11 signs a man loves you more than you think, according to psychology

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” 

If you’ve watched Notting Hill, you get the reference. 

But let’s get back to the point:

What if that boy already loves you? 

What if you’re just too oblivious to the signs that he truly loves you?

Sometimes, we get so stuck on our picture of what true love looks like, that we often miss the signs that someone truly loves us.

So let’s eliminate our ideals and biases and let’s turn to the experts to help us uncover what it really means to be loved by a man.

Here are 11 signs a man loves you more than you think, according to psychology:

1) He wants to spend time with you

This should be pretty obvious.

But if you needed reassurance, you’d be pleased to know that if he wants to invest time in you, that means he’s in it for the long run.

And that’s not just my opinion.

It’s also strongly supported by Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychologist and a Professor Emerita of Psychological and Brain Sciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst.

She adds that if a man truly cares about you, he “will use whatever time is left over to have some time together alone”.

2) He misses you when you’re apart

Yes, this is another given. 

But it needs to be said – if only to remind you of the many signs a man does to show he really loves you.

Psychologist and experienced couples counselor Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein reiterates that a glaring sign that he’s really in love with you is when he appreciates that you miss him and also when he misses you when you’re not around.

When says he misses you, it means he really feels the gap when you’re not there. 

He’s not just saying he likes spending time with you. He’s saying you’re a big part of his happiness. 

3) He asks about the times you weren’t together

Once you’re together again, does he ask about how you were while you were away from each other?

This may sound a bit prying, but hear me out:

One sign he really loves you is when he asks about your morning, afternoon or day.

His wanting to know what happened to you and around you during the times you were apart just shows how he is interested in your life.

More importantly, him wanting to know how you felt throughout those events should be enough to convince you that he genuinely cares about you.

On that note, here’s a valuable reminder from Dr. Whitbourne:

For a strong relationship, couples need to keep talking and sharing openly, not just rely on romantic feelings.

4) He gives you the benefit of the doubt

Does he want to have a sense of where you are at any given time? 

No, not the controlling type. Not the man who demands you to update him each time you move to another location.

We’re talking about simply having an idea of where you’ll be today or where you’re meant to be tomorrow. 

Dr. Whitbourne backs this up with research suggesting that successful long-term relationships want this sense of knowing.

But she emphasizes this isn’t about not trusting you. She points out it’s simply him caring about your well-being and feeling involved in your life.

The same is true when you come home late and he doesn’t question where you’ve been or he doesn’t snoop through your phone – that’s the kind of trust that shows he really cares.

5) He respects your views, even if it’s different to his

Do you know what a complementary relationship is? 

According to Dr. Whitbourne, it’s when you and your partner remain happy together even if your views and opinions are on opposite sides of the pole.

If we go by this, one way of knowing if he loves you more than you think is when you can openly discuss your views without him going into dismissive or defensive mode. 

I remember when my husband and I were cheering for opposing presidential candidates. 

Although there were times when the discussions became intense, we didn’t allow our political stances to draw a wedge between us.

And that’s not all. We also belong to different religions, which we both still practice (together and separately) to this day. 

His openness to our differences is just one of the signs I knew that my man truly loved me.

6) He makes you his priority 

Another huge sign that a guy really loves you is when he makes you his priority – no ifs, buts and ors. 

In fact, Dr. Bernstein quotes his colleague as saying, “When a man values and loves you, you know you are high up on his list of priorities.”

So when he plans his time around you or considers your needs and feelings in his decisions, it’s his way of saying you’re really special to him. 

In short, when you’re his priority, he clearly loves you more than you might think. 

7) He includes you in his decisions

Speaking of decisions, he also asks for your opinion when making one.

Dr. Whitbourne says this covers everything from everyday choices like where to eat for dinner to the life-changing decisions like taking on a mortgage for a new home.

Consider it a big deal when he includes you in his decisions because it shows all of these things:

  1. He really loves you.
  2. He respects and values what you think.
  3. He sees you as a partner.
  4. He cares deeply about your happiness together.

8) Your happiness is his happiness

Dr. Bernstein supports by saying when he really loves you, he will “avoid doing things that make you unhappy”.

Think about it:

There’s something incredibly telling when he’s as happy about your joys as you are. 

It’s a clear sign of deep love

By celebrating your happiness, he’s showing that your emotions impact him directly. 

This kind of empathy and shared joy doesn’t just happen. It comes from a place of genuine love and a desire to see you thrive. 

When your good news is his good news, it’s a real indicator that he holds your heart with care.

9) He is affectionate

When interpreting this sign, take into consideration the love language of your man. 

Some people are very affectionate in public, while others prefer to show their love privately. 

But here’s the thing: 

Neither approach is a greater expression of love than the other. 

Both are heartfelt ways of showing affection.

And here’s the kicker:

Believe it or not, Dr Whitbourne says, “couples don’t have to engage in frequent sex, or even any sex at all, to be emotionally intimate.”

That said, don’t ignore the subtlest of his love languages. 

It could be a soft kiss on your forehead, a gentle squeeze of your hand, a supportive pat on the back, or a loving glance.

All of these are expressions of his genuine affection for you.

10) He makes you feel good about yourself

It’s easy to be happy when you’re happy.

The challenge comes when you’re at a low point and your self-esteem crumbles. 

So what will a man who truly loves you do when you need a pick-me-up?

Be your number one cheerleader, of course!

According to Dr. Whitbourne, you know your man truly cares for you if he makes an effort to boost your self-confidence

It’s simple, really:

A man that really loves you makes sure you remember how great you truly are.

11) His ego is your friend, not your enemy

When a man really loves you, his ego often takes a backseat to your happiness and well-being. 

Dr. Bernstein explains that instead of using his ego as a shield to guard his own feelings or a sword to battle with yours, a man transforms it into a supportive friend for your relationship. 

This means he’s more open to compromise and doesn’t need to always be right. He listens to your concerns without immediately getting defensive. 

And if you think about it, this shift shows that he values the relationship more than his need to prove himself. 

It’s not about his image or winning arguments anymore. It’s about both of you moving forward together, happily and healthily.

Value the small stuff

Sometimes we miss the little ways he shows his love because we’re looking for something big and flashy. 

But the truth is, love is often in the details – like him asking about your day or getting a kick out of making you happy. 

These are big signs he really cares, so don’t just brush them off.

Appreciate them for what they are, because it means he’s really into this relationship for the long haul.

Struggling to Love Yourself? This Quiz Reveals Why and Shows You How

Do you sometimes feel unworthy, flawed, or not good enough? Like you’ll never measure up no matter how hard you try?

Most of us grapple with self-doubt and low self-esteem at times. And when we don’t love ourselves, it permeates everything – our relationships, our work, our inner peace.

But why is self-acceptance so hard? And how can we move from self-judgment to self-love?

That’s what this illuminating quiz dives into. It’s designed to uncover the specific barriers holding you back from embracing who you really are.

In just a few minutes, you’ll gain priceless insight into:

  • The root insecurities driving your self-criticism
  • How past emotional wounds shaped your self-perception
  • Ways you unconsciously sabotage your happiness

With this valuable self-knowledge, you’ll be equipped to start the healing process and develop true self-love.

Stop feeling plagued by not being enough. Take the quiz now to pinpoint what’s distorting your self-image so you can reclaim your sense of self-worth.

The first step is bringing awareness to the problem. The solution will follow.

Take the quiz now.

 

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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