10 non-obvious signs that someone is deeply in love with you

Real love isn’t always how it is in the movies.

Rather than grand declarations followed by happily ever afters, it’s usually a lot more humble than that.

It’s hidden in the somewhat mundane everyday that can all too often go overlooked.

How do you know if someone loves you deeply?

Here are some non-obvious signs to watch out for.

1) They do little things for you just to be thoughtful

When Valentine’s Day rolls around, I never expect a card or a dozen red roses from my partner.

I know he doesn’t go in for all that.

But I also know that it’s not a reflection of his feelings either. Because he shows his love in 1001 little ways every day.

He takes the dog out for a walk, even when it’s my turn. He brings home my favorite cookies. He lets me have the last slice of pizza. He is patient when I’m feeling irritable.

In isolation, these thoughtful acts can get overlooked. But they add up and paint a picture of devotion.

And that means more to me than any flashy display of affection once a year.

It shows me that he consistently considers me, and to me, that’s love.

2) They want to compromise more than they want to be right

Who doesn’t want to be right? Let’s be honest, we would all prefer to get our own way.

But when we care deeply about someone, harmony matters more to us than winning.

That’s not to say we won’t disagree or argue. It’s inevitable in any relationship at some point or another.

But it’s more about how you argue.

If someone can drop their ego for the sake of your relationship, it’s a sign of their love.

They don’t want to cajole you into backing down. Because their “defeat” doesn’t make them feel good.

If you’re not happy, they’re not happy either.

So they seek to find a compromise where both of you feel heard, understood, and like your feelings matter.

Of course, sometimes that means swallowing your pride.

3) They will swallow their pride and back down

They say that “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

What nonsense.

It’s quite the opposite.

If you love someone, you are prepared to drop selfish ways and consider the feelings of the person you care about.

It can be very hard for us to admit when we’ve got it wrong. It’s funny how apologies can all too often get stuck in our throats.

When you love someone deeply, you want to protect that love.

When we are incapable of saying sorry it does damage. And that’s not something we should be prepared to risk for the sake of foolish pride.

4) They’ll take a leap of faith for you

Love is a wonderful thing, but it can also be quite scary.

I do think that timing plays a part in love. It can be true that we meet the right person at the wrong time.

But ultimately when someone deeply loves you, all other excuses melt away.

They are prepared to stand on that edge and take a leap of faith with you.

They will work for the relationship because it is important to them.

If someone is prepared to leave their comfort zone and commit to your relationship, it’s a strong sign of their strength of feelings.

Because losing you just isn’t an option.

5) They are by your side day in and day out

I learned an important lesson growing up:

Love is being there.

You see, my dad has always struggled to show love in what may be considered the conventional way.

He’s never told me, or my mom for that matter, that he loves us. But he has shown us through consistency.

You see, words are nice, but as we all know, actions speak louder than them.

Being there come rain or shine speaks volumes.

At the end of the day, deep love is abiding. It’s not here today and then gone tomorrow.

6) They make you feel safe

All that consistency adds up.

It gives you a secure feeling when you are with them.

You’re not left guessing over the status of your relationship.

I don’t know about you, but pretty much every time I’ve been left unsure about how interested someone is in me, it’s for good reason.

Because if you question it, then there is usually something in their words or actions that is insufficient enough to allow you to feel safe.

You can’t relax because deep down you know you can’t rely on them, or the strength of their feeling for you.

That’s exactly why feeling comfortable and secure with someone is a sign of their love for you.

7) You see it in their eyes

The look of love is real.

It’s hard to pinpoint, but it shows up as a glint in the eyes.

Eye contact is powerful, and so it understandably can convey strong messages.

When someone who loves you stares into your eyes, you can just sense their depth of feeling.

It may seem like a vague gut feeling, but it’s more than that.

We are experts at reading each other’s subtle cues and body language. It’s that which you are picking up on.

I remember years ago before I broke up with an ex, my first clue that his feelings had changed was in the way he looked at me.

His eye contact no longer had that warm glow to it, and he just couldn’t fake it.

It reminds me of an old song by The Righteous Brothers, ‘You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’

‘You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips

And there’s no tenderness like before in your fingertips

You’re trying hard not to show it

But baby, baby I know it

You lost that lovin’ feelin’

We convey love in many ways, and one of those is the way our bodies speak to each other.

8) When you hurt, they hurt

We’re not talking about faux sympathy, it’s deep empathy.

They cannot stand to see you in pain. Watching you cry triggers something within them too.

Most of us when we see someone having a hard time will feel bad for them. But it doesn’t strike a chord on the same level as this.

Such is the strength of the bond they feel with you, your happiness feels intertwined with their own.

When they see your sadness, they feel your pain as if it were their own.

9) They respect your differences without trying to change you

Whilst it’s important to be compatible, as we said earlier, we’re not going to see eye to eye on everything.

Yet people are never renovation projects.

We cannot take them on thinking that once we’ve made a few tweaks here and there, they’ll be just how we want them to be.

That’s not love.

Deep love is knowing that your partner has faults and flaws, just like we all do, but loving them regardless.

It’s appreciating that they are their own person. That means they make decisions for themselves.

If you have found someone who accepts you for who you are, they love you deeply.

10) They choose you

What do I mean by this?

I mean that they make you a priority. Not just once, but over and over again.

Because love, just like committing to a person, is in part a choice.

We may think of it as a feeling that is either magically there or not. But it’s not so simple.

Love requires effort and work too.

It demands that we keep it near the top of our to-do list.

I say near and not at the top because it’s okay for priorities to shift. Sometimes other people and other things will be more pressing, and that certainly doesn’t mean you’re not loved.

But people who forget to make their partner a priority find that their love ends up suffering for it.

Final thoughts

The expression “falling in love” can be misleading. It suggests we don’t play a role in love. As if it is something that just happens to us.

Maybe that’s how it feels in the beginning. But deep and sustaining love is more about choosing someone every single day.

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