6 types of people that aren’t worth keeping in touch with if you want to rewrite your story for the better

Let me ask you a blunt question: when was the last time you actually felt uplifted by all the people around you?

I’m not talking about surface-level small talk or exchanging polite nods in a crowded corridor. I’m talking about that distinct, invigorating feeling that only genuine, supportive relationships can give.

We often inherit a bunch of connections—old friends, schoolmates, distant relatives, random acquaintances—simply because they’re already there.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, we keep people in our lives out of habit or guilt when, in reality, they sabotage our chances of genuine growth.

I’ve fallen into that trap myself—trying to salvage a friendship that was clearly draining my emotional reserves or refusing to let go of someone who mocked my ambitions. And every time I held on longer than I should have, I realized it only slowed me down.

If you’re determined to rewrite your story for the better, you need to make room for the individuals who fuel your transformation, not those who drag you backward.

Below are six types of people you might want to remove from your contact list for good. It may be painful to read, but I promise you, there’s freedom on the other side.

1) The eternal victim

Have you ever spent time with someone who’s constantly lamenting their bad luck?

Nothing is ever their fault or responsibility: it’s “the system,” “the world,” or “fate.”

While external forces can indeed hammer us all at times, some people cling to a victim mindset as if it’s their core identity. They routinely refuse to acknowledge how they might be contributing to their predicaments.

I used to feel an odd compassion for people who wallowed in self-pity—I believed it was caring to stick around, hear them out, and try to help.

But I realized that if someone consistently refuses to own their choices, I’m just fueling their cycle of self-sabotage.

What makes eternal victims so draining is that they leave no space for your own struggles or insights; their pain is always bigger, more pressing, more dramatic.

Over time, their self-centered despair can infect your own mindset. Rewriting your story demands claiming your power—and you can’t do that if you’re weighed down by someone stuck in an endless loop of blame and martyrdom.

2) The relentless naysayer

“Words are never ‘only words’; they matter because they define the contours of what we can do.” Slavoj Žižek once said this, and it resonates particularly well with the relentless naysayer.

They’re those folks who scoff at your aspirations from the get-go, reminding you of every potential failure before you even take a step.

If you want to learn a new language, they’ll say it’s too hard and you’re bound to quit.

Thinking of starting a small business? They’ll tell you the economy is terrible and you don’t stand a chance.

Criticism can be healthy—if it’s constructive and done out of genuine concern. But a relentless naysayer thrives on your insecurities, on planting seeds of doubt at every opportunity. Their endless barrage of negativity can cripple your will to experiment, fail, and grow.

Trust me, when I finally distanced myself from people who insisted my dreams were a dead end, my creativity soared. You need a support system that challenges you to refine your plans, not a cluster of cynics who undermine your confidence at every turn.

3) The manipulative charmer

I know it’s tempting to keep “charming” people around just for the thrill of their presence or to avoid conflict. They’re outgoing, slick talkers, and experts at winning your affection—or at least, they seem that way.

But the manipulative charmer is a slippery character. They know exactly how to twist your feelings and steer you toward decisions that benefit them while leaving you off-center.

You might feel like you’re helping them out or showing kindness, but look carefully at the pattern: do you ever truly get anything back besides more demands and guilt-trips?

I once had a friend who popped up only when they needed something—money, connections, or a quick ego boost. When I questioned it, they’d reel me back in by flattering my generosity and painting themselves as an underdog.

But let’s be real: it was exploitative.

If you’re serious about writing a bold new chapter in your life, you need people who respect your energy. Manipulators will drain you dry and then blame you for not being there enough.

4) The sabotage artist

The sabotage artist isn’t as overt as the relentless naysayer. They might even applaud your efforts to change at first. But watch how they subtly undermine your progress by tempting you to ignore your new boundaries or revert to harmful habits.

If they notice you’re on a journey to a healthier lifestyle, they’ll invite you out for late-night drinks every weekend.

The moment you mention a plan to control your finances, they’ll insist you join them in an expensive vacation you can’t really afford.

In my experience, these people aren’t always malicious. They just can’t stand the idea of you growing beyond the comfort zone they share with you. Your ambitions make them feel insecure about staying stuck in their routines.

The result is that they unconsciously (or sometimes quite consciously) sabotage your path.

With sabotage artists, you’ll forever be on the defensive—constantly explaining yourself or justifying your discipline. But that wasted energy should be channeled into your mission.

If you want to move forward, you need to stop letting these people hook you back into old patterns.

5) The black hole of drama

Have you ever felt physically drained after hanging out with someone who just loves stirring up drama? They can’t stand peace for too long; it makes them restless.

They thrive on gossip, exaggeration, and heated confrontations. They’ll pit one friend against another, or suddenly blow up your phone with a meltdown over the tiniest slight.

Life is already challenging enough—adding needless drama is like welcoming chaos into your sacred space.

At The Vessel, we often talk about the importance of preserving your emotional resources for what truly matters: self-awareness, creativity, and building healthy connections. If your environment constantly tosses you around in the storms of someone else’s theatrics, it’s nearly impossible to focus on your personal path.

Drama black holes might amuse you on a dull afternoon, but in the long run, they rob you of the steady psychological ground you need to rebuild your story.

6) The nostalgic anchor

I’ve met plenty of nostalgic anchors in my life—the ones who cling to the past and resent you for changing.

They’ll drag out old jokes, old mistakes, or old versions of who you used to be, and treat them like they’re all you can ever be.

It’s as if your evolution is an inconvenience they’d rather pretend doesn’t exist. “You used to be so fun before you got serious about your goals,” or “Remember when you didn’t obsess about your health?”

At first, it might sound like a harmless stroll down memory lane, but it quickly morphs into a guilt-trip disguised as warmth.

I get it: the comfort of shared memories can be irresistible. But if people won’t allow you to evolve, it’s like they’re saying, “Your potential is invalid because I prefer you frozen in time.”

You’re not bound to the version of yourself that others have in their heads. If they can’t accept the new dimensions of who you are becoming, it’s a clear sign they’re not worth the weight they place on your progress.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the decision to cut ties—or at least set firm boundaries—is yours alone to make.

Nobody else can tell you who belongs in your next chapter, but I can say this: your emotional landscape is finite.

If you waste it on these draining, discouraging, or manipulative archetypes, you’ll have little left for the mentors, allies, and genuine friends who want to see you thrive.

It’s not about being cold-hearted or cruel. It’s about facing the fact that some connections decay over time, while others become a source of growth and inspiration.

Wherever you find yourself on this journey, keep in mind that you deserve an inner circle that supports your growth. Because life’s too short—and too magnificent—to be lived at the mercy of draining influences. Embrace your power, let go of the anchors, and get ready to write your best story yet.