One of the most endearing traits of people high in empathy is they often don’t realize they possess this wonderful gift.
Sure, they recognize and understand what people around them are feeling quickly but it goes way beyond that.
They also subconsciously embrace certain practices that make the people around them feel acknowledged, understood, and accepted. And usually, they’re not even aware they’re doing it.
Below are 7 behaviors that genuinely empathetic people often display without even realizing it.
Let’s dive in.
1) They validate peoples’ feelings
Genuinely empathetic people have this knack for making you feel seen and heard. It’s one of the most powerful things you can do for someone. It’s like saying “I see you and your feelings matter”.
Most people jump in with advice or suggestions when really all you want is to feel heard. Emotional validation like this comes naturally to highly empathetic people, they provide this comfort without even thinking about it.
They offer reassuring words, letting you know your feelings are accepted and they create a safe space for you to share more if you want. They might say things like “This must be so tough, I’m here for you” and “I’m right here when you’re ready to talk”.
Even though they usually don’t even realize they’re doing it, providing support and comfort like this is a natural behavior of someone who’s genuinely empathetic.
2) They’re non-judgmental
One of the most daunting things about being vulnerable with someone is the fear of being judged, right?
You don’t have to be worried about this with genuinely empathetic people. They’ve got a way of putting you at ease and making sure that you don’t feel judged, ridiculed or criticized.
Listening without judgment is an instinct of empathetic people. They resist the urge to jump in and fix the problem. Instead, they know what you need at the moment is a safe space to express your feelings. And they provide that judgment-free zone without hesitation.
If your friends praise you for being their non-judgmental confidante, there’s a good chance you’re genuinely empathetic without even realizing it.
3) They pick up on subtle social cues
I realized that people with lots of empathy can pick up on even the most subtle social cues a few years back, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it at that moment.
I was at a wedding with a guy I was dating as my plus-one. As we approached our table for dinner, I noticed someone I recognized already sitting there. It was my ex. And things ended really badly.
I tried to play it cool and continued toward the table not knowing what else to do. I was freaking out on the inside. My extremely empathetic best friend was at the table, and instantly picking up on my discomfort, she asked me if I’d go to the bathroom with her. She knew I needed an out.
In the bathroom, she asked me “I saw that you were uncomfortable and needed a minute, what’s going on?”. I told her, we took a few deep breaths and devised a plan. I felt ten times better. I never appreciated her ability to pick up on subtle social cues more than in that moment.
Picking up on subtle social cues like this is something empathetic people do really well. They can read the situation, identify what you need, and then step in and make it happen without a scene. And the best part is they don’t even realize they’re doing it, it’s their natural reaction.
4) They’re deeply compassionate
Genuinely empathetic people are very often also deeply compassionate. The word compassion itself derives from Latin and means “to suffer together”.
To be empathetic is one thing, it’s the ability to understand the feelings of others and put yourself in their shoes. But compassion “is what happens when those feelings of empathy are accompanied by a desire to help”.
Compassion paired with empathy is a powerful combination as it means these people naturally treat others with kindness, offer to help without expectation of anything in return and show respect, forgiveness, and patience for those around them.
Do you feel for others, want to help, and stay patient and forgiving, even in tough times? If so, you might just be a genuinely empathetic and compassionate person without even realizing it.
5) They’re great listeners
Are you known amongst your friends and family as a great listener?
People who are genuinely empathetic tend to be great listeners because they’ve mastered the skill of active listening.
It’s more than just waiting for your turn to speak, it’s about being fully present and engaged in the conversation, seeking to truly understand the other person and the emotions behind their words.
As a great listener, you’re not interrupting, you’re asking open and thoughtful questions and showing you’re truly interested in understanding. This makes the speaker feel valued and respected.
Genuinely empathetic people are often naturally great listeners and most of the time it’s not a conscious effort, it’s just their natural way to communicate.
6) They see things from the perspective of others
Empathetic people are very good at understanding the views of others. Most of us are so caught up in our own perspectives that we find it almost impossible to view things through any other lens.
But not people with lots of empathy, they can set their own views aside and see things from another’s perspective.
My friend Evelyn is so great at this, it’s incredible. The other day I was venting about one of my work colleagues who had left me with a lot of work to do. I rashly accused them of being lazy. But Evelyn made me see, they had a lot going on and were probably super stressed.
By the time we’d finished talking, I realized their behavior had nothing to do with trying to burden me. They probably really needed me to help them out. I walked away with a new appreciation for their situation and it was all thanks to Evelyn’s empathy.
If you can see things from the perspective of others, like Evelyn, don’t take it for granted. It’s a superpower that few people possess.
7) They’re not afraid to show vulnerability
Brené Brown, renowned researcher, author, and speaker known for her work on vulnerability, courage, empathy, and shame says “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
People who are genuinely empathetic know that vulnerability is not weakness, it’s a sign of strength. Embracing vulnerability is essential for many reasons as it increases:
- Trust
- Intimacy
- Emotional expression
People who lead with empathy aren’t afraid to show vulnerability. They know that by doing so, they’re encouraging others to do the same. Vulnerability unlocks a new level of authenticity that allows people to be themselves in a way they’re not willing to show to many people.
If you’re naturally prone to show vulnerability where most others would shy away from it, it’s yet another sign that you’re probably genuinely empathetic without even realizing it.
Final thoughts
How many of these behaviors do you recognize in yourself? Or in your friends?
The truth is the behaviors that genuinely empathetic people display, even without realizing it are a true blessing to the people around them.
There’s no greater gift you can give to someone than to stand with them during their struggles, to make them feel seen and heard in their darkest hour, and to encourage them with love and support when even they don’t know what they need.
If you’re lucky enough to have someone like this in your life, appreciate them as they’re a rare gem. And if you have this ability, share it as a gift and never take it for granted.
Just launched: The Vessel’s Youtube Channel
Explore our first video: The Brain Beneath Our Feet — a short-film by shaman Rudá Iandê that challenges where we believe intelligence comes from.
Instead of looking to the stars or machines, Rudá invites us to consider that the first great mind on Earth may have existed without a brain at all… and that the oldest form of thought might be living beneath our feet.
Watch Now:
