I didn’t realize how unhappy I was—until I gave up these 6 habits I thought were “normal”

I remember the day I realized something was off. I’d been telling myself for months that my restlessness was just a phase and that the nagging heaviness I felt every night was normal. I had no glaring reason to be unhappy.

On paper, I had the life I wanted: a supportive partner, a cozy minimalist home, and a creative job that brought me a lot of satisfaction. Yet, something wasn’t right inside me.

That’s when I decided to step back and re-examine a few of my everyday habits. I thought these behaviors were simply part of adult life, but once I let them go, I saw how much they had weighed on my mood, relationships, and overall sense of peace.

If you’ve also wondered why you can’t seem to shake that underlying feeling of unhappiness—even when things look fine on the outside—my hope is that you’ll spot at least one old habit in your own life that’s ready to be released.

Below are six seemingly “normal” routines I had to relinquish so I could rediscover genuine joy.

1. Overanalyzing every detail

My mind used to spin in circles around every little decision, conversation, or possibility. I’d replay conversations, dissect them for hidden meanings, and worry about how I might have been perceived.

If there was a choice to make, I’d consider all possible outcomes until I was paralyzed by the burden of overthinking.

The first time I saw how harmful this was, I had been ruminating for days over a short email exchange with a colleague. She was actually just busy and responded curtly, but I drove myself crazy wondering what I might have done wrong. Meanwhile, she had moved on—unaware of my inner turmoil.

Letting go of overanalysis required deliberate steps toward mindfulness. Whenever I caught myself tumbling down a rabbit hole of “what ifs,” I’d take a deep breath and identify one practical action I could take.

Sometimes it was to pick up the phone and ask for clarity, and sometimes it was simply to accept I might never have all the answers.

Eckhart Tolle often reminds us to return to the present moment instead of living in hypotheticals, and I took that to heart. As soon as I started practicing this, I noticed more room in my day for creative work, relaxation, and genuine connection with others.

I still catch myself overthinking sometimes, but it no longer controls me. I realize that clarity often arrives when I’m not drowning in my own thoughts. Why not give yourself permission to pause next time you feel that storm of analysis coming?

2. Saying “yes” to everything

I used to believe that being agreeable and always available was a sign of kindness. In reality, I was draining my energy and compromising my own priorities. The irony was that my attempts to make everyone else comfortable left me perpetually exhausted.

When I first started saying “no,” the guilt hit me like a wave. I worried that people would think I was selfish. I feared that turning down a request would damage professional or personal relationships.

Yet, the opposite happened. Most people respected my boundaries, and the relationships that couldn’t handle a few gentle no’s weren’t relationships that truly served my well-being anyway.

Here’s how I approached it in small steps:

• I defined my non-negotiables. For me, that included my morning yoga session and my writing time.

• I practiced politely declining invitations that clashed with those priorities.

• I asked myself if I actually wanted to do something or if I just felt obligated.

That bullet list might look simple, but it took me a while to fully embrace it. Over time, I realized that saying “yes” to everything only empties you out.

If you can’t keep your own well refilled, you’ll have nothing to give others in the long run. Once I recognized that, my everyday life became more grounded and fulfilling.

3. Criticizing myself in the mirror

For years, I accepted as “normal” the habit of picking apart my reflection. I’d make notes of the curve of my stomach, the fullness of my arms, or even the wrinkles starting to form around my eyes. I convinced myself this was how to stay motivated and keep my body in check.

Yet, I wasn’t actually motivated to become healthier. Instead, I was deflated, discouraged, and never quite satisfied with how I looked. I’d set random fitness goals, and even if I reached them, my negative self-talk would find something else to fixate on.

That all changed when I began a consistent yoga practice. Yoga forced me to respect what my body could do, rather than obsess over how it looked. I started noticing my ability to hold a pose longer, or how my balance improved, and it gave me a new sense of appreciation.

As Brené Brown once noted, true belonging and self-acceptance can’t coexist with constant self-criticism. I took her words to heart and stopped using my mirror as a place to wage war against myself.

Nowadays, I’ll still use the mirror to check my alignment or see if I’m wearing something that suits me, but I avoid dissecting every perceived flaw. My body deserves better, and so does yours.

If you’ve been in the habit of tearing yourself down every time you pass by a mirror, consider taking a different approach—one that starts with gratitude for all the ways your body supports you.

4. Checking my phone every spare moment

I used to fill every pause with a quick scroll through social media or email. Standing in line? Check my phone. Waiting for water to boil? Check my phone. I reached for it automatically, without giving myself any mental space to simply be.

When I eventually recognized how often I was mindlessly unlocking my screen, I decided to experiment with pockets of phone-free time.

I set boundaries for myself—no phone checking during meals, no screen time in bed, and I tried to keep it out of reach whenever I was around friends or family. Those small changes opened up a whole new sense of presence.

Some days, I struggled because part of me craved the dopamine hit that comes from new notifications. But when I stuck with it, I found greater calm, more focus, and even better sleep.

I stopped bombarding my brain with an endless stream of stimulation and started noticing little joys around me: a bird on the windowsill, a neighbor greeting me, or just my own breaths in a quiet room. It was a game changer.

If you haven’t tried creating small phone-free zones in your life, you might be pleasantly surprised at how freeing it feels. You might even discover you don’t miss the constant digital chatter.

5. Surrounding myself with clutter

I was never a hoarder, but I used to buy and keep things “just in case.” Extra clothes, knickknacks from old vacations, unopened kitchen gadgets, mountains of random papers, all collecting dust.

I called it normal adult life—having spare items for every scenario. Yet, the weight of that clutter was more than physical. It seeped into my mind, adding to an overall sense of disarray.

Once I began embracing minimalism, I realized that the art of letting go isn’t limited to possessions. There’s a certain mental release that happens when your home is free of excess and everything has its rightful place.

I found that every item I didn’t use or enjoy was quietly asking for my time—time to clean it, store it, organize it, or remember where I left it. Letting go of these things freed up more mental and emotional space than I could have imagined.

I still keep a warm blanket, some sentimental photos, and the books I truly love. Minimalism isn’t about living with nothing. It’s about living with what genuinely adds value.

If your environment feels chaotic, consider focusing on one corner or drawer. Notice how it feels to reclaim that space. Little by little, you can create a home that serves as a peaceful retreat rather than another source of stress.

6. Ignoring my own need for stillness

I used to believe that the hustle was everything. Being busy meant I was important, productive, and on the right track. Whenever I felt overwhelmed, I told myself to push harder. If my schedule was packed, I must be doing life correctly.

Over time, this mindset eroded my well-being. My stress levels skyrocketed, and my patience dwindled. I hardly gave myself room to notice my feelings, let alone process them. When I finally gave myself permission to stop and check in—through meditation and simple breathing exercises—I noticed a huge shift.

Meditation isn’t magic, but it does provide a pause from the constant mental chatter that can wear you down. Even five minutes of seated stillness can reset your mood and guide you back to your center.

These days, I place as much importance on my mindfulness practice as I do on brushing my teeth or taking a shower. If I skip it for too long, I feel off-kilter, like I’m missing a key part of my daily routine.

We’re almost done, but this piece can’t be overlooked—your nervous system needs time to recalibrate.

Dedicating consistent moments to pause, breathe, and observe your inner world makes a tangible difference in how you handle life’s ups and downs. It’s allowed me to be more patient with loved ones, more creative in my work, and more attuned to my own body’s needs.

Final thoughts

I was stunned by how unhappy I felt once I saw how these habits weighed on me. Letting go of them uncovered more freedom, emotional stability, and an honest sense of who I am when I’m not trying to please the world or maintain a facade.

If you’ve been carrying the same habits, trust that you have the ability to break them one step at a time. You might not see a dramatic change overnight, but each small shift will open your eyes to a less complicated and more meaningful way of living.

Take a moment to ask yourself which of these habits is worth letting go, and consider how you’ll feel when you finally do. Because in that space of release, real happiness can emerge—and often it’s been there, patiently waiting, all along.