7 excuses toxic people use to make you feel guilty when it’s really their fault

There’s a glaring contrast between taking responsibility and shifting blame.

The key distinction lies in accountability.

A toxic person tends to make excuses and shift blame to others, often making you feel guilty for situations that are truly their responsibility.

Understanding this can be a game-changer.

Trust me, there are certain phrases toxic people often use to shift blame and induce guilt.

Let’s delve into the seven common excuses toxic people use to make you feel guilty when it’s really their fault.

1) “You’re too sensitive.”

Ever been in a situation where someone hurts your feelings, but instead of apologizing they blame it on you being too sensitive?

This is a classic tactic used by toxic individuals to shift blame—this excuse is a double-edged sword.

On one side, it puts you in a defensive position, leading you to question your own reactions; on the other side, it relieves them of any responsibility for their actions or words.

Remember, it’s about them failing to acknowledge their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions.

Don’t let anyone belittle your feelings or make you feel guilty for having them.

All feelings are valid, and no one has the right to make you feel otherwise.

Embrace your emotions, they are part of what makes you human.

Blaming others for one’s own misbehavior is a clear sign of toxicity.

2) “I didn’t mean it like that.”

One experience I can’t forget is when a friend made a snide remark about my career choice.

When I confronted them, they quickly brushed it off with, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

This is a common excuse toxic people use.

They say something hurtful or offensive and then retreat behind the shield of “misinterpretation” when called out.

In my case, this friend was making me feel guilty for misunderstanding their ‘joke’, instead of acknowledging that their words were hurtful.

It was their way of dodging responsibility and putting the blame on me for not ‘getting’ their humor.

If someone makes you feel bad with their words or actions, it’s not your fault for reacting to it.

It’s on them to communicate better and more respectfully.

3) “I was just joking.”

Who hasn’t heard the old “I was just joking” excuse?

It is one of the most frequently used tactics by toxic individuals to belittle or disrespect others under the guise of humor.

Interestingly, people often use sarcastic or critical humor as a disguise for expressing hostility or disdain.

They may laugh it off as a joke, but the underlying intention is far from humorous.

Just remember, humor should never come at the expense of another’s feelings.

If a so-called ‘joke’ hurts or offends you, then it’s an excuse to shift blame and avoid accountability.

4) “You’re overreacting.”

When toxic people want to downplay their actions and shift blame, they often accuse you of overreacting.

This is a classic way to make you second-guess your feelings and reactions.

By focusing the attention on your reaction rather than their actions, they avoid taking responsibility for whatever they’ve done.

It’s a subtle form of gaslighting designed to make you question your own judgement.

Always remember, your feelings are valid, and you have every right to express them.

Don’t allow someone else’s unwillingness to accept responsibility make you feel guilty for your natural reactions.

5) “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

This is an excuse I’ve come across more times than I’d like to admit.

It sounds like an apology, but it’s far from it.

In reality, this phrase is a covert way of shifting blame onto you.

Instead of apologizing for their actions, they’re simply expressing regret for your feelings.

I remember a time when someone close to me made this exact “apology” after a big disagreement.

It left me feeling unheard and invalidated, as though my feelings were the problem, not their actions.

A genuine apology acknowledges the wrongdoing and doesn’t deflect blame.

6) “I was stressed out.”

Stress is a part of life, we all experience it—but when toxic individuals use it as an excuse for their poor behavior, that’s where the line needs to be drawn.

Saying “I was stressed out” is often a way for them to shift blame onto external factors instead of taking responsibility for their actions.

It’s an attempt to make you empathize with their situation and overlook their mistake.

However, stress is not an excuse to treat people poorly or make them feel guilty.

Everyone experiences stress, but it’s how we handle it that defines us.

7) “You made me do it.”

This is arguably the most toxic excuse of them all.

It’s a clear attempt to shift all the blame onto you, making you feel responsible for their actions.

The truth is, we all have control over our actions and reactions.

No one can “make” us do anything.

This excuse is simply a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior.

Always remember, you are not responsible for someone else’s actions.

Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

Final thoughts: It’s about respect

The complexities of human interactions and relationships often boil down to one fundamental component: respect.

Respect, or the lack thereof, can often be discerned in the excuses people make.

When someone consistently shifts blame onto you, it’s an indication that they’re not respecting your feelings or perspective.

It’s critical to remember that, irrespective of any excuse, you’re not responsible for someone else’s actions.

The next time you encounter these excuses, take a moment and reflect on what’s really happening.

You have the power to recognize these tactics for what they are: attempts to escape accountability.

Your feelings are valid, and you deserve respect.

Stand strong in your truth and remember, the blame lies with them, not with you.