7 assertive phrases that make even insecure people feel confident, according to psychology

I once met a colleague who seemed to second-guess every word she spoke in meetings.

She’d lower her voice when she wanted to make a point, as if apologizing for her own opinion.

We talked about why she felt so hesitant, and her answer hit home: she truly believed her contributions didn’t carry as much weight as everyone else’s.

I’ve felt that sting of self-doubt, too, especially early in my career.

In those moments, I leaned on certain phrases—small but powerful sentences—that changed how I saw myself and how others saw me.

I’m sharing them here because each one taps into a core psychological principle tied to confidence and self-worth.

When we stand by our thoughts and needs with respect, we signal that we trust ourselves.

That trust becomes a cornerstone for confidence.

Below, I’ve gathered seven phrases that can help even the most uncertain voice sound self-assured.

1. “I appreciate your input, and here’s my perspective.”

There’s something freeing about telling someone you value what they said, then confidently offering your own view.

It invites collaboration without diminishing your stance.

This phrase works because it blends respect with assertiveness.

It’s not an attack on anyone else’s opinion.

It’s simply you, standing firm in your unique angle on the issue.

Studies suggest that when people acknowledge others’ viewpoints before sharing their own, it fosters healthier dialogue.

We’re more open to listening back and forth, reducing that friction of “Who’s right?” and “Who’s wrong?”

I occasionally use this phrase when brainstorming with my spouse.

We have a minimalist household, so we discuss purchases carefully.

If he suggests a new piece of décor, I might respond with “I appreciate your input, and here’s my perspective: I’d rather have fewer items but ones that hold real meaning for us.”

It keeps the mood open and invites discussion, all while making it clear that I have my own take.

2. “Thank you for waiting; I needed a moment to gather my thoughts.”

We live in a fast-paced world where silence feels uncomfortable, especially in meetings or group settings.

But short pauses can work wonders for our confidence.

By saying you needed a moment, you acknowledge that taking time to think isn’t weakness.

It’s actually an act of respect—both for yourself and for the quality of what you’ll say next.

As Brené Brown once noted, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”

Taking a quiet pause can be a vulnerable choice if you feel pressured to speak immediately.

But it also shows you’re intentional with your words rather than just talking to fill the silence.

Let’s not forget the benefits on a physiological level.

According to research, people who pause before responding are often seen as more thoughtful and deliberate.

That perception alone can bolster your sense of authority in any discussion.

3. “I’m not entirely comfortable with that, and I’d like to propose another approach.”

Saying you’re uncomfortable can sound daunting, especially if you’re prone to self-doubt.

But addressing that feeling with clarity takes the edge off.

I remember a situation where a client wanted to rush a project timeline, pushing for unrealistic deadlines.

At first, I felt a knot of anxiety because I hate disappointing people.

Yet I knew we risked quality issues if we didn’t speak up.

So I said, “I’m not entirely comfortable with that, and I’d like to propose another approach.”

That minor shift in language gave us room for honest negotiation.

The client recognized that my discomfort wasn’t a personal critique of them.

It was simply a boundary, and I was offering a middle ground.

Boundaries need to be voiced so we don’t carry resentment.

When you articulate what doesn’t sit well with you, you reinforce your self-trust.

4. “Let’s clarify what success looks like here.”

Clarity boosts confidence more than we sometimes realize.

When you define success, you set a shared vision.

It stops that swirling sense of doubt about whether everyone is on the same page.

In my writing career, I often ask this question when starting a new assignment: “Let’s clarify what success looks like here.”

It helps me align with editors or clients.

We talk about specifics—tone, word count, or deadlines—to remove the guesswork.

If you’re dealing with a personal goal, you can adapt this phrase by asking yourself what success looks like.

Is it maintaining a daily yoga routine?

Is it learning a new skill without overcommitting financially?

When the end point is clear, you’ll be less likely to question every step you take.

5. “I trust my ability to adapt if things change.”

Insecure thoughts often stem from fear of the unknown.

We worry that any unexpected shift in the plan will throw us off course.

This phrase does two things.

First, it acknowledges that change can happen at any time.

Second, it reminds you that you can handle it.

I recall reading something from Eckhart Tolle: “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.”

It’s a nudge to stay anchored in now, rather than spiraling about what might happen tomorrow.

When we trust our ability to adapt, we free ourselves from the grip of panic and self-doubt.

We also open the door to learning.

In yoga, for instance, I’ve had to adapt my poses due to a wrist issue.

But that adaptation taught me new ways to stretch and strengthen other parts of my body.

Here are some points I sometimes use to remind myself of adaptability:

  • Accept that change is inevitable, so prepare instead of panic.
  • Ask what lesson or opportunity might emerge from a shift.
  • Align your next steps with your immediate reality, not a hypothetical scenario.

These little reminders can turn a looming threat into a manageable challenge.

6. “I need a bit more information before I commit.”

Confidence doesn’t mean saying “yes” to everything.

It often means pausing long enough to ensure you’re informed.

Too many of us jump into commitments because we don’t want to appear indecisive.

But clarity first can save you from bigger issues down the line.

There was a time when I took on extra projects without knowing the full scope.

I ended up overworked and drained.

Eventually, I learned to voice this phrase: “I need a bit more information before I commit.”

It’s not rude.

It simply acknowledges that you value your time—and you want to do justice to whatever you take on.

Whether it’s a volunteer opportunity or a favor for a friend, asking for details is a sign of self-respect.

This approach shifts your mindset away from the fear of missing out and toward the desire to make meaningful choices.

7. “I stand by my choices and learn from them.”

This phrase grounds me more than any other.

It keeps me centered in the belief that decisions are rarely final judgments on our worth.

They’re stepping stones to the next phase of growth.

Life can surprise us.

My journey toward a minimalist lifestyle was a series of small steps—evaluating what I owned and how it served (or didn’t serve) my values.

Did I make some awkward purchases along the way?

Absolutely.

But learning from them made me more intentional.

As Enhnaced Wellness Living also points out, a growth mindset fosters resilience.

By treating each choice as a learning opportunity, we reduce the sting of mistakes and strengthen our overall confidence.

I sometimes share this phrase with friends who regret not pursuing certain passions sooner or feel stuck in a relationship that no longer aligns with their needs.

Standing by your choices doesn’t mean you’ll defend poor decisions forever—it just means you acknowledge them as part of your story.

Final thoughts

We’re almost done, but this piece can’t be overlooked: none of these phrases matter if you don’t genuinely believe you have the right to speak them.

Self-doubt can be sneaky, yet voicing even a single assertive statement can nudge you toward seeing your own strength.

My hope is that you’ll start using one or two of these lines when you feel that familiar hesitation.

They don’t guarantee instant transformation.

They do, however, create tiny moments of belief in yourself.

And over time, those moments stack up.

We can all learn to speak up for our needs.

We can all practice respecting ourselves even when our knees feel a bit shaky.

The more we show ourselves that we deserve to hold space in every conversation, the less fragile our confidence becomes.

Struggling to Love Yourself? This Quiz Reveals Why and Shows You How

Do you sometimes feel unworthy, flawed, or not good enough? Like you’ll never measure up no matter how hard you try?

Most of us grapple with self-doubt and low self-esteem at times. And when we don’t love ourselves, it permeates everything – our relationships, our work, our inner peace.

But why is self-acceptance so hard? And how can we move from self-judgment to self-love?

That’s what this illuminating quiz dives into. It’s designed to uncover the specific barriers holding you back from embracing who you really are.

In just a few minutes, you’ll gain priceless insight into:

  • The root insecurities driving your self-criticism
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With this valuable self-knowledge, you’ll be equipped to start the healing process and develop true self-love.

Stop feeling plagued by not being enough. Take the quiz now to pinpoint what’s distorting your self-image so you can reclaim your sense of self-worth.

The first step is bringing awareness to the problem. The solution will follow.

Take the quiz now.

 

Picture of Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase

Isabella Chase, a New York City native, writes about the complexities of modern life and relationships. Her articles draw from her experiences navigating the vibrant and diverse social landscape of the city. Isabella’s insights are about finding harmony in the chaos and building strong, authentic connections in a fast-paced world.

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