If you want to be a more dependable person, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

I’ve strived to be a reliable and dependable person for the majority of my adult life.

Yet, as an adult who aspires to be dependable—and is constantly working on being more reliable—I find myself continually battling with certain behaviors that hinder my progress.

These battles often occur during instances when I make promises I can’t keep, or when I struggle to manage my time efficiently.

They occur in conversations with friends and colleagues, who subtly hint at my inconsistent tendencies, or even with family who gently question my reliability.

They even occur within myself, as I grapple internally with the desire to be more dependable and the behaviors that hold me back.

In the face of all these struggles, I sometimes wonder why it’s so challenging for me to let go of these behaviors.

This pressure often leads us to hold onto behaviors that prevent them from becoming more dependable.

But there is no shame in having flaws.

In fact, by recognizing them first, we’re able to start working towards improving them.

So how do you do this?

Well, you’re about to find out.

In this article, we’re going to identify several behaviors that we need to say goodbye to if we want to become more dependable people.

Let’s begin.

1) Not being punctual

“Punctuality” is often viewed as something that we either have or don’t have. But the reality is that punctuality is a reflection of our actions and choices.

Let me explain.

Consider your daily routine. Your alarm clock rings at the same time every morning. Your work starts at a set hour. Your favorite TV show airs at a specific time. These events occur on a schedule, independent of your actions.

If you’re going to be dependable, it’s essential to understand that being punctual is not about control, but about respect for other people’s time.

So let go of the illusion that punctuality is inherent and understand that it’s a habit that can be developed.

Your actions, not your thoughts or intentions, determine your punctuality. And these actions are most effective when they become habitual, when they happen without needing conscious thought.

2) Believing that you’re always right

This can be a challenging concept for many of us to grasp.

“Always being right” is a mindset that many of us unknowingly adopt. This belief, however, is not only incorrect but also detrimental to our growth and dependability.

Rather, being dependable comes from acknowledging that we’re not always right. It comes from being open to feedback and criticism. As the great philosopher Socrates once said:

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

Because when you insist on “always being right,” you give too much power to your ego. You stifle your ability to grow, to learn from your mistakes, and ultimately, to become more dependable.

Remember that being wrong is not a weakness; it’s an opportunity for growth and improvement. Saying goodbye to the need to always be right is another critical step towards becoming a more dependable person.

3) Being defensive

Defensiveness often emerges when we feel our character or decisions are being questioned.

But if you willingly place yourself in a defensive position each time you’re faced with criticism, you’re setting yourself up for conflict.

You may not realize it at first, but over time, you might find yourself constantly defending your actions and decisions.

You might even find yourself on the receiving end of that defensiveness. Few interpersonal relationships can withstand that kind of tension.

When this happens, it’s important to ask yourself about the role of defensiveness in your life.

Perhaps you’re being defensive because you feel your integrity is being challenged, and maybe it’s time to confront this behavior. It may be an indication that you need to develop more confidence in your decisions and actions.

4) Not listening attentively

I sometimes find myself wrapped up in my thoughts. I become consumed with forming the perfect response or solution.

My intentions are good. I aim to help or provide valuable input.

But when I’m so focused on my thoughts, I can slip into the habit of not truly listening to the person in front of me. I might miss crucial information or fail to acknowledge their feelings. I likely come across as dismissive or uncaring.

In short, not dependable. 

In the end, my good intentions don’t matter if my actions don’t really show them.

So when I stopped focusing solely on my intentions, I grew to be more able to reflect on my actions and change how I behave. I learned to quiet my mind and genuinely listen to the people in my life.

5) Being hesitant to commit

This is a personal struggle I’ve faced throughout my life.

Commitment, whether it’s to a task, a project, or even a relationship, always seemed like such a monumental decision. It felt as if once I committed to something, there was no turning back.

I remember when I was asked to lead a major project at work. The scope was vast, the stakes were high, and I hesitated. I was worried about the potential for failure, about letting my team down.

But as I reflected on my hesitation, I realized that my fear of commitment was holding me back. It wasn’t just about the project; it was about my willingness to step up and be dependable.

I decided then and there to say goodbye to my fear of commitment. I took on the project, worked diligently with my team, and yes, we faced challenges.

But we also experienced successes. And through it all, I discovered that commitment isn’t a trap—it’s an opportunity for growth and demonstration of dependability.

What I’m trying to say is that saying goodbye to fear of commitment opens doors for personal and professional growth. It allows us to prove our reliability to ourselves and others.

6) Procrastinating often

Dependability and procrastination are like oil and water—they just don’t mix. Procrastination is widely recognized as a major obstacle to productivity and reliability.

This understanding prompts us to analyze our tendency to delay tasks, to comprehend why we indulge in this behavior, and to overcome the habit that hampers our dependability.

For those struggling with dependability, combating procrastination can provide a sense of structure and discipline. It’s a reminder that we are part of an ongoing process of growth and self-improvement.

7) Being too independent

Independence is often lauded as a virtuous quality. We’re taught to be self-reliant, to not depend on others. However, in the pursuit of dependability, this trait might not serve us as well as we think.

But here’s the truth:

We’re social creatures. Our lives intertwine with others’, and our actions invariably affect those around us. Being dependable isn’t just about self-accountability; it’s about being reliable to others.

Strangely enough, being too independent can distance us from those who rely on us. We might inadvertently send signals that we don’t need others, causing them to hesitate before depending on us.

It’s not about abandoning independence but about finding a balance. It’s about understanding when to stand alone and when to stand with others. 

Bottom line: It’s a journey

The complexities of human behavior and personal growth are deeply intertwined with our experiences and choices.

One such connection is the relationship between dependability and the behaviors we’ve discussed throughout this article.

These behaviors, prevalent in many of us, act as barriers to being dependable, playing a pivotal role in how others perceive and trust us.

For those aspiring to be more dependable, recognizing and addressing these behaviors might be key factors in their journey. The process could potentially induce a sense of confidence and satisfaction as they observe the positive changes in their interactions.

Whether it’s saying goodbye to defensiveness, overcoming procrastination, or embracing interdependence, the underlying commitment to personal growth is enhancing their transformation.

As Will Durant famously said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.”

In our context, dependability too is not an act but a habit. A habit that is cultivated by consciously choosing to say goodbye to the behaviors that hold us back.