8 signs you’re struggling to live up to the expectations of others

Life’s expectations can be a bit of a maze, and it gets trickier when we’re talking about living up to what everyone else wants.

Sometimes, we’re so deep in the game of meeting these expectations that we don’t even realize how much it’s messing with us. It’s like getting tossed around in a whirlwind of shoulds and musts, and you’re left wondering where you really stand.

No worries, though—I’m here to help you spot the signs that you might be stuck in the loop of trying to please everyone else. Because, you know, sometimes just recognizing these signs is the first step to grabbing back the reins of your own life.

Here are 8 tell-tale signs that you might be trying too hard to meet everyone else’s expectations.

1) You’re constantly worried about disappointing others

Living in the fear of disappointing others can be an exhausting experience. And it’s a clear sign that you’re struggling to meet their expectations.

You become hesitant to make decisions or take action, for fear that it won’t align with what others expect from you.

This fear of disappointment isn’t just about big life decisions. It can creep into the smallest parts of your daily life – from what you wear, to what you say, to how you spend your free time.

Sometimes, stressing about letting people down comes from expecting way too much from ourselves. Let’s keep it real: take a breather and ask yourself if the bar set, whether by you or others, is actually doable. Have an open chat about what’s realistically possible, and don’t be afraid to set some boundaries to keep things manageable. It’s all about finding that sweet spot where expectations meet reality.

2) You feel like you’re wearing a mask

I can totally recall a time when I felt like I was stuck in this never-ending act.

Every morning, I woke up to feeling as if I was wearing a mask, being stuck in someone else’s story, not my own.

Whether I was faking a smile at a job I couldn’t stand or pretending to fit into a crowd that didn’t vibe with my values at all – it was a constant game.

Then I realized, when you’re always trying to meet other folks’ expectations, you end up losing touch with the real you.

3) Your self-worth is tied to the approval of others

We all crave a bit of acceptance and thumbs-up from the folks around us, right? But, if your happiness is riding on what everyone else thinks of you, that’s a surefire sign you’re wrestling with their expectations.

Psychologists have found that those people who tie their self-worth to external validation usually end up dealing with more stress, anger, school hiccups, and drama in relationships.

My point is: When your confidence totally depends on how much approval you get, it’s time to hit pause and reevaluate your situation. You should nurture that self-worth from within and not let it be all about what the outside world dishes out.

4) You feel a constant sense of guilt

Guilt is a powerful emotion and it can be incredibly debilitating when it’s constantly present in your life.

If you’re always feeling guilty about not doing enough or not being enough, it’s a sign that you’re struggling to meet the expectations of others. Whether it’s guilt over not spending enough time with your family, not working hard enough, or not living up to some ideal image – these feelings can be overwhelming.

Here’s a memo: it’s impossible to do everything perfectly and trying to do so often leads to guilt and self-doubt. It’s important to give yourself permission to be human and fallible.

5) You’re always seeking permission

If you find yourself constantly checking in with others before making decisions, it might be a hint that you’re wrestling with the weight of their expectations.

Maybe you’re fishing for a thumbs-up or some validation before making any move, whether it’s a big life call like career stuff or relationships, or just the everyday decisions like picking an outfit or choosing where to chow down.

It doesn’t hurt to seek feedback from time to time. But when their opinions start influencing your decisions, it’s time for a reality check. Bottom line – you don’t need anyone’s permission to live your life as you see it fit. 

6) You’re losing touch with your own dreams and desires

This one really hits home for so many of us. When we get all tangled up in trying to meet everyone else’s expectations, it’s crazy easy to lose sight of what we actually want.

Maybe deep down, you’ve always been itching to be a writer, but you’re stuck crunching numbers in some corporate gig because that’s what your folks thought was best. Or maybe you’ve got this epic dream of trotting around the globe, but the fear of how your pals might react is holding you back.

When we shove our own dreams and wants aside just to keep others happy, it’s like we’re doing ourselves dirty and, on top of that, robbing the world of our awesome uniqueness.

Let this be your wake-up call: your dreams are legit and your desires important. Don’t let them get buried under the load of what everyone else thinks you should be doing.

7) You’re always on edge

I used to feel like I was tiptoeing on a tightrope – you know, always on my toes, trying to juggle what I wanted with what everyone else expected.

The fear of not meeting the expectations had me stuck in this never-ending anxiety loop. Every move, every decision, every chat felt like walking on eggshells.

Being stuck in this constant state of nervousness, always fretting about how every tiny thing will be perceived by others, is a clear indicator that you’re overwhelmed by external expectations. It’s definitely a challenging situation, and you know what? It’s totally fine to ask for help and discover some tips to kick that anxiety to the curb.

8) You’re not happy with your accomplishments

People who’re always hustling to meet everyone else’s expectations tend to brush off their own wins.

You might have this whole list of accomplishments you’ve pulled off that you’re secretly proud of but you’d rather not talk about them. Why? Because those wins probably weren’t for you – they were more for the audience.

Let’s get real – it’s time to spot and cheer on your own victories, whether they’re big or small. When you embrace your successes and stay true to who you are, you get to live authentically. You don’t have to stress about fitting into what others expect from you. 

Final thoughts: It’s about authenticity

In conclusion, recognizing the signs that you may be struggling to meet the expectations of others is the first step toward reclaiming control over your own life.

Whether it’s the constant feeling of overwhelm, the fear of judgment, or the persistent need for external validation, understanding these indicators empowers you to make positive changes.

Remember, your journey is unique, and prioritizing your well-being and authenticity is key. By acknowledging these signs, you pave the way for self-discovery, growth, and the pursuit of a life that aligns with your true desires and values.

Take the time to reflect, reassess, and embrace the path that resonates with your authentic self.