9 phrases naturally empathetic people use to show they truly care

You know those conversations that just make you feel truly heard, seen, and understood?

You leave feeling far less alone, and instead like someone has cracked through a tough outer shell and made it through to your core.

Well, chances are, you were given the blessing of speaking to someone who has a very empathetic nature.

These individuals have a unique knack for connecting with others on a deep level, and their words often reflect their extraordinary ability to empathize.

Speaking with them or having an empathetic person at your side can do so much to provide clarity and understanding, even when it comes to sifting through our own minds.

In addition, there is lots to be learned from this unique skill. After all, how much more candid would our conversations be if everyone employed the same empathetic tactics?

As there’s always room to improve, let’s delve in and explore 9 phrases naturally empathetic people use to show they truly care. 

Who knows – maybe you already far more empathetic than you think:

1) “I understand how you feel”

We’ve all been in a situation where we’re struggling to articulate our emotions, and feel a little like we’re out on a tiny boat alone at sea.

And then someone steps in and throws a lifeline by saying, “I understand how you feel.” 

Suddenly, the world feels a little less overwhelming.

This is one of those phrases that empathetic people often use to step in with you and stand side by side.

They have an uncanny ability to put themselves in another person’s shoes, absolutely understanding their feelings and emotions.

And for these people, this is more than merely a phrase offered for support. They genuinely, wholeheartedly mean it and are there to provide emotional support.

2) “You’re not alone in this”

Feeling isolated in our experiences can be one of the most debilitating aspects of going through a tough time.

That’s where a simple statement such as “you’re not alone in this” goes a long way in breaking them free from this isolation and showing them that they’re not as alone as they feel.

Empathetic people understand the power of these words and use them to comfort others.

They instinctively recognize when someone feels isolated and step in to assure them that they are far from alone.

By something along these lines, they provide a sense of solidarity, and a comforting hand reaching out to say, “I’m here with you.” Breaking someone free from isolation can do wonders in terms of freeing their minds and helping them cope.

3) “How can I support you?”

When you go to someone to vent or for a shoulder to lean on, you tend to be offered one of two things. 

Either, 1) they try to tell you what you should’ve said, what you can say next, and otherwise attempt to advise on the situation.

Or, 2) they offer out an umbrella of comfort and support by asking, “How can I support you?”.

Through this, they’re not attempting to micromanage the situation nor merely offering a casual helping hand. They are extending full and genuine willingness to be of help to you, and allowing you to dictate what comes next.

This phrase is a demonstration of their active engagement in understanding and meeting your needs. It goes beyond mere sympathizing or trying to pass judgment, into the realm of empathizing yet allowing you to ask for what you need.

You might be more used to the first example and might be surprised the next time someone asks, “How can I support you?”. 

But know that it’s their way of saying, “I want to help you in the best way possible”. Through this, they’re not just expressing concern but actively seeking ways to make your situation better.

4) “Take all the time you need”

In a world that’s always rushed and on the move, taking the time to slow down and process our emotions is often overlooked. 

However, wrongly so; showing someone in need that you are ready to carve out the time to support them is a huge comforter. Empathetic people understand the importance of this and often express their readiness to give you breadth and patience needed. 

This is not an offhand comment, and not to be overlooked; it’s a sincere acknowledgment that healing and understanding take time, and they’re willing to give you what you need. 

When empathetic people say something along these lines, they’re expressing their willingness to be there for you – no matter how long you need. 

They’re telling you that it’s okay to take your time, that there’s no rush when it comes to dealing with your emotions.

5) “I’m here for you”

Simplistic, yet absolutely powerful, the phrase “I’m here for you” sits in the foundations of the most empathetic communication. 

This one isn’t about solving problems or giving advice; it’s about providing a comforting presence and emotional support. 

Which, if you’re not really looking for problem-solving, will go a lot further than having someone try to dictate your next steps.

When empathetic people say, “I’m here for you,” they mean it wholeheartedly. They’re expressing their commitment to be there for you, to lend an ear when you need to vent, or to simply sit in silence with you when words fail.

6) “It’s okay to feel this way”

In times of emotional distress when our thoughts are racing and our heads are all over the place, we often need validation more than advice. 

This is where empathetic people step in with the comforting words, “It’s okay to feel this way.”

By saying this, they’re validating your emotions, acknowledging that your feelings are legitimate and important. They understand that every emotion has its place and that it’s alright to feel what you’re feeling – even if you’re a little distressed at present.

They’re essentially saying, “Your feelings are valid”, and even though every emotion is valid, being verbally affirmed and validated can do great good in terms of reassuring you that it’s okay to feel the way you do.

7) “Tell me more about it”

When trying to confide in someone, one of the most pleasant things they can do is to show genuine interest in the conversation.

This one works fantastically to offer out a branch of support by encouraging the speaker to keep going. To share more details, more feelings. This phrase is an open invitation for you to express yourself more fully and deeply, and can do wonders for someone who is struggling to speak up. 

And this isn’t just about being polite or making conversation; it’s about actively seeking to understand your feelings and experiences. 

8) “I appreciate your honesty”

When struggling to confide in someone, or to tell someone the full and honest truth, this phrase can go a long way in not just making you feel understood, but also safe.

It reassures the speaker that opening up about their feelings or struggles is not only accepted but also appreciated. It showed them the power of vulnerability and the strength that lies in honesty.

Honesty can be difficult to express. As much focus we put upon truth being the best way forwards, it sometimes can feel a little brutal actually being truthful. 

Hence why someone acknowledging your courage in being so open and vulnerable works to create such a safe space in which you can continue to open up.

9) “Let me share a similar experience…”

This one can swing one of two ways. Some people find that to empathize with someone struggling, the best thing they can do is to offer up a shared experience to show you that you’re not alone.

However, if you’re trying to talk and vent about your own issues, you might not want the conversation to be steered to the other person. It can almost make it feel as if they’re trying to one-up you, and dominate the conversation.

Still, this is a phrase and tactic typically used by people who are empathetic by nature, to pull you out of feeling isolated.

My partner’s ADHD leads him to use this one a fair bit. Initially I fell hard into the second category and found it a little off putting when I was trying to vent about my own struggles and he circumnavigated the conversation to (in my eyes), make it about himself.

But he explained to me that this was his attempt to show support and signal that he had been through something similar, and thus was standing beside me in my suffering. Not making it about himself.

So use the last one wisely. You can always refer back to point 3 first and ask them “how can I support you?”, before offering up a similar experience so that they don’t feel as if you’re trying to shift the spotlight onto yourself.