8 things boomer parents normalized that Gen-Z see as major red flags

I remember chatting with a younger cousin who was perplexed that her father never once said, “I’m proud of you,” even after she graduated with honors.

She shrugged it off, but it struck me as a moment that highlights a generational gap.

Some of the habits that Baby Boomer parents considered normal are now being called into question by Gen-Z, who tend to be more vocal about issues such as mental health, emotional well-being, and personal boundaries.

If you’ve noticed these differences or wondered why Gen-Z raises an eyebrow at certain “old-school” attitudes, you’re not alone.

Below, I’ll explore eight behaviors that Boomer parents often normalized—behaviors Gen-Z increasingly see as serious red flags.

1. Downplaying mental health concerns

For many Boomers, mental health was rarely discussed openly.

Seeking therapy or counseling carried a stigma, and the attitude was often, “Tough it out and keep going.”

But Gen-Z approaches mental health with more transparency and less shame.

Studies show Gen-Z is the most likely generation to seek therapy and talk openly about mental health.

From my perspective, this shift is refreshing.

I’ve practiced yoga and mindfulness for years, and I’ve seen firsthand how acknowledging our inner states can be transformative.

Still, many Boomers grew up believing that silent resilience was a virtue.

When parents neglect discussions about anxiety, depression, or burnout, younger people may feel misunderstood and isolated.

There’s a growing recognition that emotional struggles need validation.

Simply pretending they don’t exist can do more harm than good.

2. Equating respect with complete obedience

Boomer parents often expected an unspoken contract: children should obey without question.

Gen-Z tends to see respect as a two-way street.

This doesn’t mean younger folks don’t value manners or decency.

They just want their own voices heard.

In a piece from the Harvard Business Review related to leadership styles, collaborative decision-making often yields better results than top-down mandates.

It’s no surprise that the same logic applies to parenting.

If there’s never a conversation—only lectures—children can feel powerless.

They may grow up believing their opinions aren’t valid.

Gen-Z challenges this by asking: “Why can’t families have open discussions where everyone’s perspective is taken into account?”

3. Dismissing privacy rights

Some Boomer parents normalized reading their kids’ diaries or letters, tapping into phone calls, or rummaging through belongings “for their own good.”

While concerns about safety are valid, constant monitoring risks violating trust.

Research shows that children who have a reasonable degree of privacy and independence tend to develop stronger problem-solving skills.

They also learn to set healthy boundaries as adults.

Imagine growing up without ever feeling that your space is your own.

It can create an undercurrent of anxiety.

This dynamic also ties into technology, where parents might demand passwords or track locations.

But Gen-Z, who practically grew up online, argue that boundaries shouldn’t be erased simply because a parent wants absolute control.

4. Overemphasizing “grit” at the expense of emotional well-being

Many Boomer parents encouraged children to “power through” no matter what.

While resilience is admirable, Gen-Z views this unrelenting push as a potential hazard, particularly if it ignores warning signs of physical or mental stress.

I learned a version of this lesson during my transition to a minimalist lifestyle.

I used to take on every project, believing that unending hustle was the only way.

Eventually, I realized that stopping to rest or reflect isn’t weakness.

It’s self-care.

As Brené Brown once noted, “We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.”

Over-glorifying “hard work” can turn toxic if it means neglecting emotional or physical health.

Gen-Z tends to counterbalance that approach by setting boundaries, talking openly about stress, and rejecting the idea that working until burnout is normal.

5. Normalizing strict gender roles

A common Boomer-era assumption was that men and women should follow certain predefined paths.

Men were expected to be the breadwinners, women the caretakers.

Gen-Z is pushing back against these stereotypes, championing more fluid roles both at home and in the workplace.

I’ve seen this shift in my own marriage.

My husband and I chose not to have children, and we split household responsibilities based on interest and skill rather than outdated notions of gender.

For instance, he enjoys cooking, and I find decluttering calming—so we swapped tasks without any fuss.

In some families, though, you still hear remarks like “That’s a woman’s job,” which sound archaic to younger generations.

The younger crowd sees these labels as restrictive, limiting each person’s ability to explore what they truly enjoy or excel at.

6. Sweeping conflict under the rug

Emotional honesty wasn’t a strong suit for many Boomer parents.

Difficult topics such as addiction, infidelity, or financial strain sometimes got buried under a facade of “Everything’s fine.”

Gen-Z questions why certain problems should stay hidden when open communication might bring relief or solutions.

They’ve witnessed the toll that unresolved issues take on mental health.

I recall reading about how repressed emotions can manifest in anxiety and physical symptoms, and that resonates with my yoga community’s emphasis on internal alignment.

Avoiding conflict might have felt easier to Boomer parents, but it often results in bigger breakdowns later.

Gen-Z would rather address problems directly, believing that short-term discomfort might lead to long-term well-being.

7. Brushing off children’s voices

One phrase I used to hear from adults was, “Children should be seen and not heard.”

It left little room for kids to express needs or feelings.

Gen-Z sees a red flag here, recognizing that invalidating a child’s perspective can carry lifelong repercussions.

This includes:

• When children’s emotions are dismissed, they may learn to question their worth or reality.
• Offering a safe space for opinions fosters self-esteem and better communication.
• Validating a child’s experiences helps them develop empathy and compassion for others.

The Gen-Z attitude says there’s a better way to raise kids than pretending their viewpoints don’t matter.

Open dialogue is key, whether it’s discussing bullying at school or excitement over a new hobby.

8. Over-reliance on public image

When I was young, I sometimes heard lines like “What will the neighbors think?”—as if the ultimate goal was to maintain a spotless reputation.

For many Boomers, community standards held immense weight.

Gen-Z, on the other hand, values authenticity over appearances.

This doesn’t mean younger people don’t care about community.

They simply resist shaping their entire lives around external validation.

In my own journey, adopting a minimalist mindset helped me step back from trying to impress others with status or achievements.

Gen-Z approaches social media in a similar way: they might curate aesthetics, but they’re quick to call out performative acts that lack genuine substance.

Worrying excessively about “keeping up appearances” often comes at the cost of ignoring real problems.

If families prioritize looking perfect over being healthy, children might believe genuine connection is secondary to image management.

Final thoughts

We’re almost done, but this piece can’t be overlooked.

These eight points show us how quickly social norms can change and how each generation tends to adapt differently.

Gen-Z isn’t simply trying to rebel; they’re noticing the ways some Boomer parenting styles sideline emotional health, personal autonomy, and open communication.

Recognizing these red flags could be a call to reflect on our own choices, even if we’re not parents ourselves.

Maybe there’s a tendency to dismiss mental health or hide conflict in our day-to-day interactions.

We can take a cue from Gen-Z: question what doesn’t serve us, and be open to more empathetic, balanced ways of living.

If you find these differences frustrating or confusing, consider stepping back and looking at the bigger picture.

Boomer parents often did the best they could with the resources they had.

Yet younger generations are challenging some of those norms, encouraging conversations that might have been swept away decades ago.

Growth and reflection aren’t limited to one generation.

They’re universal.

Maybe you’ll notice a pattern in your own life that you’d like to shift.

If so, remember that it’s never too late to reconsider how we communicate, treat each other, and respect everyone’s dignity.