Women who are confident on the surface but insecure deep down often display these 7 behaviors

My mom used to say, “Appearances can be deceiving.” It took me a while to grasp what she meant.

Consider this: a confident woman who lights up the room might still struggle with insecurities. People often aren’t as they seem, and those who appear confident may exhibit certain behaviors that reveal underlying insecurities.

If you’re wondering what these behaviors are, stay tuned! This article will dive into 7 such behaviors that are often displayed by women who appear confident but are actually insecure deep down.

1) Overcompensation in social situations

Have you ever noticed?

Some women, who seem confident, tend to overcompensate in social situations. They’re the loudest in the room, always making sure they’re heard. It’s as if they’re trying to convince themselves and others of their worth.

You see, this is often a mask for their insecurities.

Underneath this facade of confidence, they might be screaming for validation. They may need constant affirmation from others to feel good about themselves.

2) Perfectionist tendencies

I remember a friend of mine, let’s call her Jane.

Jane always seemed to have it all together. She was meticulous, detail-oriented, and everything she did was perfect – or at least, that’s how it appeared.

One day, she confided in me. She told me she was constantly anxious about making mistakes. She was afraid that people would think less of her if everything wasn’t perfect.

In reality, Jane’s perfectionism wasn’t about being flawless; it was an armor she wore to hide her insecurities. She believed that if she could control everything and make it perfect, no one would see her vulnerabilities.

So, what seemed like a strength was actually a defense mechanism. It made me realize how important it is to look beneath the surface and understand that people are often fighting battles we know nothing about.

3) Fear of rejection

We all fear rejection to some extent, don’t we? But for some, this fear runs deeper than we can imagine.

I’ve seen women who seem to have it all – confidence, charisma, and a sparkling personality – yet behind closed doors, they dread the idea of rejection. They’re terrified that if they show their true selves, people won’t accept them.

It’s a tough act to keep up.

They’re always on edge, constantly second-guessing their decisions, and overthinking their actions. They would do anything to fit in and avoid potential rejection.

But here’s the truth – these women are not alone. We all have insecurities and fears, it’s part of being human. Acknowledging them is the first step towards overcoming them.

4) Constant need for approval

This one’s a tricky one.

Ever met a woman who always seeks others’ approval? She’s the one who constantly looks for validation in others’ opinions. She adjusts her behavior, her decisions, and even her thoughts based on what she thinks others would approve of.

The scary part is – she might not even realize it.

She believes she’s just being considerate or accommodating. But in reality, this constant need for approval stems from deep-seated insecurities. She fears that her authentic self might not be good enough for others.

An approval is nice to hear and to have, but it should never define your self-worth.

You are enough, just as you are.

5) The habit of self-deprecating humor

Humor is a powerful tool. It can diffuse tension, bring people closer, and lighten the mood. But did you know it can also be a shield to hide insecurities?

That’s right.

Some women who appear confident often use self-deprecating humor. They make jokes at their own expense, downplay their achievements, or highlight their flaws in a humorous way.

Sure, it can be charming and relatable, but it could also be a way for them to control how others perceive their imperfections. By pointing them out first, they feel they can lessen the impact of any potential criticism.

6) Difficulty accepting compliments

“Wow, you look amazing today!”

How often have you heard a woman respond to this with something like, “Oh this old thing? I just threw it on.”

Sounds familiar?

It’s interesting how some women find it hard to accept compliments graciously. They downplay it, deflect it, or outright deny it. It’s like they’re uncomfortable with the idea of being praised.

But here’s what I want to say to these women – You are deserving. Don’t shy away from praise. Embrace it, because you’re wonderful and you should know it. Let’s learn to accept compliments as graciously as we give them.

7) They’re often overly critical of themselves

This is something I’ve observed time and again.

Women who project confidence but are insecure deep down are often their own harshest critics. They hold themselves to impossibly high standards and beat themselves up over the smallest of shortcomings.

On the outside, they seem driven and ambitious, but on the inside, they might be crumbling under the weight of their own expectations. This self-criticism is more than just striving for excellence – it’s a sign of hidden insecurities.

This, I believe, is crucial for us to understand and acknowledge. Let’s be kinder to ourselves, let’s celebrate our successes, and let’s learn to see our failures as stepping stones, not stumbling blocks.

A final note

If you recognize these behaviors in yourself or someone you know, remember this – it’s okay.

Insecurities are a natural part of being human and often signal growth.

Acknowledging them is key to overcoming them; it’s not about perfection but being genuine and embracing our flaws.

Let’s appreciate ourselves for who we are and be kind and patient on our journey of self-discovery.

The most attractive quality is authenticity, not just confidence.

Let’s embrace our authentic selves and let the world see us for who we truly are – beautifully imperfect and perfectly human.