If you want your partner to feel safe and secure with you, say goodbye to these 9 habits

Creating a safe and secure relationship boils down to the choices we make.

It’s about recognizing that certain habits can really shake up your partner’s trust or make them feel uneasy.

Letting go of these habits can pave the way for a space where both of you can freely share your emotions and needs.

After witnessing plenty of healthy relationships within my circle, I’ve pinpointed 9 habits that can really impact how secure and safe your partner feels with you.

So, let’s dive in together and take a closer look at these habits, shall we?

1) Constant criticism

In the realm of relationships, one habit that can significantly undermine your partner’s sense of safety and security is constant criticism.

Criticism, especially when it’s relentless and unconstructive, can lead to feelings of resentment, inadequacy, and even fear.

It chips away at your partner’s self-esteem and makes them feel like they’re always walking on eggshells.

We all have our faults, and it’s essential to communicate when something bothers us.

However, there’s a massive difference between constructive feedback and constant nitpicking.

Trust me, nagging alone will never get your partner to change for the better.  

2) Lack of communication

Let me share a personal experience. I used to believe that if my partner truly knew me, they’d understand what I was feeling without me having to spell it out.

But that’s not how it works.

There was a time when I’d bottle up my feelings, thinking I was keeping the peace.

But in reality, I was only creating a distance between us.

My partner would feel left out, clueless about what I was going through, and I felt misunderstood.

Here’s the thing: Communication is the lifeline of any relationship.

It’s about sharing your thoughts, your feelings, your fears, and your dreams.

Without open and honest communication, it’s hard for your partner to feel safe and secure in the relationship. 

3) Ignoring their needs

Researchers found that individuals who perceived their partners as responsive to their needs reported higher relationship satisfaction.

When you ignore your partner’s needs, consciously or unconsciously, it can leave them feeling neglected and insecure.

They may start to question their worth in your eyes, and wonder if you truly value them.

Every person has unique needs in a relationship – it could be the need for affection, for space, or for support during tough times.

Paying attention to these needs and making an effort to fulfill them can significantly enhance your partner’s feelings of safety and security.

4) Breaking promises

Promises are like the invisible threads that hold the fabric of a relationship together.  

Whether it’s about doing the dishes or being there for them in a moment of crisis, when you promise something, your partner relies on you to keep your word.

When you don’t, it can make them question your reliability.

And when they find themselves constantly questioning your accountability, they’ll feel insecure and gradually lose interest.

Word to the wise: If you’re old enough to be in a relationship, act worthy of your maturity level.

If you’re not ready to make a promise, just don’t make it.   

5) Avoiding tough conversations

In every relationship, there are bound to be difficult topics and conversations that we’d rather avoid.

However, avoiding these conversations can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of trust.

When you avoid difficult conversations, your partner might feel like you’re not willing to deal with issues that matter to them.

It can create a sense of insecurity and make them question whether you’re fully invested in the relationship.

Remember, having these discussions may be difficult, but they are crucial for the health of your relationship.

6) Taking them for granted

When we’re in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to start taking our partner for granted.

We forget to express our gratitude for the little things they do, and sometimes, even for their mere presence in our lives.

But love is not just an emotion; it’s also an action.

It’s about reminding your partner that they’re valued and cherished.

When we forget to do this, our partners may feel overlooked and unappreciated.

This can lead to feelings of insecurity and uncertainty about your feelings towards them.

7) Lack of emotional support

There was a time when I thought the best way to support my partner was to offer solutions to their problems.

But I realized they didn’t always need a problem-solver; sometimes, they just needed me to listen and empathize.

Emotional support is about being there for your partner, not just physically but also emotionally.

It’s about understanding their feelings and letting them know that it’s okay to feel the way they do.

Put yourself in their shoes.

Imagine being in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner who never shows genuine interest in anything you say or do.

It will make you feel invalid and unimportant, right?  

8) Being overly possessive

Here’s the kicker: A relationship should be a safe space where both partners feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment or control.

While it’s natural to feel possessive about someone you love, being overly possessive can suffocate your partner and make them feel trapped.

An overly possessive attitude can make your partner feel like they’re constantly under scrutiny.

They might start to feel like they don’t have the freedom to be themselves, resulting in feelings of insecurity and discomfort.

9) Not making time for them

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to let our relationships take a back seat.

But when we don’t make time for our partners, it can lead them to feel neglected and insecure.

Your time is one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your partner.

It shows them that they are a priority in your life and that you value your relationship with them.

I’m not saying that you should sacrifice all your personal time or interests to make time for your partner.

It’s about striking a balance and ensuring that your partner knows they are important to you.

At the heart of it all: Love

Love is no picnic, my friend. Love may be a matter of the heart, but to stay in love is all about taking actions. 

Keeping your love alive means facing up to habits that aren’t doing us any favors.

It’s about having the guts to admit when something we’re doing is causing harm or distance.

Whether it’s ditching old insecurities, changing up how we talk to each other, or tackling those lingering issues head-on, it all takes a bit of courage. 

But here’s the thing: when we summon that bravery and start making those changes, that’s when the magic happens.

We open up new avenues for deeper connection and understanding, paving the way for a relationship that truly thrives.