9 signs you’re feeling lonely in life, according to psychology

Loneliness can be a complex and deeply personal experience.

You might be surrounded by people but still feel disconnected. Or you could be physically alone but feel content and fulfilled.

Understanding loneliness is not as straightforward as we might think. Psychology, however, provides us with some clues.

There are certain signs that indicate you’re feeling lonely in life, even when you’re not aware of it. In this article, I’m about to unpack these.

Here are 9 signs you’re feeling lonely in life, according to psychology. 

Let’s get started. 

1) You crave physical contact

Humans are inherently social creatures. We thrive on companionship and physical touch.

That’s why one of the first signs of loneliness is craving physical contact. It’s not necessarily about intimacy, but about simple human touch. A hug from a friend, a pat on the back, or even a handshake can make a world of difference.

Psychologically speaking, touch releases oxytocin – often referred to as the ‘love hormone’. This hormone promotes feelings of trust, bonding, and connection. When we lack physical interactions, we miss out on these benefits, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

So if you find yourself longing for more physical contact than usual, it could be a sign that you’re feeling lonely. It’s your body’s way of telling you it needs more social interaction.

Everyone’s different. What might be a sign of loneliness for one person might not be for another. It’s all about recognizing changes in your own behavior and feelings.

2) You’re losing sleep

Sleep and mental health are closely connected. And when it comes to loneliness, I can tell you from personal experience, it can really mess with your sleep patterns.

A few years back, after moving to a new city for work, I found myself feeling more alone than I had ever been. At night, I’d toss and turn, my mind racing with thoughts and worries. Even when I was exhausted, sleep just wouldn’t come.

According to psychologists, this is a common sign of loneliness. The lack of social connection can lead to increased stress and anxiety, which in turn can cause insomnia. It’s a vicious cycle – the less we sleep, the more stressed we become, and the more isolated we feel.

So if you’re finding yourself staring at the ceiling at 3 am more often than not, it might not just be about that extra cup of coffee you had in the afternoon. It could be a sign that you’re feeling lonely.

3) You’re overindulging in comfort food

When we feel lonely, we often seek comfort in things that make us feel better. And for many of us, that comfort comes in the form of food.

It’s not uncommon for people experiencing loneliness to turn to high-fat, high-sugar foods. These foods trigger the release of dopamine, the ‘feel-good’ hormone, providing a temporary sense of satisfaction and happiness.

If you’ve noticed an increase in your consumption of comfort foods or a change in your eating habits, it might be a sign that you’re feeling lonely.

4) You’re spending too much time on social media

In this digital age, we’re more connected than ever. Yet, paradoxically, excessive use of social media can often amplify feelings of loneliness.

If you find yourself mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter for hours on end, it might be more than just a way to kill time. It could be a sign that you’re feeling isolated and are seeking connection, albeit in a virtual world.

Psychologists suggest that while social media can be a great tool for staying connected with friends and family, it can also create a sense of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Seeing others share their happy moments can make us feel like we’re the only ones feeling lonely.

It’s crucial to maintain a balance and not let virtual interactions replace real-world connections.

5) You’re feeling more irritable than usual

Ever noticed how you’re more likely to snap at someone or get frustrated over minor issues when you’re feeling isolated? That’s because loneliness can make us more sensitive and reactive to negative events.

According to psychologists, loneliness isn’t just about feeling alone. It’s also about feeling misunderstood or not connected with those around us. And when we feel this way, even small annoyances can seem like major problems, leading to increased irritability and anger.

 It’s your mind’s way of expressing the emotional discomfort that comes with feeling disconnected from others.

6) You’re feeling disconnected from the world

Loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone. You can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely. It’s that sense of disconnection, of not feeling a part of the world around you, that really defines loneliness.

You may find yourself surrounded by friends or family, yet feel as though you’re on the outside looking in. As if there’s an invisible barrier separating you from everyone else. It’s a disheartening feeling, a silent ache that’s hard to put into words.

This disconnect might manifest in different ways: you may lose interest in social activities, or find it hard to relate to others’ experiences. You might even start to withdraw, preferring your own company to that of others.

If you’re feeling this way, remember, it’s okay to reach out for help. Loneliness is a universal human experience and there are people who understand what you’re going through.

7) You’re not taking care of yourself

It’s easy to let self-care slide when you’re feeling isolated. I remember when I was going through a particularly lonely phase, my self-care routine was the first thing to go out the window. I’d skip meals, lose track of time, and even forget to brush my teeth some days.

Psychologists say that this lack of self-care is a common sign of loneliness. When we feel disconnected from others, we can also start feeling disconnected from ourselves. This can lead to neglecting our own needs, both physical and emotional.

This might look like not eating properly, neglecting personal hygiene, or skipping regular exercise. So if you notice that you’re not taking care of yourself the way you normally would, it’s worth checking in with yourself to see if you’re feeling lonely.

8) You’re feeling overly self-conscious

Feeling lonely can sometimes lead to heightened self-awareness and self-consciousness. You might start to worry more about how others perceive you, or feel like you’re constantly under scrutiny.

This can often stem from the fear of being judged or rejected by others, which is heightened when we’re feeling isolated. It’s as if our loneliness makes us believe that we are somehow less worthy of connection and acceptance.

This increased self-consciousness can make social interactions even more challenging, leading to a vicious cycle of isolation and loneliness.

If you find yourself overly worried about what others think of you, it could be a sign that you’re feeling lonely and craving social connection.

9) You’re experiencing physical symptoms

Loneliness isn’t just an emotional experience. It can have very real physical symptoms too. Chronic loneliness can lead to a variety of health issues, like increased blood pressure, higher cholesterol levels, and even a weakened immune system.

One particular symptom you might notice is a constant feeling of exhaustion, even when you’ve had plenty of sleep. It’s as if the emotional toll of feeling isolated is manifesting physically, leaving you feeling drained and fatigued.

If you’re experiencing these symptoms and can’t attribute them to any other cause, it could be a sign that you’re dealing with loneliness. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to seek help – both for your mental and physical health.

Final thoughts: It’s about connection

The human experience is deeply interwoven with our need for connection. As social creatures, we thrive on interaction, understanding, and shared experiences.

Loneliness, in its essence, is a disconnect from this intricate social fabric. It’s a silent whisper, a longing for connection that echoes in the chambers of our heart.

John Cacioppo, a leading psychologist in the study of loneliness, put it succinctly: “The purpose of loneliness is like the purpose of hunger. Hunger takes care of your physical body. Loneliness takes care of your social body, which you also need to survive and prosper.”

Recognizing the signs of loneliness is the first step towards bridging this disconnect. It’s an invitation to reach out – to others, but most importantly, to ourselves.

Feeling lonely is not a sign of weakness. It’s a testament to our intrinsic human need to connect and belong. So if you recognize some of these signs within yourself, remember that it’s okay. You’re not alone in your loneliness.

Because at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to find our place in this vast universe of connections. And sometimes, it’s in acknowledging our loneliness that we find our way back to each other.