Respect and admiration are things that we crave in all areas of our lives.
Whether it’s in the workplace, within our community, or amongst our closest relationships, everyone wants to be held in high regard.
So how can you tell that people look up to you and value what you have to offer?
Luckily there are some psychological signs that someone respects and admires you.
Here’s what to watch out for…
1) They pay you sincere compliments
Whilst we’ve all been cautioned about the dangers of love bombing, kind words certainly have their place.
Research has found that compliments have a mood-lifting effect.
In fact, neuroscientists claim being offered a compliment lights up the same area of the brain as receiving a monetary reward.
No wonder then that sincere compliments can help our relationships and be a strong way to show you hold someone in high esteem.
As pointed out by NBC News it all comes down to showing appreciation.
“Compliments make us feel good — both giving and receiving them. Feeling valued and appreciated are basic human needs…Appreciation is also foundational in relationships, both those with our partners and spouses and with our friends…It’s part of what makes us want to cooperate and collaborate with those around us.”
If someone pays you compliments it’s a sign that they see your positive qualities and are giving you credit for them.
2) They listen with interest to what you have to say
The simple fact that someone listens to you can easily go unnoticed. Yet it is a silent form of respect.
It’s significant as it highlights they’re interested in what you have to say.
Listening properly isn’t easy in a world full of distractions.
Being an active listener means paying close attention to someone.
That’s why doing so shows that you’re important to them, as explained by psychologist Sabrina Romanoff. “Ultimately, it shows respect and value for the other person’s needs, concerns, and ideas as the listener is actively signaling the other person matters to them.”
3) They want to learn from you
Perhaps you have particular skills, talents, or knowledge to share.
And they are receptive to learning from your experiences.
They want to know more about your achievements or accomplishments for their own personal growth.
They may ask you to retell stories, share your insights, or teach them practical skills.
Speaking in Forbes, entrepreneur Samantha Harrington says she’s gained a lot of business wisdom from looking to others.
“I’ve learned how to be an entrepreneur through the stories of mentors’ successes and failures. I’ve learned how to run my company through conversations with small business owners about how they work and by listening to how a former boss learned how to be a good manager. And I learned how to be a teammate by reading about examples of successful teams.”
Showing regard for your abilities and what they stand to learn from you is a clear mark of admiration.
4) They don’t mess you around
What do I mean by that?
They respect your time, energy, and efforts.
Actions are the biggest long-term indicator of someone’s feelings and intentions toward you.
That means matching anything you put out and giving it back to you.
Whenever we feel like someone doesn’t truly value us it’s usually because they fail to do this.
Consistent behavior is a sign of respect and admiration.
On the other hand, flakiness, a lazy approach to making an effort, or broken promises means someone isn’t very concerned about the impression they’re making on you.
5) They ask you questions about your thoughts and feelings
Caring about someone’s feelings and views, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them, is another mark of respect.
And the best way to get to know someone is by asking them questions.
Studies have shown that it also makes you instantly more likable.
As the researchers explain: “When people ask more questions, they are perceived as higher in responsiveness, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation, and care. People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”
Essentially it’s about showing an interest in you.
If someone makes an effort to dig deeper into your feelings, ideas, thoughts, and perspectives it’s probably because they value what you have to share.
6) They trust you to get the job done
They don’t need to check up on you.
They already know that when you’ve said you’ll do something, then you will.
The fact that someone leaves you to get on with things may not be something you’ve given much thought to before.
Yet this shows trust.
People often micromanage when they can’t let go and don’t have faith in others to take control.
Confidently allowing autonomy in our relationships, both professional and personal, is a sign of mutual regard and respect.
7) They treat you as an equal
It may sound like an obvious point, yet there are countless unbalanced connections out there.
Some people are only nice to you when it serves them.
Manipulators, fakers, and users can bring on the charm one moment only to treat you like dirt the next.
Yet the very foundations of respect according to psychology must involve accepting someone on an equal level.
That means giving them the same consideration you would expect for yourself.
They never talk down to you or act as though your thoughts and feelings are less important than theirs.
They accept you for who you are and don’t see themselves as better than you.
8) They honor your boundaries
Too many people mistakenly think they have respect and admiration in a relationship even when the fundamentals are missing.
For example, their partner flatters them with sweet words, yet doesn’t take no for an answer when it comes to getting their own way.
Or their boss says they are a valued member of the team, but constantly does things that undermine their role.
Psychology tells us that boundaries are there to protect us and are an essential part of all healthy relationships.
They are the silent codes of conduct we expect others to abide by.
When you respect and admire someone you fully honor these without question.
9) They copy you
When someone’s admiration grows, you may notice that they start to subtly follow your lead.
That can be anything from mimicking and mirroring your movements, which the science shows we subconsciously do whenever we like or agree with somebody.
But their imitation may go one step further, with them wearing similar clothes, trying to join in with your hobbies, or picking up the same preferences as you.
It could be that they are wanting guidance and see you as someone to look up to.
It may be that they are hoping to strengthen your bond by showing you just how alike you two are.
Either way, you know what they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
10) They’ve got your back
Respect and admiration often fuel fierce loyalty.
Just ask Taylor Swift fans!
That’s why when someone sticks up for you, it’s because you’ve made a strong impression on them.
Fake friends may join in on gossiping or bad-mouthing, but those who genuinely care will always defend you.
Perhaps they are quick to have your back and support you in a disagreement. Maybe you find out that they defended your honor when you weren’t around.
Having someone’s back is how we put our money where our mouth is and directly show our esteem for somebody.
11) They come to you for advice
It makes sense that the people we go to for counsel are those who we think most highly of.
When someone takes on board your opinion before making a decision you shouldn’t take that lightly.
Because you can like someone, but that doesn’t mean you think of them as someone to look up to.
If somebody asks you “What do you think I should do?” or “What’s your take on it?” then it’s clear they believe you’ll give them some useful advice.
It turns out that asking for advice also makes a good impression.
As pointed out in Inc, studies have noted that “Most people fear that asking for advice will make them look dumb, when actually it makes them look smart. At the same time, most of us think that those who ask for our advice are smarter than those who don’t.”
Perhaps we instinctively warm to those who seek our advice because in doing so they’re showing us respect and admiration.
12) They share very personal information with you
Maybe they confide in you delicate or sensitive information. They could even share their secrets with you.
When someone shows us that they can be relied upon, we tend to reward them by putting our faith in them.
Confiding in somebody isn’t something we do lightly according to psychologist Noam Shpancer.
“Research has shown that we do not confide in others at random. Rather, we are motivated by various considerations regarding the risk-reward ratio of confiding. For example, people are more likely to confide if they feel it will provide an emotional release (catharsis) or that the target has a right to know…People confide more in others who are compassionate and assertive (and less in those who are enthusiastic and polite).“
Vulnerability isn’t easy which is exactly why it’s a strong sign of trust.
