7 things introverts find incredibly tedious, according to psychology

Sometimes, introverts get a bad rap, right? They get labeled as ‘quiet’ or ‘shy’. I’ve even heard someone describe their introverted colleague as ‘boring and reserved’. 

The truth is: introverts are often misunderstood by the rest of the world. 

Today, we’re diving into their world to help you understand what really makes them tick. Whether you’re an introvert yourself and you’re curious to see if these things resonate with you or you’re an extrovert trying to understand the introverts in your life, you’re in the right place.   

We’re about to explore 7 things that introverts find incredibly tedious, according to the experts. Hopefully, this will clear up some common misconceptions and shed more light on why introverts are the way they are. 

Let’s see how many of these sound familiar to you. 

1) Small talk

As an introvert myself, one of the most annoying things ever is small talk.

I just don’t get it. I prefer having deep conversations. It’s way more enjoyable to sit with a couple of people and really learn about them than to make pointless small talk. 

And it’s not just me. Many introverts feel the same way. As outlined by Psychology Today “Conversationally, introverts prefer to dive deep. They want to know what’s really going on in your head.”

The idea of idle chit-chat is dull and tiresome for most introverts. They like to get past the surface and dive deeper. This preference for deep conversation over small talk might surprise some people. They often think introverts are shy or antisocial and don’t like talking at all. 

In reality, they enjoy engaging in meaningful discussions. What they truly can’t stand is small talk; it feels incredibly pointless. They feel more connected having conversations that get to the heart of matters. If that’s not an option, they prefer to be quiet. 

2) Unscheduled calls

Ever been in the middle of something and suddenly your phone rings? If you’re an introvert, this probably feels like a big, unnecessary interruption.

When calls come out of nowhere, it feels like they mess up your plans for the quiet time you value, right? Even when it’s someone you really care about on the other end of the line, these unexpected calls throw you off.

It’s no secret, introverts need alone time. Sociologist and writer, Anna Akbari PhD highlights why, “Like a true introvert, I recharge in the quiet, solitary moments. It’s where I do my best thinking. It’s where I gain clarity. Creating ample time for solitude makes me a better person.” 

An unexpected phone call interrupts this precious time for introverts. It robs them of their sacred solitude and doesn’t usually add any value to them because let’s face it, most phone calls could be a simple text. Introverts just don’t see the need for the majority of unscheduled calls.

So, it’s probably not surprising that introverts find unscheduled calls super annoying. They’d much rather if someone scheduled time and allowed them to plan for a time that suits them best, so their precious quiet time wouldn’t be interrupted. 

3) Socializing in big groups 

Ever feel like you need a nap after just thinking about a big social gathering?

For introverts, socializing in groups is exhausting. It’s not just about being around people; it’s the constant interaction, and having to keep up with multiple conversations at once that they struggle with. It’s a lot of stimulation, and it can quickly become overwhelming.

Studies show that extroverts and introverts react differently to social stimulation. In general, extroverts are often energized by groups, they feel rewarded by social interaction. Introverts, on the other hand, get drained quickly by crowds and prefer one-to-one interactions. 

“Introverts feel like they can only get quality time with people one-on-one, but extroverts can get their social needs met in group gatherings.” as noted by Sophia Dembling, author of ‘The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World’.

So, given how tedious large group gatherings can be for introverts, it’s not surprising that they often slip out early or find reasons not to show up at all. 

4) Being the center of attention

This is a big one. For introverts, there’s almost nothing worse than being the center of attention. 

While some people love the spotlight and really shine when all eyes are on them, it’s a different story for most introverts. They dread being put on the spot, even if it’s for something positive like a birthday celebration or a work achievement.

Being the focus of a group can make them feel anxious and overwhelmed. As noted by Wellness coach, Elizabeth Scott PhD, “Some research has shown that introverted people tend to experience higher levels of social anxiety, including anticipatory anxiety.” 

It’s not about being ungrateful; it’s just really uncomfortable for them so they can’t enjoy it or appreciate it in the moment. They prefer to stay on the sidelines, where they can observe and interact at their own pace.  

Just remember: even though introverts might not enjoy being the center of attention, they still appreciate the recognition, they just prefer it in a less conspicuous way.

5) Unnecessary meetings

Do you get called into way too many unnecessary meetings at work? 

My old boss, an extrovert, loved meetings. It felt like we had meetings just to plan more meetings. It was incredibly frustrating because so much time was spent discussing things that could have been communicated quickly via email or a memo.

Here’s the thing: unnecessary meetings drain introverts because they require constant social energy and attention without providing much value. Introverts often find it tough to stay engaged in conversations that lack focus or clear objectives. 

But it’s not just that: research has found that introverts process information more slowly and thoroughly than most people. They can’t just share their thoughts off the cuff. They need time to digest information. And when they’re constantly in meetings, they don’t have time to process. 

So, if you’re nodding along, thinking about all the pointless meetings you’ve been to, you’re not alone. Other introverts just like you find them tiresome too.

6) Open office spaces

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to thrive in open office spaces while others might look like they’re just trying to get through the day?

For introverts, open office layouts can be a nightmare. The lack of walls means there’s no barrier to noise, interruptions, and constant visual distractions. This setup can make it hard for introverts to focus and do their best work.

Studies show that introverts are easily distracted and very sensitive to noise and disruptions; because of this the constant buzz and activity in an open office drains their energy. It’s no wonder they perform better in environments where they can control their sensory inputs.

Open office spaces are exhausting for introverts because they struggle to focus or get any quiet time. If you notice someone always wearing headphones or looking for quiet spots in the office, there’s a good chance they’re just trying to find a peaceful area to work more effectively.

7) Shopping in busy stores 

We already know that introverts are more likely to feel drained in places with lots of stimuli, right? When you think about it: a busy shopping area is massively over-stimulating. 

The noise, crowds, and busy atmosphere of popular shopping areas don’t appeal to introverts. They find all the bright lights, loud sounds, and lots of people exhausting. This can make a simple shopping trip feel stressful and they’d rather use their energy on something else. 

I can’t stand shopping during busy times. It’s so intense and crowded I just want to escape. After only a few hours of shopping, I’m wiped and go into what some people call ‘an introvert hangover.’ It’s basically where I hide away, recharging after a tough day of shopping. 

You probably won’t often find introverts shopping in busy stores by choice. It’s just too draining and not enjoyable. They prefer shopping at quieter times or online, where they can avoid the crowd and still pick up some great bargains. 

Final thoughts

There you have it, 7 things that introverts find incredibly tedious. 

Turns out: avoiding crowded places and getting involved in small talk isn’t because they hate people, they just don’t find those things exciting or engaging.

If you’re an introvert, don’t be afraid to stay true to yourself and do things that you want to do. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks because when it comes to how you choose to spend your time, there’s no right or wrong. It’s all about personal preference.