I’ve watched people in their 80s and 90s split into two distinct camps.
There’s my neighbor who just started a YouTube channel at 87, learning video editing from her teenage granddaughter.
Then there’s someone else I know, same age, who refuses to try anything new because “that’s not how we did things in my day.”
The difference? It’s the mental patterns they’ve chosen to hold onto or let go of.
After turning 70 myself and spending decades teaching high school, I’ve noticed that people who stay mentally young share something crucial: They’ve ditched certain rigid ways of thinking that trap others in an “old” mindset, regardless of their actual age.
1) “I’m too old to change…”
Remember when we thought 30 was ancient?
Now here I am at 70, and I just started therapy last year.
When my therapist first asked me to identify what I was feeling, I sat there completely stumped and couldn’t name a single emotion beyond “fine” or “not fine.”
But you know what? That struggle taught me something vital.
The brain doesn’t have an expiration date for learning.
Sure, it might take me longer to memorize things than it did at 20, but the capacity to grow?
That’s still fully operational.
I recently picked up Rudá Iandê’s new book, Laughing in the Face of Chaos: A Politically Incorrect Shamanic Guide for Modern Life, and one line stopped me cold: “You have both the right and responsibility to explore and try until you know yourself deeply.”
That hit differently at 70 than it would have at 40.
The book inspired me to finally acknowledge that self-discovery might actually accelerate during retirement.
2) “Things were better in my day…”
Yes, we had real conversations without phones buzzing.
Yes, kids played outside until dark.
However, romanticizing the past is like wearing rose-colored glasses that blur your vision of today’s possibilities.
When I catch myself starting sentences with “Back when I was young,” I pause.
Were things really better, or just different?
My granddaughter can video-call me from college across the country, I can learn Spanish on an app while waiting at the doctor’s office, and my book club meets virtually when someone’s sick.
The past had its charms, but living there mentally? That’s a one-way ticket to irrelevance.
3) “I already know everything I need to know.”
This one’s sneaky because it disguises itself as wisdom.
After seven decades, shouldn’t I have things figured out?
But here’s what teaching teenagers for 30 years taught me: The moment you think you know it all is the moment you stop growing.
Those kids constantly challenged my assumptions, forced me to see things differently.
Now, learning technology to stay connected is humbling in the best way.
Every time I master a new app or figure out how to use a feature on my phone, I’m reminded that beginner’s mind isn’t about age. It’s about attitude.
4) “My best years are behind me…”
Who decided that anyway?
Sure, I can’t run a marathon like I might have at 30, but my emotional intelligence? Through the roof!
My ability to handle crisis? Rock solid.
My capacity for joy? Actually deeper than ever.
When I joined dance classes at the community center in my 60s on a complete whim, I discovered muscles I forgot I had; courage muscles, playfulness muscles, and the ability to look ridiculous and laugh about it muscles.
Reading Iandê’s insights about how “Your body is not just a vessel, but a sacred universe unto itself” reminded me that this aging body of mine is just shifting gears.
5) “Young people don’t understand real life.”
This rigid thought pattern creates walls where there could be bridges.
Yes, younger generations face different challenges, but dismissing their experiences as “not real” or “easier” cuts us off from fresh perspectives.
My granddaughter teaches me about climate anxiety, gender fluidity, and work-life balance in ways that expand my worldview.
In return, I share perspectives from decades of living.
It’s about exchanging wisdom across generations.
6) “I can’t relate to modern culture.”
Translation: “I’ve stopped trying.”
Modern culture is just the current chapter of the human story we’re all part of.
When I make the effort to understand why my grandkids love certain music or why people share their lives on social media, I’m staying connected to the world I’m still very much living in.
As Iandê puts it: “Real power lies in the ability to break free from our ideological bubbles and build bridges where others see walls.”
That applies whether you’re bridging political divides or generational ones.
7) “It’s too late to pursue dreams…”
Too late for what exactly?
Olympic gymnastics? Probably.
Writing that novel? Starting that nonprofit? Learning to paint?
The clock’s still ticking, which means there’s still time.
The most vibrant octogenarians I know are creating new bucket lists.
They understand what I’m only now grasping: Dreams don’t have expiration dates, but we do.
Which makes pursuing them now more urgent, not less possible.
Final thoughts
Here’s what I’ve learned at 70: Thinking young is about refusing to let rigid thought patterns calcify your mind before your time.
Every day, we choose.
We can cling to outdated mental scripts, or we can edit them, rewrite them, toss them out entirely.
The people thriving in their 80s and beyond? They’re the ones who keep choosing flexibility over rigidity, curiosity over certainty, and growth over stagnation.
The question is whether you’re brave enough to let go of the thought patterns that make you feel old, regardless of what your birth certificate says.
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