Did you know that your body language can give away your lack of confidence? Whether you’re feeling unsure of yourself during a job interview or meeting someone new, it’s important to be aware of the signals you’re sending out.
Read on to find out about seven different body language gestures that might be giving away your lack of confidence and some tips to help you change your habits to create the most confident you possible.
1) Hiding your torso
Have you ever stood there with your arms folded because you weren’t feeling so confident? Well, that’s a dead giveaway for low confidence. In fact, any stances where you are hiding your torso give the illusion that you lack confidence.
When you stand with your arms folded across your torso, it can signal that you’re guarded and lacking confidence.
Instead, try bringing your hands gently together in front of your torso to show that you’re feeling confident.
Another option to show confidence is to keep your hands relaxed and at your sides.
If you feel the need to do something with your hands, use purposeful gestures to emphasize your points. Being aware of your hand movements can help you avoid unintentionally showing that you are nervous.
One way to show that you are open to receiving feedback is to keep your palms facing up. I always feel more comfortable and at ease with someone open to receiving feedback, don’t you?
2) Avoiding eye contact
How do you feel when you’re speaking to someone and they’re looking all over the place? If that happens to me I can feel undervalued, or that what I’m saying isn’t worth listening to.
Eye contact can be a particularly big giveaway of low confidence. And it can be hard to keep up, especially for people who are neurodiverse.
Looking down or avoiding eye contact can indicate you’re uncomfortable or lacking confidence.
Try to make an effort to maintain eye contact and engage with the person you’re speaking with.
Many people, myself included, find it uncomfortable or awkward to look someone dead in the eye while speaking. A helpful hint is to just look in the general direction of the eyes, focusing on the speaker’s forehead or between the eyes instead.
Looking someone in the eyes makes you not only seem like you’re a confident person, but also that you are interested in and paying full attention to what the other person is saying. This is especially necessary if you are in an important meeting or job interview.
Another point to remember when practicing this technique is to make sure that you avoid excessive blinking, which can also show nervousness.
3) Fidgeting
Constantly moving around or fidgeting can indicate nervousness and lack of confidence. Try to stay still and remain calm and relaxed. Slow breathing techniques can be particularly helpful for this.
Some examples of fidgeting or nervous gestures are; tapping fingers, leg jiggling, playing with hair, or constantly adjusting clothing.
At times I also find it hard to keep from fidgeting, especially tapping my fingers or playing with my jewelry, so this is when bringing my hands together in front of my torso can be a real help.
If you struggle to avoid playing with your hair, try to remember to tie it back if possible, or style it so it’s out of the way. Now that’s one less thing to worry about!
Often, when we are in situations where we may not be confident, such as a job interview, we are wearing clothes that we don’t usually wear and can be a bit uncomfortable. This is where you may end up constantly adjusting your clothing, and giving off an air of nervousness which we don’t want. Try to wear clothes that you are comfortable in to avoid the constant adjusting.
These nervous gestures are often habits that can be hard to break, but with practice and perseverance, you can create new habits that exude confidence.
4) Poor posture
Slouching or having a hunched-up posture can make you appear smaller and less confident. Why? Because it seems as though you’re hiding away or are scared of the person you’re speaking to.
Instead, stand and sit up straight, engage that core, keep your shoulders back, relax, and distribute your weight evenly on both feet, take a deep breath and you’ll feel like a new you.
Standing tall with good posture makes you look and feel more confident. It also signals to others and yourself that you’re strong and capable. I know when I remember to adjust my posture, I immediately feel like I can take on the world. I feel good about myself and confident in whatever I am about to embark on.
So, shoulders back, chin up! It’s a bit like wearing an invisible superhero cape that boosts your self-esteem and how others see you.
5) Not smiling
How many times has someone changed how you feel about your day with just a simple smile? A smile can go a long way in making you appear more approachable and confident.
A job interview is a perfect place to put that smile into practice.
However, be careful of excessive or forced smiling, as these can be a sign of nervousness and an attempt to mask insecurities. The friendlier you look, the more confident you seem.
Find it hard to smile when you’re nervous? Just think of something that makes you feel good – go to your happy place or think of something funny. A genuine smile should spread its way across your face to show the world just how confident you are.
6) Lack of movement
Being too still or rigid can give off a nervous energy. Restricting movement of the torso, such as avoiding turning or twisting, can signal discomfort or a lack of confidence.
Try relaxed natural movements along with good posture and a few hand gestures to rid yourself of this nervous energy.
If you’re engaged in conversation, try turning slightly toward the person you’re speaking with as this too can convey openness and attentiveness.
Remember your good posture also if you are standing. Try not to move from one foot to another, or lean on something next to you. Stand tall, and confident and practice those relaxed movements. You can also point to add emphasis to what you’re speaking about.
7) Shrugging
How many times have you seen someone shrug, and the conversation has immediately shut down? Shrugging your shoulders can make you appear unsure of yourself. It’s the universal ‘I don’t know’ signal.
So if you really don’t want to give yourself away, try your best to avoid the shrug.
Instead, try to use confident gestures and body language to convey your message. A shrug, especially in combination with a hesitant facial expression, can make people think you’re indecisive, lack confidence, or don’t care about what is being said.
Keep your shoulders down and relaxed. Take a moment to pause and think when being asked a question. And if you are really unsure of the answer then say so. But don’t forget that smile!
Final thoughts
Remember that improving your body language is a gradual process that involves both awareness and practice. Be sure to celebrate all improvements, no matter how small.
Paying attention to how you carry yourself and making intentional adjustments can have a positive impact on how you are perceived by others. And more importantly, how you feel about yourself. Which is a bonus!
We all lack confidence at times, so give these tips a go to create a more confident you. Confidence grows over time, so be patient and kind to yourself on this journey.
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