We all know that men are often not the best at expressing their feelings.
For many men, talking about deep emotions is difficult or close to impossible. And the downside of that is it can be hard to know just how serious he is about you and your relationship.
One of the best signs that a man has deep feelings for you and is committed to building a life with you is that he plans his future with you in it.
And if you know what to look for, you may hear him say some subtle phrases that show he considers you part of his future.
Here are some of those phrases.
1) “We should do X together”
This can seem like a throwaway phrase, but actually, it reveals that when he pictures the future, he sees you in it.
And the longer-term the plan, the more committed he is to the relationship.
So if he says you should check out a new restaurant next week, that doesn’t necessarily mean too much. But if he talks about taking a foreign holiday together that’s going to require months or even years of saving up and planning, that’s a stronger sign that he’s deeply committed.
Either way, the fact he’s making future plans with you is a good sign. Although it can be subtle, it shows that when he thinks about the future, you are definitely a part of it.
2) “I could see us living in a place like that”
I’ll admit it: I watch a lot of those house-buying shows.
You know the ones. Some people, usually a couple, are looking to buy a house and have to choose between three different options that suit their budget and choice of where they want to live.
But when you watch those shows with your partner, it’s hard not to start thinking long-term. After all, half the fun of shows like that is asking yourself what you would do with a house like that or where you would want to live in the future.
If a man says something like, “I could see us living in a place like that,” that’s a major sign that he is thinking long-term.
After all, we don’t move in with people we don’t really like. If a man is really considering what kind of house you would like to share with you, it’s a clear sign that he can’t picture a future without you.
3) “When we have a house…”
By the same token, this phrase can show that he is thinking long-term.
It may seem subtle. After all, when he talks like this, he’s talking about the two of you having a house as if it’s a foregone conclusion.
That means he’s given it some thought, and when he pictures finding a place to settle down, he imagines you being a key part of it.
Whether you agree on the kind of house you want to share in the future or not, just the fact that he is thinking in this way shows how committed he is to his relationship with you.
4) “When we have kids…”
This is an even bigger signal that a man sees a future with you.
Let’s face it: there is no bigger commitment than having children with someone. Marriages can end, homes can be sold, but kids are for life.
If a man has thought about the two of you having children together, it means he is not afraid to be bound to you for the rest of his life.
Now, not everyone wants kids, and that’s fine. That’s something you’ll have to navigate with your partner for yourself. But if he’s thinking about children, it’s a clear sign that he can’t imagine a future without you.
5) “I want to take you to…”
Disneyland? Las Vegas? Italy?
It doesn’t really matter where. When a guy expresses a desire to take you somewhere new, it’s a major sign that he wants to make great memories together.
And if the trip is a major one, it shows he’s not afraid to work together toward a common goal.
Weekend getaways are one thing. A major vacation is something else. If he’s willing to spend the kind of time and money it costs to plan a big trip together, it shows you that he’s interested in you for the long haul.
6) “My family would love to meet you”
Meeting your partner’s family can be a nerve-racking experience. Because like it or not, most people place a lot of value in what their family thinks of their partners.
Plus, it demonstrates serious commitment.
After all, if you’re with someone long enough, it’s inevitable that they become part of your family. So wanting you to meet the people who mean the most to him shows that he wants that kind of connection with you.
He anticipates you being part of his life well into the future, and he wants to make sure you can get along with his family.
It can be intimidating. But take it for what it is: a sign that he is thinking about a future with you.
7) “We need to start saving”
Talking about finances doesn’t sound like the most romantic thing in the world. But this can be a subtle sign that he’s been thinking a lot about the two of you and your future together.
Like it or not, money is a major factor in all our lives. And what’s interesting about a statement like this is the use of the word ‘we’.
It shows that when he thinks about money, he thinks of it as something the two of you share. And because saving is a long-term proposition, it shows he intends to be with you for a long time.
Merging your financial lives is a big step in any relationship. And if a guy wants to do that, it’s because he wants to be with you for the long haul.
8) “Have you thought about where you want to retire?”
Commitments don’t get much more long-term than this.
Most of us don’t think much about retirement when we are young, but as you get older, it becomes more and more important to get on the same page about what you both want.
So if you are still relatively young, maybe decades out from retirement, a guy who is thinking like this is showing that he anticipates you being around forever.
When he thinks about his own retirement, he thinks about spending his golden years with you, and asking you where you want that to be shows he is committed to making you happy for the rest of your life.
9) “I saw this and thought about us”
This phrase is always a romantic thing to hear. But also, it shows that he’s thinking about you even when you’re not around.
Again, it doesn’t really matter what it was he saw that triggered the thoughts of you. All that matters is that he is thinking about you often, and he wants you to know that.
That’s a sign of a man who truly wants to be with you. And it’s also a sign of a man who cares enough about you to see a future together.
Planning for the future
None of us know where life is going to take us. And even the best-laid plans often fall apart when they make contact with reality.
Still, a man who is truly committed builds his dreams around you. So if he says things like this, you can believe that when he pictures the future, you are a major part of it.
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Explore our first video: The Brain Beneath Our Feet — a short-film by shaman Rudá Iandê that challenges where we believe intelligence comes from.
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