As we evolve, so do our standards for love.
Hence, sometimes whirlwind romances born out of youth or idealism don’t stand the test of time.
You might believe you’ve found that perfect guy or girl, but the cracks can gradually begin to surface–a process that can take months, if not years, before we realize it.
True, lasting compatibility is hard to come by.
So if you’re in a relationship or dating someone and are starting to question your viability as a long-term item, you’ve come to the right place.
In this article, I’ll walk you through some of the common signs that you’re perfect for each other right now, but not necessarily for tomorrow.
Let’s dive in!
1) Your interests are eerily similar
Maybe you bonded over a shared niche interest like sailing, arthouse film, corgis, or comic books. Or all of the above
Maybe you even met at Comicon or the cinema, or the corgi meet-up, and immediately hit it off.
There was magic in the air as you exchanged theories about the Marvel multiverse.
It got philosophical. It got deep. You both felt it.
You grew smitten, perhaps even wondering if you had finally met “the one.”
When the foundation of your union is built almost exclusively through shared hobbies and interests, while there will be a strong initial bond, it’s not always an enduring one.
People change, and as they grow and evolve, so do their interests and priorities.
So while you might enjoy comic books at a certain juncture in your life, sometimes that interest wanes over time–and hence, so does the quality of your relationship.
2) Your chemistry is off the charts
If you’ve ever watched one of those reality dating shows on Netflix, you’ll know that exceptional, fiery chemistry tends to fizzle out.
When your physical and emotional chemistry is on point from the get-go, things tend to move fast.
You might get swept off your feet, brimming with infatuation for your new beau.
Stay cautiously optimistic. Things could very well turn out to be a bit too good to be true.
While having chemistry is a great starting point, if the emotional connection isn’t quite there, you might want to slow it down.
You don’t want to be like that Netflix reality show contestant–butterflies one minute and heartbroken and single the next.
3) Every day is an adventure
Perhaps your latest lover is an exciting person.
Every day with them is thrilling. For them, routine is a foreign concept.
You can’t help but get caught in the spontaneity and adventure they are bringing to your life.
They’re part of an exhilarating world, and being with them can open doors for you that you never knew existed.
But still, your gut tells you something is off.
While your days are undoubtedly eventful, you remain questionable, and for good reason.
At some point, as the honeymoon phase fades, you’ll have to go back down to Earth, and when you do, true colors tend to come out.
So while adventure is great for any relationship, when it becomes the dominant theme, this can mean unpredictability and possibly, a lack of sustainability.
4) You get along too perfectly
Maybe you’ve had turbulent relationships in the past, so you feel your new partner is a breath of fresh air.
They’re just so easygoing.
There are minimal conflicts, your stress levels have been consistently low, and you just feel good.
However, if your partner seems to consistently remain passive and indifferent through the highs and lows, this doesn’t always bode well for your future as a couple.
Challenges are inevitable in any relationship.
You want someone invested enough to take them on with you, to fight for themselves and for you.
You want a co-pilot, not a passenger.
Anything less than the former, you’ll begin to lose respect. And once respect goes, so does the relationship.
5) Your friends and family love them
When it comes to romance, we tend to put a lot of credence into what those closest to us have to say.
Let’s say your date is a hit with your family and family, effortlessly winning them over.
They’re charming, they’re intelligent, they’re funny, they’re good-looking.
They seem to tick all the boxes, and your loved ones take notice.
It feels comfortable and reassuring.
You get so influenced by what others think, that you end up pursuing the relationship, not genuinely taking into consideration your true feelings.
Your newfound partner may be great, even perfect, on paper, but you just don’t feel the spark.
You don’t feel the emotional or physical attraction or, God forbid, both.
I used to be overly preoccupied about what my family thought of my dates.
If they didn’t love them, that would be a dealbreaker for me.
And if they liked them, but I wasn’t completely into them, I’d still give them a chance, even when my heart wasn’t fully invested.
I remember fresh out of college, I started dating a girl who my parents were instantly enamored with.
She quickly assumed the role of the daughter they never had–she was engaging, career-driven, and conventionally pretty.
But still, I wasn’t feeling it.
I drew out my relationship with her because of what everyone else felt, everyone else but me–which, in hindsight, was unfair to her too.
Eventually, I decided to start living for myself and ended it. To my surprise, my parents were fully supportive and understanding of my reasoning.
It was a bittersweet ending, one I’ve since chalked up to experience.
6) The sex is too good
I know a former couple who had great, even mindblowing, sex but were unhappy in practically every other regard.
Because of their mutually satisfying carnal connection, they were able to prolong their relationship for years, despite regularly feeling resentful towards one another outside the bedroom.
While sex, and intimacy, are definitely important, these things alone cannot sustain a lengthy, multifaceted, and complex relationship.
So if you’re having some passionate, steamy intercourse, but feel unfulfilled emotionally, it might be time to reassess things.
Final words
If it’s a serious, long-term relationship you’re after, it’s worth doing your due diligence.
It’s easy to get swept away in the initial moments, but if you want to mitigate heartache, you need to start looking beneath the surface.
Sometimes, the best relationships aren’t flashy.
What might seem ideal today can change as we grow and develop wisdom.
If you want sustainability, you’ll have to prioritize things like effort, communication, and adaptability.
Once you do that, you’ll have a clearer idea of what you want, and who you want to be with.
Struggling to Love Yourself? This Quiz Reveals Why and Shows You How
Do you sometimes feel unworthy, flawed, or not good enough? Like you’ll never measure up no matter how hard you try?
Most of us grapple with self-doubt and low self-esteem at times. And when we don’t love ourselves, it permeates everything – our relationships, our work, our inner peace.
But why is self-acceptance so hard? And how can we move from self-judgment to self-love?
That’s what this illuminating quiz dives into. It’s designed to uncover the specific barriers holding you back from embracing who you really are.
In just a few minutes, you’ll gain priceless insight into:
- The root insecurities driving your self-criticism
- How past emotional wounds shaped your self-perception
- Ways you unconsciously sabotage your happiness
With this valuable self-knowledge, you’ll be equipped to start the healing process and develop true self-love.
Stop feeling plagued by not being enough. Take the quiz now to pinpoint what’s distorting your self-image so you can reclaim your sense of self-worth.
The first step is bringing awareness to the problem. The solution will follow.
