People who are good at small talk always use these 7 phrases

I’ll be honest: small talk has never been my cup of tea. The awkward pauses, the searching for common ground — it can feel like fumbling through a dense fog for me. 

Yet, I can’t help but admire those who glide through it with ease, those conversational magicians who can spark a connection with a few well-chosen words. 

I’ve watched these masters of chit-chat, curious to uncover their secret. 

And you know what? I’ve gathered a treasure trove of their go-to phrases, those little keys that unlock smooth, effortless banter. 

So, let’s dive into the art of small talk, one phrase at a time.

1) “How has your day been going?”

Opening with “How has your day been going?” is the small talk equivalent of a warm, welcoming smile. 

It’s a simple, open-ended question that shows genuine interest in the person’s experiences, but it’s light enough to be non-intrusive.

Whenever I’ve mustered the courage to try it out, I’ve been surprised at how this line can open doors to deeper conversation — or just be a pleasant exchange on its own. 

It’s the kind of question that says, “I’m here, I’m present, and I’m interested in your well-being.”

And more often than not, people are eager to share. Maybe they’ll share the mundane, the spilled coffee, or the lost keys. Or perhaps they’ll reveal a small victory, a project completed, or a moment of unexpected joy. 

Each answer offers a thread to weave a richer conversation, one that might reveal shared interests, mutual friends, or overlapping life philosophies.

2) “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?”

In a world where we often brace for the next piece of bad news, asking someone “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?” is like handing them a mental highlighter to mark the good in their day. 

It’s a fun twist on the usual how-are-you’s, prompting the person to sift through their memories for something positive.

I’ve seen eyes light up in response to this question. It invites a narrative that’s inherently uplifting and, surprisingly, not as common in daily chatter as one might think. People are used to venting about the negatives; this flips the script.

The beauty of this question is that it sets an upbeat tone for the conversation right from the get-go. You’re laying a foundation of positivity, which can be quite contagious. 

Plus, the responses you get can be delightfully diverse — from the small triumphs of a stranger’s kindness to the big wins like a promotion or personal breakthrough. 

And as they share their joy, you’re not just making small talk anymore; you’re connecting on a more personal and joyful level. You get to know what delights them, what they value, and perhaps even what they aspire to. 

3) “I’ve heard that you’re interested in [topic]. What do you enjoy most about it?”

Imagine the scene: You’re at a gathering, clutching your drink, scanning the room when you’re introduced to someone. 

Instead of the standard pleasantries, you dive in with, “I’ve heard that you’re interested in [topic]. What do you enjoy most about it?” 

This phrase is like a key that unlocks a treasure chest of conversation. It shows that someone complimented their skills or you paid attention to earlier tidbits of conversation, which is usually very flattering.

When I’ve tried this approach, I’ve seen the other person’s enthusiasm bubble up to the surface. They’re given the spotlight to share their passion, their knowledge, or even their quirky hobby. 

And as they open up about their favorite subject, you get a glimpse into their world. What makes them tick, what they’re knowledgeable about, or what brings them joy.

The conversations that spring from this question can be incredibly varied and enlightening. You might learn about the intricacies of beekeeping, the challenges of marathon training, or the subtle art of Japanese tea ceremonies. 

It’s personal, it’s specific, and it can form the foundation of a truly engaging and memorable dialogue.

4) “That’s interesting. Can you tell me more about that?”

The trouble with small talk is that it’s easy to begin but hard to keep the conversational ball rolling. That’s where this phrase works wonders during chats that might otherwise have fizzled out. 

It’s the verbal equivalent of leaning in, eyes bright with curiosity, and everyone appreciates a good listener. 

I’ve found it works great in combination with the third phrase, but you can use it anytime an unusual or unique topic is mentioned. 

And this is where small talk transcends the small. It blossoms into an exchange of ideas, personal anecdotes, and experiences that might otherwise have stayed hidden. 

This question can turn a chat about the weather into a discussion about climate change, or a mention of a hobby into the story of a lifelong passion. (And both of these scenarios have personally happened to me!)

It’s about building a bridge from casual chit-chat to something more substantial.

Asking for more is a sign of respect for the speaker’s knowledge or experience. It encourages them to share more of themselves, and in my experience, they often do. 

It’s a moment of connection, a mutual understanding that what’s being said — and the person saying it — matters.

5) “I love your [item of clothing, accessory, etc.]. Where did you get it?”

There’s something inherently warm about this phrase; it’s like a compliment served with a side of curiosity. 

As someone who isn’t a natural at small talk, I’ve found that focusing on something as simple as a piece of clothing or an accessory can break the ice beautifully. 

It’s a testament to how observant you are and it makes the other person feel noticed in a sea of faces.

Inquiring about where they got it opens the door to a myriad of topics: personal style, shopping habits, or even the story behind the item. 

Perhaps it was a gift, which then leads to tales of friendship or travel, or it was a thrift shop find, sparking a conversation on hidden gems and second-hand treasures.

It’s more than just a question about material possessions; it’s a bridge to personal anecdotes and preferences. When I ask, “I love your scarf. Where did you get it?” 

I’m often rewarded with a smile and a story, and just like that, we’re no longer strangers making small talk, but two people sharing a moment of connection.

6) “I’m looking for a good book/movie/series to dive into. What do you recommend?”

This question is a true gold mine for conversation. It’s simple, but beneath the surface, it’s an invitation to peek into someone’s interests and tastes. 

Personally, whenever I’ve posed this question, it’s like hitting the “play” button on someone’s passion playlist. People love to share what moves them, and in turn, it gives you a glimpse into their world.

Asking for recommendations does more than just give you a new addition to your reading list or watchlist; it provides a springboard for a myriad of follow-up questions. 

Why did they choose that book? What genre does it fit into? Who are their favorite authors or directors? Each answer unfurls a new layer of the conversation.

The beauty of this query lies in its reciprocal nature. Not only do you gain insights into their preferences, but you also get the opportunity to share your own, creating a mutual exchange that can forge a connection based on common interests. 

Plus, there’s a bonus: you might just walk away with your next favorite read or binge-worthy show.

7) “Do you have any plans for the upcoming [holiday/season/event]?”

There’s something about upcoming celebrations or seasonal events that lights up a conversation. 

When you ask about someone’s plans for a holiday, a summer break, or even a local festival, you’re stepping into a realm of anticipation and excitement. This question works wonders because it taps into the joy of looking forward. 

Inquiring about future plans is a small window into what matters to someone. It reveals layers of a person’s life — maybe they’re a sun-chaser eager for beach days, a family-first person who treasures home gatherings, or an avid festival-goer who lives for the bustle of cultural events. 

What I find intriguing is how seamlessly this question unravels someone’s preferences and values. 

It sidesteps the need for direct personal queries, which can be too forward with new acquaintances. Instead, as they share their excitement about eco-friendly travel or their tradition of volunteering during the holidays, you subtly learn about their priorities and principles. 

This knowledge can enrich your understanding of them beyond the superficial chatter, providing depth to your conversation and connection.

Crafting connections through small talk

In conclusion, mastering small talk isn’t just about filling silence; it’s about opening doors to new worlds within each person we meet. 

These phrases are your keys. With each question, you’re not only sparking conversation but also laying the groundwork for meaningful relationships. 

Small talk, it turns out, can lead to big connections. 

So go ahead, try these phrases out in your next chat — you might be surprised at the depth you’ll find in those everyday exchanges.