7 signs a man hasn’t changed, he’s just putting on an act

You know, that moment when you’re convinced that your man has finally turned over a new leaf.

That he’s swapped his old ways for new, more mature habits.

But then, a little voice in the back of your head whispers, “What if he’s just putting on an act?”

Because let’s face it. Sometimes, people don’t change.

They simply become better actors.

In this article, I’ll be sharing 7 telling signs that the man in your life hasn’t really changed – he’s just gotten good at pretending.

Stay tuned. This could save you a lot of future heartache.

1) His actions don’t match his words

How often have you heard the phrase, “Actions speak louder than words?”

Well, it’s a cliché for a reason.

When it comes to change, words are easy. They’re cheap.

Anyone can say they’ve changed. But actions? Now, that’s an entirely different story.

Watch out for inconsistencies between what he says and what he does.

If he promises to be more considerate but still forgets your birthday, or swears he’ll stop being so controlling but still questions your every move, chances are he hasn’t truly changed.

Genuine change manifests in consistent actions – not just pretty words.

2) He reverts to old habits when under pressure

Let me share a personal story with you.

A few years ago, I was seeing this guy who had a habit of shutting down whenever we had disagreements.

He’d become distant, unresponsive – it was like trying to talk to a brick wall.

He promised he’d work on it. That he’d learn to communicate better, even when things got tough.

And for a while, it seemed like he really had.

But then, life threw us a curveball.

We were both under enormous stress – job issues, family drama, you name it.

And guess what? His old habit of shutting down resurfaced in full force.

That’s when I realized – true change can withstand pressure.

If someone reverts to their old ways the moment things get tough, they haven’t genuinely changed.

They’ve just temporarily adjusted their behavior.

3) He still doesn’t take responsibility

Let’s dive into another personal tale from my gallery of past relationships.

I once dated this guy who would always place the blame on others.

It was never his fault. If we fought, it was because I was ‘too sensitive’ or ‘misunderstanding him’.

He never owned up to his mistakes.

And then, he promised to change.

He apologized, saying he realized that everyone has their share in a conflict and that he’d start taking responsibility for his actions.

For a while, it felt like he was genuinely trying.

But then, an incident happened.

He forgot an important date – a date that meant a lot to me.

Naturally, I was upset.

Instead of taking responsibility, he quickly shifted the blame on his busy schedule, on his forgetful nature – on everything but himself.

That’s when it hit me – if a man still avoids taking responsibility for his actions and always finds someone or something else to blame, he hasn’t truly changed.

He’s just playing a part.

4) His apologies lack sincerity

An apology can be a powerful indication of change.

But here’s the catch – it has to be sincere.

If you notice that his apologies feel empty, like he’s just saying the words to placate you without any real remorse or intention to change, that’s a red flag.

A sincere apology involves acknowledging the mistake, expressing genuine remorse, and taking steps to avoid repeating the same mistake in the future.

If his apologies are always followed by the same old behavior, then he hasn’t really changed.

He’s simply learned the right words to say.

5) He’s not willing to make amends

Change isn’t just about recognizing and apologizing for past mistakes.

It’s also about making an effort to right those wrongs.

Interestingly, individuals who made amends for their wrongdoing experienced greater self-forgiveness and improved well-being.

Making amends isn’t always easy or comfortable.

It requires a level of humility and selflessness that not everyone possesses. But it’s a crucial step towards genuine change.

So if he’s not willing to take that step, it could be that he’s just putting on an act.

6) He doesn’t show empathy when it matters

I remember a time when I was going through a particularly tough period.

I was dealing with a lot of personal and professional stress, and I was emotionally drained.

The man I was with at the time knew about everything that was going on.

But instead of showing empathy, he seemed more focused on his own issues.

His lack of empathy left me feeling even more alone during a time when I needed support the most.

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

Being there in times of need, even if you have your own storm to weather.

Real change means growing in emotional maturity, and empathy is a big part of that.

7) He hasn’t changed his core values

At the end of the day, real change goes much deeper than surface habits or behaviors.

It’s about a shift in core values.

Our behaviors are a reflection of our values. If he values honesty, he’ll be honest.

If he values respect, he’ll be respectful.

His actions don’t align with the values he claims to hold?

Then chances are, he’s just putting on an act.

Final thoughts

You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your reactions to them.

Recognizing these signs is the first step towards understanding the situation.

It allows you to make informed decisions about whether or not to continue investing time and energy into the relationship.

Change isn’t just about modifying behaviors.

It goes deeper – it’s a shift in values, attitudes, and beliefs.

And that is something that can’t be faked for long.

Don’t let yourself be swayed by pretty words or fleeting changes in behavior.

Pay attention to actions, consistency, and the willingness to make amends and show empathy when it matters.

Your time and emotional investment are valuable.

Don’t settle for an act when you deserve genuine change.