There’s a fine line between appearing genuine and actually being genuine. That line often comes down to subtle behaviors that many people miss.
Being genuine is about authenticity, not just saying the right things. It’s about actions matching words, consistency, and transparency.
Spotting a genuine person can be tricky. But, savvy individuals know there are specific subtle behaviors that can give away someone’s true colors.
Below, we’ll explore nine of these telltale signs that someone might not be as genuine as they seem.
Get ready to become a human lie detector.
1) They’re inconsistent
Inconsistency is a telltale sign that someone might not be genuine.
Authenticity, at its core, is about consistency – your actions aligning with your words. So, when someone’s behavior starts to swing like a pendulum, alarm bells should ring.
Consider this: A person who is warm and friendly one day, but cold and distant the next, without any apparent reason. Such drastic shifts are often a sign that they’re not showing their true colors.
It’s not about people having off days – we all do. It’s about a pattern of inconsistency that raises questions about their authenticity.
2) They’re always playing the victim
Playing the victim is another subtle behavior that can indicate a person isn’t genuine.
Let me share a personal experience. I had a friend who was constantly surrounded by drama. Every time we met, there was a new story about how someone had wronged her or how the world was against her.
At first, I felt sympathetic and tried to help her navigate through these hardships. But after a while, I noticed this was a recurring theme. It seemed like she was always looking for sympathy and never acknowledging her role in these situations.
That’s when it hit me – she was always playing the victim. This constant victim mentality was her way of manipulating situations and people, avoiding accountability for her actions.
3) They’re quick to judge
Judgmental behavior is another subtle sign that someone may not be genuine. Genuine people tend to be understanding and empathetic, while those who are not genuine often rush to judge others without knowing the full story.
According to psychologists, people who tend to judge others harshly are usually insecure about their own flaws. They use criticism of others as a defense mechanism to divert attention away from their own shortcomings.
4) They’re always name-dropping
Name-dropping can be a subtle sign that someone isn’t being genuine.
We all know someone who constantly brings up their connections with influential or famous people. It’s as if they’re trying to elevate their own status by association.
Genuine people don’t need to flaunt their connections to feel validated or important. They’re content with who they are and don’t feel the need to impress others by showing off their circles.
5) They rarely show empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Genuine people often exhibit a high degree of empathy towards others.
On the flip side, a lack of empathy can be a sign that someone isn’t as genuine as they seem. If you notice that someone rarely shows understanding or compassion when others are going through difficult times, it might be a red flag.
Bottom line – genuine people are not afraid to step into someone else’s shoes, to try and understand their perspective. If that’s missing, it might indicate that they’re more focused on themselves than on the well-being of others.
6) They’re not there when you need them
Genuine people stick around, even when things aren’t rosy. They offer their support when you need it most, even if it’s just a listening ear or a comforting word.
Life is a roller coaster of ups and downs. During those low points, we often lean on the shoulders of our loved ones. Their support can make a world of difference.
But what if someone who claims to be close to you is nowhere to be found during your struggles? What if they only show up during the good times, but vanish when the going gets tough? Chances are they’re not as genuinely invested in the relationship as you are.
7) They’re always seeking attention
Attention-seeking behavior can be another sign that someone isn’t genuine.
There was a time in my life when I found myself surrounded by people who constantly sought the spotlight. Every conversation, every gathering had to revolve around them. If it didn’t, they’d find a way to steer it back to themselves.
Over time, I realized this was more than just a need for attention. It was an indication that these individuals were not secure in their own identities. They needed constant validation from others to feel good about themselves. That’s quite the opposite of someone who’s genuine.
8) They’re overly defensive
Being overly defensive can be a subtle sign that someone isn’t as genuine as they seem.
We all get defensive from time to time. It’s a natural reaction when we feel attacked or misunderstood. But when defensiveness becomes a regular pattern, it may indicate a lack of authenticity.
Genuine people are open to feedback and criticism. They understand that nobody is perfect, and they’re willing to learn and grow from their mistakes.
On the contrary, if someone is always on the defensive, never accepting any form of criticism or never admitting their faults, it might suggest they’re not showing their true self.
9) They’re not authentic with their feelings
The most crucial sign that someone might not be genuine is a lack of emotional authenticity.
Genuine people are open and honest about their feelings. They don’t hide their emotions or pretend to feel something they don’t. They are true to themselves and aren’t afraid to show vulnerability.
If someone masks their feelings, always putting on a brave face, or constantly pretending to be happy when they’re not, it’s a significant red flag. Being genuine means being true to your emotions, and anyone who constantly hides their true feelings might not be as genuine as they portray.
Final thoughts: Authenticity is a journey
As we navigate through life, we encounter people with varying degrees of genuineness. Understanding these subtle behaviors allows us to discern between the genuine and the not-so-genuine.
But let’s remember, being genuine is not about being perfect. It’s about embracing our imperfections, being true to our feelings, and consistent in our actions. It’s about showing up for others not just in their moments of joy, but also in their times of need.
As we wrap up this exploration into authenticity, let these insights guide you in your interactions and relationships. After all, genuine connections are the cornerstone of a fulfilling life.
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