What if your anxiety is actually your body rejecting the life you were told to want?

Anxiety isn’t just nerves over a big meeting or the weight of a towering to-do list. Sometimes, it’s a rebellion—a deep, physiological roar against what society insists you should do, believe, or want. The question is: Are you listening?

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve felt anxiety climb up my spine when I try to squeeze myself into some expected mold.

I’ve encountered that same sense of suffocation in countless people I’ve worked with over the years. It’s as if our bodies send out red alerts to protest the mismatch between our authentic self and the life we’re sold as “normal.”

But normal by whose standards? Let’s dig into this. It’s a delicate topic that many of us tiptoe around, but I believe it’s exactly in these uncomfortable discussions that we find the seeds of genuine change.

Below, I want to share some points that have helped me (and many others) recognize the real roots of anxiety. My hope is that you’ll begin to see your restlessness as an ally rather than a flaw—a signal that leads you to a truer life, not just a headache to medicate away.

A silent rebellion in your bones

Anxiety isn’t always about chemical imbalances or random panic attacks out of nowhere.

Sometimes, it’s your bones rattling at the lies you’ve been fed since childhood.

I’ve trekked through dense forests around the world, learning to read signs in nature—footprints, wind patterns, subtle signals that predict storms.

Our bodies work similarly: they warn us when we’re walking the wrong path. We might feel a knot in our stomach when we force ourselves into situations that contradict our deeper values. We might sweat and shake when we pretend to be someone we aren’t.

It’s a silent protest, our cells screaming, “Hey, I don’t want this. Let’s get out!”

If you’ve ever had that crawling feeling under your skin at a corporate job you despise, or found yourself inexplicably suffocated by a “perfect” relationship that’s actually hollow, you know what I’m talking about. We keep telling ourselves to “act normal,” but your body can’t lie.

As Alan Watts once said, “Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.” I believe our bodies suffer when we buy into illusions that don’t serve us. Anxiety becomes the alarm that tries, time and again, to wake us from our trance.

The cost of chasing illusions

Whether it’s the glossy Instagram perfection or the never-ending quest for a bigger paycheck, we’re inundated by illusions of how our lives “should” look.

We chase these illusions because everyone else is doing it, right?

But the cost can be devastating.

At first, you might just feel that nagging sense of emptiness.

You might think you’re just lazy or unambitious when you’re unable to muster enthusiasm for the latest status symbol. But maybe you’re just reacting to the absurdity of wanting things you don’t really want—of holding yourself to standards that don’t resonate with your soul.

When I was exploring new landscapes and immersing myself in other cultures, I encountered people who lived happily on a fraction of what most Western societies consider essential. Their priorities and definitions of success were radically different—and so was their mental health.

Most strikingly, I didn’t sense that underlying anxiety that I see so often in big cities. The pressures of “having it all” simply weren’t there, replaced instead by a communal sense of enough.

In modern industrial culture, “enough” is a term that rarely sees the light of day.

There’s always something else to buy or some new rung to climb. Before you know it, you’re locked into a lifestyle that generates money for corporations but hollows you out from within. And if you happen to feel anxious, well, it must be your own failing, right?

Wrong.

Often, it’s the system’s illusions grinding your soul into dust.

How the system got into your head

You’re bombarded daily with powerful messages about who you should be: proud taxpayer, diligent employee, perfect spouse, tireless parent, and so on.

School might have taught you to prioritize competition over creativity.

Pop culture might have convinced you that success equals a massive house and a sleek car.

The system—be it capitalism, outdated religious dogmas, or rigid cultural norms—makes it feel like compliance is the only rational choice. It’s subtle. It hides behind corporate ads, social media filters, family traditions, and even well-intentioned friends.

You absorb it, often without noticing, until one day your stomach clenches at the thought of going to work, or your eyes ache whenever you scroll past yet another “influencer” promoting magical solutions to problems you didn’t even know you had.

It reminds me of a line from Slavoj Žižek: “The task of philosophy is not to provide answers, but to show how the way we perceive a problem can be part of the problem itself.” We can’t fix anxiety if we keep treating it like a glitch in our minds. Sometimes, it’s our entire perception of success or happiness that needs an overhaul.

We don’t have to demonize society or paint ourselves as mere victims. Instead, we can see that some structures no longer serve our well-being. Then we can take action to reclaim the steering wheel of our lives.

Breaking free from the illusions

I’ve often found that the most liberating experiences come from shedding layers—dogmas, assumptions, old paradigms.

That’s when we realize we’re not as stuck as we believed. Anxiety might persist, but instead of being a torment, it can transform into a guiding compass.

Have you ever asked yourself: “Do I really want what I say I want?” It might sound like a naive question.

But let it sink in.

Because if you’re chasing goals that someone else planted in your head—get the job title, get the dream partner, buy the fancy house—then your anxiety might be telling you to re-evaluate.

Here at The Vessel, we’re big on encouraging people to face these tough questions.

It’s not always pretty. Sometimes it means confronting loved ones, pivoting careers, or letting go of long-held beliefs. But if that’s the price of genuine freedom—of reclaiming your authentic path—would you hesitate?

One thing that’s helped many of us is a short, free training I created called the Free Your Mind masterclass. It’s not about giving you five steps to nirvana. It’s about untangling the thick vines of cultural conditioning so you can see your core desires clearly. If you feel drawn to it, you can check it out.

No pushy sales pitch here.

Just an invitation to dig deeper into the root causes of your restlessness.

You are not broken

Let’s demolish one insidious myth: that anxiety is purely a sign of weakness or brokenness.

Too often, society frames it as a medical condition that must be smothered with quick fixes or success strategies. But that can reduce us to cogs in a machine, ignoring the powerful message behind our anxiety.

It hurts me to see how many people waste years blaming themselves. I’ve been there.

Thinking that a restless spirit meant I was flawed or ungrateful.

Over time, I recognized it as the hunger for something authentic, for a life not stifled by prepackaged expectations.

We are not machines meant to produce output at maximum efficiency.

We’re creative beings, unpredictable and wildly unique. Sometimes our anxiety arises from stifled creativity, from emotional truths we’re scared to express, from relationships that feel like performance art. Instead of labeling ourselves “broken,” how about we embrace the signals and investigate the deeper call?

Making peace with your wild side

Embracing the “wild” part of yourself means saying yes to spontaneity, curiosity, and a willingness to challenge the rigid frameworks we’ve inherited. It doesn’t demand you drop everything and run off into the mountains. (Though if that calls to you, I certainly won’t stop you.)

It does mean tapping into the part of you that wants more than a well-groomed façade. That side that longs for experiences that stir your heart—be it painting, hiking, volunteering for a cause that ignites your passion, or building something with your own two hands.

Anxiety often turns into excitement when it’s channeled through meaningful pursuits.

A historical perspective helps. For centuries, cultures around the world took anxiety as a sign from the spirit realm, or from nature, that one was living out of harmony. In a way, that viewpoint can be extremely empowering: it teaches us to treat anxiety as a teacher instead of an affliction.

Rather than doping it up or shutting it down, we ask, “What are you trying to tell me?” And once we decode its message, we can transform our lives.

In closing

I know it can be daunting to challenge the life you were told to want.

But I’ve seen countless people do it—quietly, bravely—and emerge stronger and more grounded. If you feel that tightness in your chest, or that dull ache of restlessness, consider the possibility that you’re not at war with yourself. You might be rebelling against a life that was never really yours.

Instead of running from the discomfort, turn toward it.

Let your anxiety speak.

Ask yourself if you’re living someone else’s dream—or if you’re forging your own. Question the job, the routine, the beliefs, the rigid roles you’ve been handed. Because when your body revolts, it’s not out of cruelty or failure.

It’s an alert that something truer is calling.

If you feel drawn to dive deeper into unraveling the beliefs that weigh you down, you might explore my Free Your Mind masterclass as mentioned earlier. It’s a free resource where we examine the ways our minds get trapped in dogma and how to reconnect with that pure, bold part of ourselves—beyond the rules we’ve been told to follow.