Empaths are very in touch with their emotions. They feel deeply and they notice everything!
When a friend is acting differently, they’ll notice it. If your partner is going through a tough time, you’ll feel their emotions like they’re your own.
Research says this comes from having “mirror neurons” in the brain. These help empaths mirror the emotions of people they meet, which is why they’re able to feel the things they do.
Of course, some people just have a lot of empathy and aren’t necessarily empaths. So how do you know if you have these mirror neurons, or if you’re just very empathetic?
According to psychology, you’ll feel these 8 emotions deeply when you’re truly an empath.
1) You have a strong intuition when something isn’t right
If you’ve ever seen the Spiderman films, you’ll know that he has a “spidey sense”. When something is about to go wrong, his arm hair stands up and he gets this strong, overwhelming feeling that something isn’t right.
Well, empaths don’t have such a dramatic response, but it isn’t far from it! When something doesn’t seem right to you, you get this gut feeling you can’t shake.
Like when you first meet someone and just get a bad feeling about them. Or when your boyfriend comes home from working late and you just get this sense that he isn’t telling you something.
Experts say this is your intuition at work. Even though it seems like a superpower, it’s actually just because empaths are very attuned to how other people are feeling.
Subtle cues in people’s behavior or facial expressions are usually what you notice, even if it’s subconscious, for these gut feelings to form.
2) You’re sensitive to sounds, smells, and sights
How do you feel in a crowded room? Do you feel completely relaxed like the people around you? Or totally alert and sometimes even overwhelmed – plus a little exhausted from trying to take in everything and everyone around you?
How about when you’re talking on the couch with a friend and their TV is playing your favorite show and there’s music on in the kitchen and a leaf blower outside? Can you concentrate on what your friend is saying as well as they can concentrate on you?
I’m guessing you can’t if you’re an empath.
This is because empaths aren’t just sensitive to the emotions of others, but of everything in their environment. From sights, sounds, smells, and even physical sensations, experts say an empath picks up on these things more than others.
3) You fear conflict and it really affects you
Everyone’s argued with a friend, family member, or a partner before. These things are a normal part of life, so you’d think we’d just get used to it.
But only some people can – those who lack empathy or aren’t empaths. Because when you’re an empath, conflict kind of scares you. In the rare times you’ve been involved in it, it’s affected you a lot more than you’d like to admit.
Experts say that conflict can be especially difficult for an empath, especially when it’s with people you love. The negative emotions you feel when arguing with someone, like pain, frustration, and confusion, can be overwhelming for you.
Sometimes, this can make you act irrationally or even shut down entirely. When it’s all over, the bad feelings can stay with you for days, weeks, or even months after.
4) You deeply understand how others feel
Of course, you can’t be an empath if you don’t understand the emotions of others! This is, after all, what empathy is. But you can have empathy without being an empath.
The difference is that someone with empathy understands how someone might be feeling and offers support. Whereas an empath will literally take on the emotions of the other person – and they sometimes let it affect them more than it should!
Here’s an example of how two of my friends reacted to my last break-up. One friend felt sad for me and said all the right things to help. She texted and called me a couple of times in the weeks after to see how I was.
The other balled her eyes out. After, she texted me to say how sad she felt. Days later, I found out she told her other friends all the details, which I was pretty unhappy about. She said it was because she, “Needed the emotional support to deal with my breakup”.
Of course, this highlights a very problematic trap that empaths can fall into. When you don’t set firm boundaries with your emotions, like my second friend, you end up understanding the pain of others so deeply, that you take it on yourself.
5) You feel lonely all the time
You feel it when you’re single, when you’re in a relationship, or when you’re surrounded by people at the office mixer. It doesn’t matter where it is, you can be deeply affected by the pang of loneliness when you’re an empath.
Why? Judith Orloff, M.D. discovered that empaths are super-responders. She describes them as having 50 fingers instead of 5 when feeling things, which is why they feel EVERYTHING.
She explains that because of this, empaths feel loneliness, like being single or disconnected from others, so much stronger than others.
In relationships, even happy ones, she found that the togetherness can actually leave an empath feeling fatigued and overwhelmed constantly from absorbing their partner’s emotions all the time.
To overcome this, she says, you need to 1) recognize your feelings and 2) give yourself space to decompress.
6) You can feel overwhelmed when people are nice to you
Years ago, therapy taught me that I might be an empath. Alongside teaching me some very important things about myself, she asked, “How do you feel when someone is nice to you?”.
I recalled an old friend texting me to meet up, saying, “We have to make this happen soon because I really want to see you!”, and it filling me with joy.
We’ve talked a lot about how you absorb the sadness in others as an empath. But sadness isn’t the only thing you absorb. You take on happiness and joy, too. Usually, this comes from people being kind to you.
Sometimes, that kindness can be an overwhelming feeling for you. It’s why you sometimes find it hard to accept a compliment. Or you just outright don’t know what to do when someone is nice to you!
It’s like your brain tries to understand where it comes from and whether there’s an ulterior motive beneath it all. When mostly, there isn’t…
7) You love hard
The good thing about being an empath is that when you fall in love, you fall HARD. If you’re in a happy relationship right now, I’m sure you know what we mean.
You love your partner so much, it fills your entire heart! You feel content and truly, madly, deeply in love with everything about them.
If you’re not dating anyone right now, you’ll still know what we mean. You might fall for someone fairly quickly and need a lot of time to get over them when it fizzles out.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with falling in love or even falling easily. Love is one of the most powerful emotions we can feel.
Research has even found that a lot of love in your life boosts your immune system, increases life expectancy, lowers depression, and keeps your heart healthy!
The only thing to be wary of is your ability to care too much when it isn’t good for you anymore. Like when you give your all to someone and don’t get anything in return.
Or when you fall for someone’s potential, rather than who they are, which is apparently easy for empaths to do, according to experts. It can just leave you in an unhappy relationship for too long or with a narcissistic partner.
8) You care a lot about others
In your high school yearbook, you were probably voted “most likely to become a human rights activist” or something of the sort! Why? It’s because of how caring, compassionate, and respectful you’ve always been of others.
You never bullied others and always tried your best to make people feel safe with you. You don’t like talking trash about people behind their backs and feel sorry for the people it happens to.
When you fall in love or build friendships with others, you hate it when they feel sad or worried and you want to help. Your warmth even extends to total strangers!
Like if you were watching a movie and the grandma died, you’d feel overwhelmingly compassionate for her husband who’s left behind and deeply hope that he’ll be OK.
Your friends often describe you as warm-hearted, kind, or “nice” – and the above are all the reasons why.
Final thoughts
Empaths are truly wonderful people. They’re kind, warm, and (of course!) empathetic, which is why they make such beautiful friends and partners.
But naturally, there’s a serious danger for empaths, which you’ve probably picked up on while reading this (since you’re so attuned to everything!).
The danger is that it’s easy for you to get a) overwhelmed and b) taken advantage of. The first step to protecting yourself is to learn more about what it means to be an empath and how to set better boundaries.
When you nail this, you can be a wonderful person to others AND happy in yourself. What’s better than that?
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