8 things you should never feel guilty for doing in a relationship, according to psychology

We often find ourselves feeling guilty for certain actions or decisions we make in a relationship. But guess what?

There are things you should never feel guilty about, especially when they’re crucial for your well-being.

Psychology has something to say about this. It tells us that maintaining our individuality and setting boundaries are not just okay, but necessary.

In this article, we’ll discuss 8 things you should never feel guilty for doing in a relationship. Trust me, it’s a game changer!

1) Prioritizing your own happiness

We often hear that relationships are about sacrifice and compromise, and yes, while those elements are necessary to a certain extent, it’s not the whole story.

Here’s the thing, you shouldn’t feel guilty for prioritizing your own happiness. I know, it may sound selfish at first, but let’s dive into this a bit deeper.

Psychology tells us that self-care is far from selfish. In fact, it’s essential for our mental health.

By prioritizing your own happiness, you’re not just taking care of yourself, but also ensuring that you’re in a good position to contribute positively to the relationship.

Think about it.

It’s like the safety instruction on airplanes – you have to put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help others. The same concept applies here.

So next time you find yourself feeling guilty for doing something that makes you happy, remember, it’s not just okay but necessary for a healthy relationship.

2) Spending time alone

Let me share something personal.

In my previous relationships, I often felt guilty for wanting to spend some time alone. I thought it meant I didn’t care enough or I was being selfish. But here’s what I learned.

Psychology tells us that alone time is crucial for our mental health. It allows us to recharge, to think, to connect with ourselves. It’s not a sign of disinterest in our partner.

I remember once, after a hectic week, all I wanted was a quiet evening by myself.

Instead of explaining this to my partner, I felt guilty and forced myself to engage when all I needed was silence.

I ended up being irritable and, honestly, not the best company. Later on, when I understood the importance of alone time and communicated about it openly with my partner, things changed for the better.

So remember, wanting some ‘me’ time is not something you should feel guilty about. Clear communication can make a world of difference here.

3) Saying no

If there’s one thing we often struggle with, it’s saying no. Especially in a relationship, we can feel obliged to agree to everything our partner suggests.

But here’s the thing.

Saying no is an essential part of any healthy relationship. It helps set boundaries and ensures that your needs and desires are respected.

Psychologists have found that individuals who have difficulty saying no are more likely to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. This is because they often overcommit themselves and struggle to manage their time and energy effectively.

So next time you’re hesitant about saying no, remember that it’s not just acceptable, but vital for your mental wellbeing and the overall health of your relationship. It’s about respecting your personal limits and ensuring you’re not stretching yourself too thin.

4) Having separate interests

Contrary to the notion of “a couple that does everything together stays together”, maintaining individual interests is actually beneficial for a relationship.

This isn’t about leading separate lives, but about preserving your own identity.

It’s about having something that you love doing on your own, something that fuels your passion and makes you who you are.

Psychology suggests that separate interests can create a healthier dynamic in a relationship. It promotes individual growth, and it also gives you interesting topics to talk about when you’re together.

So, don’t feel guilty for pursuing your hobby or spending time on personal interests. It’s an essential part of being you and building a healthy relationship.

5) Expressing your feelings

Here’s something that tugs at the heartstrings.

We often hold back our feelings, fearing they might upset our partner or disrupt the peace.

But bear in mind, expressing your feelings is not just important; it’s essential for a healthy relationship.

It’s about being true to yourself and to your partner. It’s about sharing your joys, your fears, your doubts, your dreams. It’s about letting them know when you’re hurt and when you’re ecstatic.

In psychology, this openness is called emotional intimacy. It forms the bedrock of a strong, lasting relationship. It breeds trust, understanding, and ultimately love.

So next time you find yourself holding back your feelings, remember it’s okay to express them. It’s okay to let your partner see the real you. We all have emotions, and they are meant to be shared.

6) Asking for help

Once, I found myself in a situation where I was overwhelmed with work and personal issues.

Instead of reaching out to my partner, I chose to struggle alone, thinking it was my responsibility to deal with my problems.

But here’s the thing.

Asking for help in a relationship isn’t a sign of weakness or incompetence. It’s a sign of trust. It shows that you’re comfortable enough to show your vulnerabilities and that you trust your partner to provide support.

Reaching out can strengthen the bond between you two. It allows your partner to step in, offer support, and show their love and care in a tangible way.

So never feel guilty for asking for help from your partner. It’s about sharing life, with its ups and downs, together.

7) Needing reassurance

We all have our moments of insecurity and doubt, don’t we? And sometimes, we need a little reassurance from our partner.

It could be about how they feel about us, or about any uncertainties we might have in the relationship.

Needing reassurance is a normal part of human relationships. We’re social creatures who thrive on connection and affirmation. So, it’s okay to need a reminder of your partner’s love or commitment.

Remember, asking for reassurance doesn’t make you needy or insecure. It simply means you value the relationship and want to keep it secure and healthy. So don’t hesitate to express your needs to your partner.

8) Making mistakes

We’re human, and we all make mistakes. In relationships, these mistakes can lead to misunderstandings or arguments.

But here’s the crucial part – you should never feel guilty for making mistakes.

Mistakes are opportunities for growth. They help us understand what works and what doesn’t in our relationship. They help us to become better partners.

So, when you make a mistake, own it, learn from it, and move forward. It’s a part of the journey of being in a relationship and growing as an individual.

So don’t let guilt weigh you down. Instead, let your mistakes be stepping stones to a stronger, healthier relationship.

Final thoughts: It’s about balance

The essence of any relationship, romantic or otherwise, lies in the delicate balance between ‘us’ and ‘me’. This balance is crucial for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Understanding that certain behaviors are not just acceptable, but necessary, can drastically change how we perceive and navigate our relationships. Whether it’s prioritizing our happiness, spending time alone, or saying no when we need to, these are important aspects of maintaining our individuality within a relationship.

The goal isn’t to tip the scale entirely towards ‘me’ but to ensure that ‘us’ doesn’t overshadow ‘me’. It’s about understanding that guilt has no place when it comes to taking care of ourselves within a relationship.

So as you traverse the journey of your relationships, remember this balance. Reflect on these points and understand that it’s okay to take care of your needs. It’s okay to be you in a relationship. After all, that’s who your partner fell in love with.

Stuck in Breakup Limbo? This 8-Step Guide Shows the Way Forward

Going through a breakup can feel gutting. The pain, loneliness, and resentment make it hard to move on. Maybe you’ve felt stuck for months or even years unable to let go.

But staying anchored to the past robs us from living fuller lives in the present.

Breakup expert Annabel Acton knows this heartache all too well. Which is why she created this free 8-step guide to transform breakup pain into post-breakup happiness.

In this simple but proven plan, you’ll discover:

  • How to process feelings of grief, anger, guilt
  • Tips to rediscover your self-worth
  • Ways to clear out the physical remnants of the past
  • Tools to shift your mindset and embrace new beginnings

Thousands have attested this program was the key to finally letting go and feeling free.

Don’t waste another day stuck in the past. Get the clarity and strategies you need to move forward.

Download the guide and walk the path to breakup recovery.

 

Feeling Lost in Life? This Masterclass Reveals Your True Calling

Do you ever wonder about your deeper purpose and meaning? Question if you’re fulfilling your true potential?

It’s easy to feel directionless, going through the motions each day without knowing why. Unsure of what you were put on this earth to do.

But everyone has a unique purpose and special talents to offer the world. The trick is uncovering what they are.

That’s why Justin Brown made this game-changing masterclass exposing common myths around finding your calling.

In this video training, you’ll discover:

  • Why visualization and meditation often fail to reveal your purpose
  • How to skip imagined futures and connect with your purpose here and now
  • Why toxic positivity hinders self-development
  • A simple but powerful exercise to pinpoint what you were born to do

With this radically different approach, your true calling will finally come into focus.

Stop wandering aimlessly without purpose and embrace your full potential.

Watch the masterclass to uncover your gifts and know the difference you’re here to make.

 

Picture of Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley

Eliza Hartley, a London-based writer, is passionate about helping others discover the power of self-improvement. Her approach combines everyday wisdom with practical strategies, shaped by her own journey overcoming personal challenges. Eliza's articles resonate with those seeking to navigate life's complexities with grace and strength.

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