharpen our clarity, and to fuel our transformation? The discomfort can be a powerful compass, pointing us toward experiences where we’re forced to grow or risk stagnation.

Discomfort has been my greatest teacher. I’ve seen it in the eyes of individuals who decided to walk away from soul-depleting careers and dared to start fresh. I’ve witnessed it in the tears of people shedding old layers of trauma, braving the unknown in search of genuine human connection. In each case, the question “Why bother?” morphed into a challenge—why not bother, if what’s on the other side is your own unfiltered, original life?

Where we go from here

The world is loud, chaotic, and far from perfect. Asking “Why bother?” is often a legitimate response to the overwhelming demands placed upon us. But it doesn’t have to be a rhetorical surrender. It can be an invitation to see the cracks in the system—and in ourselves—where true purpose might take root.

I’ve learned that every time I feel those words bubble up, it’s a sign I need to pivot, recalibrate, or purge outdated ideas. Some days, it means leaning fully into my daily rituals: tending to my plants, meditating with the sunrise, or crafting new ways to combine ancient shamanic wisdom with modern technology. Other days, it’s about having uncomfortable conversations with loved ones, or being bold enough to question my own professional path.

If you’ve been grappling with that nagging “Why bother?” for too long, maybe it’s time to redirect that restlessness into something more constructive. If the illusions of consumerism and superficial success have left you hollow, good. That means you’re capable of recognizing the emptiness in them. And recognition is the first step to real change. If your heart tells you to create, to heal, or to build a different kind of future, let that longing break the spell of indifference.

Eventually, you may come to see that “Why bother?” isn’t an end point but a threshold. On the other side is your untamed self—raw, alive, and brimming with a sense of wonder. That sense of wonder is what I find time and time again in the unpolluted corners of our planet, in people who defy conventions, and in personal breakthroughs that no economic system can buy.

Whatever path you choose, remember: it’s not about magically banishing the question. It’s about allowing it to transform your worldview in a way that’s both humbling and liberating. Because once you start channeling that existential ache into meaningful action, you’ll realize how alive and powerful you truly are.

So, my challenge to you is this: step forward, breathe deeply, and engage—fully, messily, gloriously. Because “bothering” might just be the most revolutionary thing you ever do.