If someone uses these 12 phrases, they lack maturity and perspective

None of us are perfect:

But there is a big difference between those of us who want to improve and those of us who don’t care how we affect others or the situations we’re in. 

When a person is immature and ignorant, they’ll often show it through reckless and harmful actions. They’ll also show it through the words they say. 

The following phrases are, unfortunately, quite common. 

But when you hear somebody saying them you can be quite sure they are lacking self-awareness and have a lot of growth that still needs to happen internally. 

Let’s dive in: here are the immature things that people say when they’re bulldozing through the world and relationships without realizing or caring about the impact they have.

1) “He/she is a 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,” etc.

Anybody who rates people on a 1 to 10 scale of attractiveness is stuck in a deeply immature, shallow mindset. 

Pickup artist and girl boss culture may have encouraged this kind of mentality of rating people like you’re picking out the tastiest chicken wings at a deli, but it’s pathetic. 

Nobody over 16 should be talking like this, and come to think of it even teenagers using this kind of phraseology is sad. 

Yes, we’re all more or less attracted to people, and outer appearance does matter and make a difference. 

But having these kinds of numerical “scores” and voicing them (apart from as a joke) is incredibly immature.

People aren’t numbers. 

2) “I don’t feel like it right now”

Sometimes you’re busy with something or feeling under the weather, and that’s fair enough. 

But the term “I don’t feel like it” tends to show a certain amount of immaturity in many cases. 

It’s the kind of thing a 10-year-old kid says when he’s arguing with his mom. 

If somebody is 30, 40 or 50 and saying things like this, their mindset is still stuck in a sort of reactive, childish phase. 

They believe their feelings entitle them to do what they want, when they want. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. That’s just life. 

“Life is full of things that no one feels like doing, but you can’t make those around you miserable about it,” notes the Power of Positivity blog. 

True that! 

3) “You just need to be more positive”

Whenever somebody says this kind of thing, they are living in an illusion. 

Positivity is great, but sometimes negativity is also part of life. 

Demanding that somebody be more positive is generally a form of gaslighting. It’s a way to discount suffering and claim that the fault for outer circumstance lies with the individual suffering. 

This is often untrue. 

This kind of bullying statement is especially popular with New Age egotists and spiritual narcissists who think that life is just about “cleansing” the “bad vibes.”

This brings me to the next point… 

4) “You need to raise your vibrations dude”

Blaming the problems of life on difficult emotions is a cope through and through. 

We can certainly all get stuck in difficult phases and blocked energy, but it’s also possible to get stuck in pleasant emotions and refuse to move or grow because we get too comfortable and buzzed. 

Those who blame “low vibrations” for the struggles of life have a lot of growing up to do.

Sadly, they likely have a lot of money that they’re still going to lose as well from the kinds of spiritual teachers who take advantage of these Law of Attraction style teachings. 

It’s easy to gaslight people and tell them that they are to blame for what happens to them, but it’s also a low-down dirty trick. 

5) “Whatever man”

This kind of false casualness is only used by the fake or the repressed. 

If somebody is upset, they should voice it. 

Saying “whatever” and similar passive-aggressive things shows a level of real immaturity. 

What does this even mean?

Does it mean “f*ck you” or does it mean “no problem?”

It’s very hard to tell, especially if it’s only delivered via text message without any indication of tonality or context. 

6) “Nobody else gets it but me”

Are they really sure about that? 

When somebody says this they are playing the victim while simultaneously power-tripping at an epic level. 

They are engaging in “only I can save you” type rhetoric and also self-isolating. 

If we are to believe them, only they have the “one” truth and only they truly get what’s going on. 

What are the actual chances of that? Delusional.

7) “My ex was the worst thing that ever happened to me”

This is another example of playing the victim. 

This person’s ex may have been an actual psychopath or abusive. This shouldn’t be downplayed. 

But by emphasizing it, the individual is choosing to make others feel they have been the victim of a grand misfortune in life. 

Let’s be honest, too:

They are also writing themselves a giant blank check for their own behavior and issues by setting the foundation for whatever they do that’s hurtful being due to a past horrible ex. 

Toxic behavior. 

8) “No wonder nobody wants to be with you”

This kind of toxic statement often accompanies breakups and fights. 

Whether it has aspects of truth isn’t the point. 

We all have parts of us and our behavior that are unattractive. 

When somebody says this to anyone they are indicating that they believe on some level that the purpose of life is to be wanted by others. 

It’s not. This is a weak and ignorant mindset. 

9) “I’m richer than you because I worked harder than you”

This may be true. But it’s equally possible that it’s not true. 

The idea that wealth reflects hard work is incredibly simplistic and juvenile. 

Some are born into wealth, some have the right insight at the right time. Some are born into countries with much more valuable currency than other countries and leverage that into wealth. 

The kind of person who credits themselves based on their wealth is stuck in a juvenile d*ck measuring contest mentality. 

They have a lot of growing up to do. 

10) “The real main problem with the world is X group”

This is the type of ignorant statement that’s all too common these days, and I’m not talking about only in one direction. 

You see it on all “sides” of the political spectrum. You see it domestically and internationally, culturally and even in terms of gender.

“The real problem with the world is men.”

“The real problem with the world is religion.”

“The real problem with the world is the lack of religion.”

Are they really sure about this? Because these things sound like sweeping generalizations likely to lead to endless infighting more than productive insights.

11) “I’d never date anyone from X group”

Anybody who says this is living inside their own judgments instead of in the world. 

Groups have divisions, absolutely. People may find one group historically or currently at odds with their group or with them individually. 

But anybody who writes off an entire sector of society or the world due to their own sweeping judgment is a person who lacks perspective. 

Love can hit when we least expect and with the person who we least expect. 

12) “What is, like, even up with you?”

The way this is phrased and the passive-aggressive undertones make it a classic jerk statement. 

People who talk like this are speaking in a very immature way and usually trying to gaslight others.

If somebody really is really being very unusual or off-putting, there are other ways than to phrase it like this type of accusatory, fake casual interrogative.

What’s my age again? 

We’re all immature in ways. Don’t worry if you or those you’re close to have slipped up and used the following phrases occasionally (or even a lot). 

Becoming more self-aware is the name of the game. 

Youth is fleeting and it’s great to enjoy being young while you can, but immaturity and ignorance aren’t a necessary part of that. 

Especially as we grow up, it’s great to let go of some of these phrases that can hold us back and have a negative impact on those around us. 

As the lead singer of Train, Pat Monahan put it:

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

Truer words were never spoken!