If you want your 70s to be some of the best years of your life, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

When I turned sixty-five last year, something interesting happened. Instead of feeling like I was winding down, I felt like I was gearing up for something completely different.

Maybe it was finally stepping away from the classroom after decades of teaching, or maybe it was watching my grown sons navigate their own life changes, but I started thinking seriously about what I wanted my seventies to look like.

Here’s what I realized: the habits and behaviors that served me well in my forties and fifties weren’t necessarily going to create the kind of fulfilling, vibrant decade I was envisioning ahead.

You know that saying about how you can’t solve today’s problems with yesterday’s thinking? Well, the same goes for life stages.

If you want your seventies to be some of the best years yet — and I genuinely believe they can be — it might be time to examine which behaviors are worth keeping and which ones need to go.

1. Staying stuck in old grudges

Ever notice how some people can recite every slight, every disappointment, every “they did me wrong” story from the past thirty years like it happened yesterday? I used to be one of those people.

There was this colleague of mine — let’s call her Janet — who undermined me during a particularly difficult school year back in the early 2000s.

For years afterward, I’d bring up “the Janet situation” whenever conversations turned to workplace politics. I’d replay those old hurts like a broken record, getting worked up all over again.

But here’s what I learned: carrying those grudges into your seventies is like packing rocks in your suitcase for a vacation. You’re just weighing yourself down for no good reason.

When you’re looking at potentially twenty or more years ahead of you, do you really want to spend that time rehearsing old injuries?

Those grudges take up mental space that could be filled with so much better things — new friendships, creative projects, experiences you’ve been putting off.

I’m not talking about major betrayals or serious harm here. Those situations might require professional help to work through. But those everyday disappointments, the people who let you down, the friends who drifted away during difficult times?

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it didn’t hurt. It just means choosing not to let those old stories define your present moments.

The relief is remarkable. It’s like finally setting down a heavy bag you didn’t realize you were still carrying.

2. Saying yes to everything out of obligation

Remember when saying no felt almost impossible? When every request — from volunteering at yet another committee to hosting holiday dinner for the twentieth year running — felt like a test of your character?

Your seventies are not the decade for martyrdom. This is when you get to be a little selfish — in the best possible way.

You’ve spent decades taking care of other people’s needs. You’ve raised your family, built your career, supported your community.

Now it’s time to ask yourself: what do I actually want to say yes to?

Your time is precious now. Spend it on things that light you up, not things that drain you dry.

3. Avoiding new technology like it’s the plague

I’ll be honest — for the longest time, I was that person who said things like “I don’t need to learn all this computer stuff” and “Why can’t people just pick up the phone anymore?”

But then something clicked when I retired. One evening, I watched my eight-year-old granddaughter video call her cousin in another state, showing off a drawing she’d made. They were laughing together, sharing this moment across hundreds of miles, and I realized I was missing out on something important.

I’m not saying you need to become a tech wizard or start posting selfies every day. But completely avoiding new technology is like voluntarily cutting yourself off from a huge part of how the world operates now.

Learning to use a smartphone opened up GPS navigation, which gave me confidence to drive places I’d never been before.

Figuring out video calling meant I could read bedtime stories to my grandkids when I couldn’t visit in person.

Even basic online shopping saved me countless trips during the pandemic.

The key is starting small and focusing on what actually improves your life. You don’t need every app or gadget, but staying curious about new tools can genuinely expand your world.

4. Complaining about how things used to be better

You know what I’m talking about. The constant refrain of “back in my day” followed by a litany of everything that’s wrong with the world now.

Music was better, people were more polite, food tasted better, children were more respectful — the whole nine yards.

Look, some things genuinely were different when we were younger. I’m not suggesting we pretend otherwise or that everything about modern life is wonderful.

But there’s a difference between occasionally noting changes and turning nostalgia into a full-time hobby.

When you spend your energy focused on how much better everything used to be, you miss what’s good about right now. And trust me, there’s plenty that’s good about right now.

Medical advances mean we’re living longer, healthier lives than previous generations. I can connect with old friends from across the country with a few clicks. My local library has resources I couldn’t have dreamed of thirty years ago.

The world has always been changing, and every generation has had to adapt. Making peace with change — even when some of it feels uncomfortable — is so much more freeing than constantly fighting against the current.

Your seventies can be about discovering what’s possible now, not mourning what’s gone.

5. Keeping toxic relationships out of guilt

There comes a point when you have to ask yourself: why am I still making time for people who consistently make me feel worse about myself?

Your seventies are too precious to waste on people who drain your energy or make you feel small.

This doesn’t mean cutting off everyone who’s going through a rough patch or who occasionally needs extra support. We all have seasons when we’re not at our best.

I’m talking about the relationships where you find yourself dreading their calls, where you feel emotionally wrung out after spending time together, where nothing you do is ever quite good enough.

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do — for both of you — is to step back and let that relationship fade to a comfortable distance.

6. Refusing to ask for help when you need it

Pride is a funny thing. It can motivate you to accomplish amazing things, but it can also trap you in situations that make life unnecessarily difficult.

I spent my entire career being the person others came to for help. Students with problems, colleagues who needed advice, friends going through tough times — I was always ready with solutions and support.

So when I started struggling with things myself, asking for help felt like admitting defeat.

There’s wisdom in recognizing what you don’t know and finding people who do. Whether it’s hiring someone to help with yard work, asking a tech-savvy friend to explain something, or getting professional advice about financial planning — accepting help isn’t weakness.

It’s actually pretty smart resource management.

Your seventies are not the time to prove how tough and self-sufficient you are. They’re the time to build a life that works well for you, and sometimes that means admitting you could use a hand.

The people who care about you want to help. Let them.

7. Living like your best years are behind you

This might be the most important one.

I see it all the time — people who talk about their seventies like they’re the waiting room before the end. Like the adventure part of life is over and now it’s just about managing decline and playing it safe.

What a waste.

The mindset that your best years are behind you becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you assume nothing exciting will happen, you stop looking for opportunities. You stop trying new things. You stop believing change is possible.

But when you approach your seventies with curiosity and openness — when you assume there are still discoveries ahead — that’s when the magic happens.

Some of the most inspiring people I know didn’t hit their stride until their later decades.

Grandma Moses didn’t start painting seriously until her seventies.

Laura Ingalls Wilder published her first Little House book at sixty-five.

My own neighbor started learning piano at seventy-two and now plays at our community center events.

You can use your seventies not to wind down, but to decide what you want the next chapter to look like.

Maybe you want to travel to places you’ve always dreamed about. Maybe you want to learn something completely new. Maybe you want to volunteer for a cause that matters to you, or write those stories you’ve been thinking about, or reconnect with old passions you put aside during your busiest years.

The next chapter is really up to you. 

Ready for your seventies?

The thing about letting go of behaviors that no longer serve you is that it creates space for the ones that do.

Your seventies don’t have to look like anyone else’s version of aging. They get to be uniquely yours.

The behaviors we’ve talked about — the grudges, the people-pleasing, the resistance to change — they made sense at different points in our lives. But holding onto them now is like wearing a coat that no longer fits. It’s uncomfortable, restrictive, and completely unnecessary.

What would your seventies look like if you approached them with curiosity instead of resignation? If you focused on what you want to create rather than what you think you should endure?

That’s not just wishful thinking. That’s a choice you get to make every single day.