10 phrases manipulative people use to control their partner in a relationship

We all crave healthy relationships, don’t we?

But sometimes, you think: things aren’t as rosy as they seem.

Sometimes, being in a relationship can feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells — like your partner always knows exactly what to say to make you feel guilty, doubt yourself or just comply.

But if that sounds familiar, that’s not normal.

Trust me, you’re not imagining things — you’re being manipulated.

Manipulation is more common in relationships than you might think. And it’s often subtle, buried under layers of sweet words and seemingly caring behaviors.

But don’t worry. You’re not alone in this.

Today, let’s shed some light on this dark corner of relationships. We’ll take a closer look at some phrases manipulative people often use to control their partners.

Remember, my intention is not to scare you or make you paranoid about your relationship. Rather, I want to equip you with the knowledge to recognize manipulation when it happens.

So, shall we begin?

1) “You’re too sensitive.”

Picture this – you’re upset about something your partner did or said. You gather the courage to bring it up, and they respond with, “You’re too sensitive.” In an instant, your valid feelings are dismissed, and you start questioning whether you’re overreacting.

This phrase — that I’ve heard a lot in my own past relationships — is a classic manipulation tactic, aimed to make you doubt your own feelings and reactions.

But here’s the thing: your feelings are yours. If something hurts you, it’s not because you are ‘too’ anything. It’s because that something is not okay for you.

2) “If you loved me, you would…”

This one’s a doozy. And yes, I’ve had it thrown at me too.

It’s a guilt-tripping phrase meant to make you feel obliged to do something out of ‘love’. If you’ve heard this one before, chances are your partner was trying to manipulate you into doing something they wanted.

For example – “If you loved me, you wouldn’t go out with your friends tonight.” This phrase isn’t about love at all; it’s about control.

Remember, love should never come with conditions or ultimatums. You should be free to live your life without constantly having to prove your love.

3) “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

On the surface, this might seem like an apology. But in reality, it’s a subtle way to evade responsibility.

The person isn’t actually apologizing for their actions or acknowledging that they did something wrong. Instead, they’re subtly shifting the blame onto you, making it seem as if your feelings are the problem, not their actions.

In fact, this phrase is indicative of narcissism. They often struggle with empathy and find it difficult to genuinely apologize for their actions. It’s yet another sign to be wary of.

4) “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

This phrase might sound romantic, even flattering. It seems to speak of a deep love and dependency. However, when used repeatedly and in the wrong context, it can be a form of emotional manipulation.

At its core, this phrase is designed to make you feel indispensable and guilty at the thought of ever leaving. It’s a way to keep you tied to the relationship, even when things are not going well.

There’s something incredibly powerful about feeling needed, about being someone’s rock. But in a healthy relationship, this should be a shared sentiment, not a chain that keeps you bound in an unhealthy situation.

Remember, your worth is not measured by how much someone else needs you. You’re valuable just as you are.

5) “I was just joking.”

It’s a phrase manipulative people often use to cover up hurtful comments. They’ll say something that stings, and when you react, they’ll quickly follow up with, “I was just joking.”

And I know how much it hurts, because I personally have heard it more times than I can count.

I remember one instance where a former partner made a harsh comment about my appearance. When I expressed my hurt, they brushed it off with a laugh and said they were only joking.

It took me some time to realize that this wasn’t humor; it was a thinly veiled attempt to undermine my self-esteem.

Look, a joke should make everyone involved laugh, not just the person telling it.

If it’s at the expense of someone else’s feelings, it’s not a joke; it’s manipulation. When this happens, remember to trust your feelings and stand your ground. You deserve respect at all times, even in jest.

6) “No one else would put up with you.”

This is a particularly cruel phrase that manipulative people use to make you feel unlovable, unwanted, and grateful that they’re sticking around. It’s designed to lower your self-esteem and make you feel like you should be thankful that they’re in your life.

But here’s the truth: Everyone has quirks and flaws. We all stumble and make mistakes. That doesn’t make us unlovable or hard to tolerate. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.

7) “You’re just like…”

Comparisons are another tool manipulators use to belittle you and control your behavior. They might compare you unfavorably to an ex, a friend, or even a fictional character. It’s a way of saying that you’re not good enough, that you need to change to meet their standards.

But remember this: You are unique, with your own strengths and weaknesses. You don’t need to be like anyone else.

8) “You made me do it.”

This one’s a classic blame-shifting tactic. Manipulators rarely take responsibility for their actions; instead, they blame their behavior on others.

No one can force someone to act in a certain way. Each of us is responsible for our actions, regardless of the circumstances.

9) “If only you would…”

This phrase is designed to make you feel inadequate or flawed. The manipulator uses it to suggest that if only you changed this or did that, everything would be perfect.

Don’t fall for it. You are not responsible for someone else’s happiness or the success of the relationship alone.

10) “I can’t live without you.”

This phrase can be a red flag for emotional blackmail, especially when it’s used repeatedly or in response to arguments or discussions about breaking up.

If your partner frequently says they can’t live without you, it might seem flattering at first, but it can quickly become a heavy burden. It’s a way of making you feel responsible for their wellbeing, which is unfair and manipulative.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these phrases is the first step towards breaking free from manipulation. Always trust your feelings and instincts. And remember, you deserve respect, love, and honesty in a relationship.