What is it about our mindsets that makes it so hard to change our lives? As someone who has upended his life many times during the last 20+ years, I can tell you that for me, and I gather for most people, it’s leaving the comfort zone that represents the biggest barrier.
Our minds are in constant conflict between the “comfort zone” and the “growth zone.”
We seek comfort because it’s less stressful and requires less energy. It’s where we feel safe and secure.
However, staying in the comfort zone results in stagnation and missed opportunities for personal growth.
So, to avoid that and to really change your life, you need to say goodbye to the following behaviors:
1) Staying in your comfort zone instead of taking risks
Staying in your comfort zone might feel safe, but it’s when you step out of your comfort zone that results in exciting experiences and personal transformation.
It’s about challenging yourself and embracing uncertainty as a chance to learn and evolve.
For example, when you’re young, there’s no reason not to move to a different country if you want to (and they let you).
It’s incredible how much you can learn when you’re constantly put on the spot and have to think on your feet.
But whatever you do, you need to be true to yourself and your values, even if it means not everyone will agree with your choices.
Embrace your uniqueness and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.
2) Procrastinating instead of taking action
When you keep putting things off, you’re basically hitting pause on your own progress. When you procrastinate, you’re delaying your chance to learn and grow.
I did this for many years as I delayed getting my college degree, then again delayed moving to a bigger city where all the opportunities were, and later on, deterred getting married for stupid reasons.
I simply kept making BS excuses even though I ended up doing all of the above. However, I lost YEARS of progress because I kept procrastinating.
But making excuses is often a defense mechanism to avoid confronting difficult things. Or at least the things we perceive as difficult.
I can’t say that I stopped procrastinating completely, but I’m much more productive these days compared to before.
Ultimately, taking responsibility for your actions is a crucial step towards personal growth. It allows you to learn from your experiences and become a more accountable and reliable individual.
3) Complaining and overthinking instead of finding solutions
I’m famous for overthinking things and especially for constantly complaining. Yeah, I’m a real peach to live with.
Complaining is like venting when things bug you, which is totally normal. But here’s the deal: it usually doesn’t fix the problem.
So, instead of just griping, try to think like a fixer-upper. Shift your focus to finding solutions. You need to be your own DIY expert. This approach makes you feel more in control and helps you actively work on making things better.
Now, overthinking is like when your brain goes into overdrive, dissecting every little detail of a decision. But let’s be real: not every decision in life needs to be flawless.
Sometimes, it’s better to trust your gut, make a call, and learn from the results. It’s kind of like trial and error – you figure out what works best as you go along, and that’s usually more practical than getting stuck in analysis paralysis.
Now, if I only took my own advice, my wife would be over the moon.
4) Negative self-talk instead of self-empowerment
You know that voice in your head? Well, it’s a big deal. If it’s always going on about how you’re not good enough, it can really mess with your confidence and happiness.
So, instead of beating yourself up, try being your own cheerleader.
Focus on what you’re good at, and go easy on yourself. But to do that, you must let go of any grudges you have.
Holding onto old grudges is like carrying around a heavy backpack full of rocks. It’s tough, and it keeps you stuck in the past.
As does thinking about what you could have done differently or missing the good old days.
As I see it, it’s natural to reflect, but dwelling on it too much steals your joy in the here and now.
5) Constantly comparing yourself to others instead of celebrating your uniqueness
When you’re scrolling through social media, does it seem to you like everyone else has it all together? Do you start feeling like you’re falling behind?
That’s the comparison trap, and it’s a never-ending race where you can never quite catch up.
But what I wish I realized earlier is that we’re all on our own journeys, and they’re as unique as our fingerprints.
Instead of getting caught up in the comparison game, it’s a lot more fulfilling to appreciate what makes you, well, you!
Your quirks, your talents, and your accomplishments are what make you special. Celebrate them.
Remember, there’s no fixed timeline for success. And if you really want to change your life, you must say goodbye to comparing yourself.
6) Putting others’ needs first instead of taking care of yourself
“Put on your oxygen mask before helping others.”
Helping others is a wonderful thing, no doubt. But here’s the thing: if you keep putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own all the time, you’re heading for a crash.
It’s like running on an empty tank – you can’t keep going forever. So, the trick is to strike a balance.
By taking care of yourself, you’re not being selfish; you’re recharging your batteries.
When you’re in a good place, you can help others more effectively. It’s like they say on an airplane: “Put on your oxygen mask before helping others.”
Take care of yourself, and you’ll be in a better position to lend a hand when it really counts.
For example, if I listened to my parents, I would still be living back home with them and working a dead-end job in the local waste management company.
7) Worrying about things that might never happen instead of enjoying the moment
Think about all those times you’ve caught yourself stressing over things that might never even happen.
We’re all guilty of it.
We’re so busy worrying about the future that we miss out on the good stuff happening in the present.
And while planning ahead is important, it shouldn’t steal the joy from today. Taking a moment to be mindful and really soak in the present can actually make us a lot happier.
Plus, if you worry about all the things that could go wrong, you’ll never get off your couch and make a difference in your life or the lives of others.
Here’s how I change my life when I want to (and so can you)
“Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it. He who doesn’t, pays it.”
— Albert Einstein
Set clear goals
Defining clear and specific goals is like setting a destination on your life’s journey. It gives you a sense of purpose and direction.
For example, in your career, you might set a goal to get a promotion or start your own business.
In your health, you could aim to lose a certain amount of weight or run a marathon. In relationships, you might want to improve your communication with loved ones or learn how to talk to people better.
The key is to make these goals as specific as possible so you know exactly what you’re striving for.
Break it down
But once you have these big goals, it can be overwhelming to think about the entire journey ahead.
That’s why breaking your goals into smaller, more manageable steps makes them less intimidating.
For instance, if your goal is to start a business, the smaller steps could include market research, creating a business plan, and finding funding.
This approach makes your goals more achievable and allows you to track your progress.
Take action
This step is about turning your plans into action. Even if your initial actions seem small, they matter.
In your career, it could mean updating your resume or networking with professionals in your field.
For health goals, it might involve taking a 10-minute walk each day or preparing healthier meals.
In relationships, it could be as simple as setting aside quality time with your loved ones.
The key is to start somewhere and keep moving forward, no matter how small the steps seem.
Be just 1% better at something each day, and the power of compound interest will do the rest.
After all, Albert Einstein called it the most powerful force in the whole universe.
Just launched: The Vessel’s Youtube Channel
Explore our first video: The Brain Beneath Our Feet — a short-film by shaman Rudá Iandê that challenges where we believe intelligence comes from.
Instead of looking to the stars or machines, Rudá invites us to consider that the first great mind on Earth may have existed without a brain at all… and that the oldest form of thought might be living beneath our feet.
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