People who settle down in a relationship because they feel pressured to do so usually display these 7 behaviors
This might seem like a bizarre concept to some.
Why on earth would anyone settle down (and make such a huge commitment) when they’re not totally sure?
Well, family pressure is a powerful thing and it happens more than you think.
Maybe it’s even happened to you?
Whether it’s your enthusiastic parents wanting a grandchild or because all your close friends are tying the knot (and encouraging you to do the same) it’s a terrible reason to get hitched.
A recent study showed that divorce rates increase by a whopping 50% when couples are pressured into marriage.
It’s not always obvious either.
Your significant other might be all smiles on the surface, but under the hood, they could be secretly feeling pressured, trapped, and hesitant.
If you suspect something isn’t quite right, here are seven behaviors to look out for.
They’re usually big giveaways that someone has been pressured into settling down.
1) Can’t stop comparing
You’ve probably heard the expression: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
In other words, no good comes from constantly comparing yourself (or your relationship) to others.
It’s a telltale sign that something isn’t right.
Think about it.
When someone can’t help looking at other relationships it shows they’re not entirely satisfied with their own.
Maybe they have a fear of missing out. They wonder if they’d be happier with someone more attractive, emotional, funny, or intelligent than the person they’re currently with.
Put it this way.
When someone is totally smitten with their partner, they’ll seldom look elsewhere and ask these what-if questions.
True love means completely embracing your significant other (and all their flaws).
2) Crave attention from others
Attention-seeking behavior reveals a lot about how someone really feels.
I’m not talking about attention from their partner, but rather from friends, family, and even strangers outside of the relationship.
Look at it as a cry for help.
When their emotional needs aren’t being met within the relationship, they look elsewhere.
Anything from having deep and meaningful conversations to physical affection.
People who have been pressured into relationships can feel like their partners don’t understand them. They’re too ashamed or worried to broach the subject due to fear of hurting them.
Basically, they need someone else to talk to.
In extreme cases, they can be reluctant to return home. Fabricating stories or creating situations where they have to stay elsewhere for the night.
3) Seek external validation
Along with attention-seeking behavior, they may also be constantly on the hunt for validation or approval.
After all, if they have doubts, they’ll naturally want reassurance from others.
They need to know that they’re doing the right thing.
One example is fishing for compliments (about their partner). They’ll say things like: “He’s got a great job, that’s important right?” or “I think she’s amazing, what do you think of her?”
It puts the other person in a tricky situation and it’s hard to get a truly sincere answer.
They’re setting up their friends to tell them exactly what they need to hear (rather than give an honest assessment).
Seeking external validation is a slamdunk sign of insecurity.
If you notice this behavior in your partner, it could mean they feel pressured to settle down.
4) Uninterested in physical intimacy
Things might be great at first.
Lust is a powerful emotion.
But after a while, bedroom activities can grind to a halt.
While it’s completely normal for things to slow down over time, you have to remember one thing.
Physical intimacy is largely mental. If someone’s head isn’t in the right place, it reveals itself in those intimate moments.
Perhaps they make the classic “I’ve got a headache.” excuse. Or just say: “Not tonight, I’m not in the mood.”
Constantly giving you the cold shoulder could mean they feel pressured. Not just with intimacy, but with the whole relationship.
5) Struggle to share
When we truly find the one, we imagine being with them for the rest of our lives.
We’re happy to share everything. We’re almost blinded by love and can’t see anything ever tearing us apart.
Now the flip side.
When you’ve got those niggling doubts (because you’ve been pressured into settling down), sharing doesn’t come so naturally.
I’m talking about getting a joint bank account to share your life savings, moving in together to share your home, and sharing all your most precious possessions.
There might be some resistance. Some hesitation.
It’s not just material things that they’re reluctant to share either…
6) Distance their friends and family
If you notice your partner isn’t super keen for you to spend time (and get to know) important people in their lives, it might be because they’re unsure of the situation.
Let’s face it. Break-ups are messy at the best of times.
But especially when you’ve built strong connections with the in-laws.
This fear is what drives a reluctance to properly introduce you to everyone.
It’s pretty normal in the early stages of a relationship. But after a while, they should feel more comfortable letting you into their social circle.
If this moment never happens, it’s a sign they have perpetual doubt.
7) Disrespectful
Last, but not least.
Respect is the foundation for a happy, thriving relationship.
Without it, you may as well start waving a big red flag that says: “I don’t care.”
Don’t get me wrong.
I understand that no relationship is perfect. We all argue, conflict happens, and emotions flare. But as long as we maintain respect for one another, we can work things out.
They say that you need to put effort into a relationship for it to work.
A big part of this is respecting each other’s opinions, beliefs, ideas, and feelings.
Whether it’s just the two of you, or you’re at a party with a group of friends, constantly undermining your partner isn’t a good sign.
It shows you’re not that bothered.
Maybe because (you’ve guessed it) you’ve been pressured into a relationship that deep-down you’re not happy with.
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