7 subtle signs your adult children deeply appreciate you, even if they rarely say it out loud

My mom used to say, “Actions speak louder than words.”

Isn’t that the truth? We all want to feel appreciated, especially by our children.

Yet, as they grow into adulthood, their expressions of love and gratitude may become less overt.

It’s frustrating, isn’t it? But here’s the scoop: You might be missing the subtle signs that your grown-up kids are showing their deep appreciation for you.

They may not be saying it out loud, but their actions could be speaking volumes.

If you ever find yourself asking, “Do my adult children appreciate me?” stick around.

We’re about to dive into the seven subtle signs that your adult children deeply appreciate you, even if they rarely say it out loud.

1) They keep in touch

Ever noticed how your adult child calls or texts you regularly?

Here’s what you may not realize: This is a subtle way of showing their appreciation for you.

Yes, you heard it right.

When they keep you in the loop, whether it’s about a job promotion, a cooking disaster, or simply their weekend plans, it’s because they value your presence in their lives.

The next time your phone rings or buzzes with a message from them, remember—this is one of those subtle signs that they deeply appreciate you.

2) They ask for your advice

Ever had this happen to you?

Just last week, my adult daughter called me, sounding a bit flustered.

She had a major decision to make about her career and felt overwhelmed.

“I just don’t know what to do, Mom,” she confessed.

“What do you think I should do?”

In that moment, I realized something important.

When your adult child comes to you seeking advice, it’s not because they can’t make decisions on their own.

It’s because they appreciate and value your wisdom and experience.

Don’t mistake their questions for dependency.

Instead, see it as a sign of their deep appreciation for your guidance and support.

3) They replicate your habits

Here’s something that might surprise you: Last Christmas, I watched my son meticulously wrap gifts for his nieces and nephews.

I couldn’t help but notice how he folded the edges just as I had done for his gifts when he was a child.

In that moment, it dawned on me.

Our adult children often replicate our habits, not merely out of habit, but as a silent nod of appreciation for the things we’ve taught them.

It’s their way of acknowledging that they value the lessons learned from us.

The next time you catch your adult child doing something ‘just like you’, take a moment to appreciate this silent homage.

It’s a subtle yet profound sign of their deep appreciation for you.

4) They share their vulnerabilities 

Our adult children have their own lives, their own battles, and their own vulnerabilities.

Sometimes, they choose to share these with us.

Why, you ask? Because they trust us.

They value our support and our understanding.

It’s a tacit acknowledgment that they appreciate us being there for them through thick and thin.

When your adult child opens up about their fears or insecurities, understand this – it’s a subtle yet significant sign of their deep appreciation for you.

5) They make time for you

Time is a precious commodity in today’s fast-paced world.

When your adult children carve out time from their busy schedules to spend with you, it’s more than just a family obligation.

It’s their way of saying, “You matter to us.”

Quality time is one of the most effective ways to express love and appreciation.

Whether it’s a weekend visit, a scheduled video call, or even a quick coffee catch-up, take it as a subtle sign of their deep appreciation for you.

6) They remember the little things

Do you recall that apple pie recipe you shared with your daughter years ago, or that old song you used to hum to your son when he was a child?

Guess what: When your adult children remember these little things, it’s not just nostalgia at play.

It’s their way of saying, “We cherish the memories we’ve made with you.”

The next time they bring up a random memory from the past or use one of your cherished recipes, know that it’s their subtle way of showing their deep appreciation for the love and care you’ve provided over the years.

7) They pass on your values

The most profound sign of all? When your adult children pass on your values to the next generation.

When you see them teaching their kids the same principles you taught them, it’s about honoring the values they’ve grown up with.

It’s their way of saying, “We appreciate what you’ve taught us so much, we want to pass it on.”

This is perhaps the subtlest yet most significant sign of their deep appreciation for you.

Final thoughts

Feeling appreciated by our adult children can sometimes be like trying to read a book in dim light.

It’s there, but it’s not always clear.

But take heart—tis is about understanding that their expressions of appreciation have evolved.

They’re more subtle, more nuanced.

If you’ve seen these signs in your adult children, take a moment to cherish it.

Their actions are speaking louder than words, echoing their love and deep appreciation for you.

Your influence and your love have shaped them into who they are today, and that’s something to be incredibly proud of.

In the end, it’s about knowing, in the depths of your heart, that you’ve made a lasting impact on their lives – one they appreciate more than they express.

As you reflect on these subtle signs, take a moment to appreciate yourself too—for all the love, guidance, and support you’ve given over the years.

You’ve done well and they see it, even if they don’t always say it out loud.