Navigating human connections can be a tricky business. It’s all about knowing when to speak, when to listen, and how to read the subtle cues that people give off. It’s a delicate dance, isn’t it?
Now, imagine this scenario.
You’re in a conversation, and suddenly, you’re hit with a statement that leaves you feeling off-kilter. It’s as if you’ve been subtly cornered into agreeing with something you’re not entirely comfortable with. Can you relate?
Well, here’s the deal.
You could potentially be dealing with a highly manipulative individual. Yes, that’s right – your uncomfortable feeling may not be misplaced after all.
In our quest to foster healthy interactions, it’s vital we equip ourselves with the knowledge to identify such manipulation tactics. And that’s exactly what we’re going to delve into today.
So if you’ve ever wondered, “Am I being manipulated?”
Stay tuned because I’m about to reveal 7 phrases manipulators often use in conversations. Recognizing these will empower you to safeguard your mental and emotional well-being during such encounters.
1) “You’re just being sensitive”
Ever heard this one before?
This phrase is a classic in the manipulator’s playbook. It’s a covert way of dismissing your feelings or concerns, making you question your perception of events.
Here’s the thing.
By telling you that you’re “just being sensitive,” the manipulator is effectively shifting the blame onto you. They’re subtly implying that the issue isn’t with their behavior but with your reaction to it.
It’s okay to feel upset or uncomfortable. Your feelings are valid and deserve to be acknowledged, not dismissed.
So next time someone tries to downplay your feelings with this phrase, take a moment. Is this a pattern?
Could it be a sign of manipulation? If the answer is yes, it might be time to reevaluate that relationship.
2) “I was only joking”
Here’s a personal story for you.
I once had a friend who had a knack for making sharp, cutting remarks. Every time he would say something that upset me, he’d quickly follow it up with “I was only joking.”
At first, I dismissed it. I thought maybe I was misinterpreting his humor. But over time, I realized that this was not simply a case of misunderstood jests. It was manipulation under the guise of humor.
You see, by saying “I was only joking,” he was attempting to mask his unkind words and make me feel like I was the one overreacting. His intent wasn’t to amuse, but to belittle and then deflect any responsibility for the hurt his words caused.
Jokes are supposed to be funny. If someone’s “joke” hurts you, it’s not a joke – it’s a veiled insult.
You have every right to voice your feelings without being dismissed as lacking a sense of humor.
3) “Don’t you trust me?”
This phrase is a real gut-punch, isn’t it?
It’s designed to make you question your judgment, to create self-doubt. It’s as if by not blindly accepting what they say or do, you’re the one in the wrong.
But isn’t trust earned, not demanded?
Here’s a snapshot from my life.
A while back, I found myself in a sticky situation with a colleague who constantly missed deadlines. When confronted, their go-to response was “Don’t you trust me?” It was a way for them to sidestep accountability and put me on the defensive.
I realized then that trust isn’t about blind faith. It’s about consistency, reliability, and honesty. If someone frequently uses this phrase to deflect responsibility or guilt-trip you into compliance, it’s a red flag.
Trust yourself and your intuition. You’re not wrong for wanting honesty and reliability in your relationships.
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4) “Everyone agrees with me”
Ever been cornered with this phrase?
This is a classic manipulation tactic, often used to make you feel isolated and outnumbered. The underlying message? You’re the odd one out, and therefore, you must be wrong.
But here’s a reality check.
In most cases, the manipulator hasn’t polled everyone else’s opinion. They’re just claiming so to sway you into thinking their viewpoint is the popular or correct one.
Just because someone says “everyone” agrees doesn’t make it true. And even if it were, it doesn’t necessarily make it right. You’re entitled to your own thoughts and feelings, even if they differ from others.
Stand firm in your convictions. Don’t let anyone use the majority to undermine your perspective.
5) “If you really cared, you’d do it”
This phrase is a masterstroke in the manipulator’s art of emotional blackmail.
Let me break it down for you.
The manipulator is essentially saying that your feelings or your love for them can be measured by the actions you take on their behalf. It’s a way of coercing you into doing something you may not want to or agree with.
Now, here’s something to ponder.
According to Dr. Susan Forward, author of “Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You,” this tactic is often used by individuals who feel insecure in their relationships.
It’s not your job to prove your love or loyalty by complying with unreasonable demands. True affection is about respect and understanding, not manipulation and control.
Don’t let anyone guilt-trip you into doing something that goes against your better judgment.
6) “You’re overthinking this”
This phrase can be a gentle nudge to help us when we’re stuck in a mental loop. But in the hands of a manipulator, it becomes a tool to cast doubt on your concerns or feelings.
Here’s something I want you to remember.
It’s okay to think things through. It’s okay to question, to analyze. It’s part of being human. Yes, there are times when we might overthink, but it’s not for someone else to decide that for us.
If someone consistently tells you that you’re overthinking, it could be their way of undermining your gut feelings or instincts. It’s a way of making you question your own judgment.
Your thoughts and feelings have value. Trust in your ability to understand and interpret your own experiences. You’re not overthinking — you’re simply trying to understand.
7) “I never said that”
This phrase is a prime example of gaslighting, a manipulative tactic designed to make you question your reality.
Gaslighting is insidious. It chips away at your confidence, making you feel like you can’t trust your own memory or perception.
But here’s the most important thing you should know.
Your experiences are real. Your memories are valid. If someone consistently denies or twists what they’ve said, it’s not a reflection of your memory but their manipulation.
Stand strong in your truth. Don’t let anyone rewrite your reality to suit their narrative.
The final takeaway
Recognizing manipulation can be both enlightening and challenging. If you’ve seen your experiences mirrored in the phrases we’ve discussed, know this – it’s not your fault.
Understanding these tactics is the first step toward empowerment. It helps you reclaim your voice and narrative from those who seek to control it.
Here’s something to think about – respect and trust are the cornerstones of healthy relationships. You’re entitled to these in every interaction. If someone consistently uses manipulative phrases, it could be a sign to reconsider the dynamics of that relationship.
It’s okay to set boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well-being. It’s okay to say no, to voice your feelings, to step away if need be.
It’s a journey, and it may take time. But with every step, you’re fostering healthier, more meaningful connections. And most importantly, you’re honoring your authentic self.
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