If someone shows these 6 behaviors, they’ve probably done deep inner work without telling you

We’ve all come across those people who seem enlightened – they’re blissfully joyful, emotionally intelligent, and astonishingly composed.

We can’t help but wonder… how did they become like this?

Now, don’t get me wrong. Sure, some people naturally radiate positivity. And that’s great.

But what if I told you that the radiant glow you’re noticing is not just innate, but the result of something deeper?

You see, when someone displays certain behaviors like emotional balance, mindfulness, or extraordinary awareness, it is a glaring sign of deep inner work — a journey that is often hidden from the world.

Ready to find out what these behaviors are? Let’s dive into these six enlightening behaviors that may signify someone has ventured into a personal voyage of introspection and self-improvement.

Fasten your seatbelts.

It’s always thrilling to decode the inner workings of individuals around us.

And who knows, you might even recognize these qualities within yourself.

1) They’re emotionally balanced

Here’s the first thing you might notice.

Ever met people who maintain their cool, even in situations that would normally drive others up the wall?

I’m talking emotional poise here.

Those people who don’t let their emotions master them – but instead, master their emotions.

It’s impressive, right?

Well, emotional balance is a telling sign of inner work.

Coming to terms with one’s faults, taming emotional eruptions and finding equilibrium from within. That is a rewarding byproduct of mindfulness coaching, therapy, or other self-exploration strategies.

Such individuals don’t just realize that their feelings are valid, they understand how to deliberately acknowledge them, addressing the situation at hand productively.

So, the next time someone maintains their zen in the face of adversity – respect. They’ve done some serious inner work to get there.

2) They don’t shy away from difficult conversations

Let’s get personal here.

A few years ago, I met a friend, Alex, who had the uncanny ability to approach sensitive topics without flinching.

He always initiated difficult conversations – the very ones most of us prefer to evade dealing with, like finally addressing that long-standing elephant in the room.

Alex had a knack for it. He’d never treat these uncomfortable topics as a burden but would wear an understanding smile, acknowledging the vulnerability behind the conversation.

I found it puzzling initially, but realized this was no ordinary trait. Alex was comfortable being uncomfortable.

Honestly, it was liberating to be his friend, as it led to more honest and meaningful connections.

You see, willingness to address challenging discussions shows a level of emotional bravery that’s often linked to deep inner work.

Folks like Alex have faced their own emotional demons, learnt how to manage them, making them ready to comfortably navigate potentially painful interactions.

3) They possess a radical sense of self-awareness

Know that one person who seems to have an uncanny grasp on themselves and everything around them?

Yeah, I know them, too.

Let’s call her Lisa.

Lisa’s not a psychic – at least that I know of – but she just seems to perceive the intricacies of her surroundings in high-definition.

She always knows how she impacts her environment, and vice versa.

But here’s the key – Lisa wasn’t born this way. How can I be so sure? Well, she was my roommate during college, and trust me, she was a typical square peg in the round hole of life.

Cramming for exams at the last minute, struggling with identity issues, you name it, Lisa wrestled with the whole shebang.

We lost touch after graduation, and when I bumped into her a few years later, it was like meeting a completely different person.

She seemed so self-aware, so in tune with herself and those around her. Turns out, Lisa had undergone some transformative self-discovery, involving lots of meditation and self-reflection.

So folks, if you encounter someone wearing self-awareness as boldly as Lisa, guess what, they’ve probably taken some deep dives into the sea of self-improvement.

4) They’re emotionally intelligent

Let’s face it.

In this era of advancing technology and information at our fingertips, the real superheroes of society are the ones who possess something that machines can’t replicate— emotional intelligence.

It’s the ability to understand and manage our and others’ emotions.

I have this colleague, Sophie. Contrary to what people might think, she wasn’t the office’s top-performing wizard because of her technical expertise. No.

It was her incredible emotional intelligence.

Sophie understood how people felt and always knew the right thing to say. Her empathetic aura made it easy to trust her and be at ease. Even the most stressful work situations became manageable when she was around.

It’s more than just a talent. It’s an acquired skill. A skill developed over time, through introspection, practice, and in many cases, therapeutic guidance.

That’s right, you guessed it.

Sophie also journeyed her way towards understanding herself and thus, others. It’s likely that she delved deep into her psyche to unlock this enviable trait.

5) They’re comfortable with being alone

Ever met individuals who genuinely enjoy their own company?

Here’s the scoop.

According to psychologists, being comfortable with solitude is a healthy sign of emotional maturity, and of course, guess what… yep, inner work.

My neighbor, Jeremy, is a prime example.

Jeremy happily lives alone. He’s never bored, he’s always dabbling in some form of introspective exploration – be it reading, painting, or simply watching the sun go down.

While some people fear solitude, seeing it as a state of loneliness, Jeremy viewed it differently. He cherished these moments of solitude. He found that it allowed him to connect with his thoughts and feelings.

Jeremy once shared – Solitude isn’t about being lonely, it’s about being present.

True that, Jeremy.

So, if you find people who find comfort in their own company, without the constant need for social engagement, it’s a clear sign they’ve spent considerable time in self-discovery.

It’s not about being an introvert or an extrovert, but about embracing alone time as a moment for touching base with the self. Quite commendable, isn’t it?

6) They practice conscious living

Because, here’s the deal.

At the end of the day, the individuals who have undergone deep inner work are not floating around in oblivion.

They practice conscious living.

Living every moment with awareness, being present in the now, acknowledging emotions and experiences with mindfulness.

The art of conscious living emanates authentic transformation.

Like Maya, who traded her fast-paced life to find serenity by the countryside, cultivating organic vegetables.

Maya channeled her life energy into living consciously, thoroughly grounded in reality, yet tasting the sweetness of simplicity.

Conscious living, my friend, is not an overnight miracle…No. It’s a part of a long and dedicated process of self-discovery and mindfulness.

So, when you bump into someone living consciously, savoring each iota of existence, know they have embraced deep inner work in their life’s journey.

Take heart and inspiration from their journey, maybe even consider how you can incorporate some of these actions into your own life. It’s worth it, after all.

Reflections and takeaways

As you journey through this life, you’ve surely met people who exhibit these remarkable signs. They inspire us, fluctuating between familiar and extraordinary.

The striking thing is, this journey is not exclusive. It’s open to anyone who chooses the path of self-discovery.

And here lies the real nugget of wisdom.

If you resonate with these signs and behaviors, rejoice! You’re already on the path of valuable inner work. On the other hand, if these traits sound foreign or overwhelming, worry not.

Embrace the curiosity.

Journeys are meant for stepping forward, not for hurrying to an end. The joy is in the ‘becoming’, rather than the ‘become’.

Remember, every step towards understanding yourself a little better, every tiny win over an old pattern, each moment of mindfulness celebrated – all mark progress.

So whether you identify with these signs or aspire to, know this – the journey of inner work is less about the destination, and more about transformation.

Take a moment to appreciate those around you who portray such qualities, and maybe take a leaf out of their book along your journey. After all, inner work is the truest labor of love.

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Feel like you’ve done the inner work—but still feel off?

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Una Quinn

Una is a retired educator and lifelong advocate for personal growth and emotional well-being. After decades of teaching English and counseling teens, she now writes about life’s transitions, relationships, and self-discovery. When she’s not blogging, Una enjoys volunteering in local literacy programs and sharing stories at her book club.

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