We all hit moments where giving up feels easier than pushing through.
Sometimes it’s a tough season at work, a health scare, a breakup, or just that slow, grinding kind of stress that wears you down without making a scene.
I’ve been there—when even basic things feel like too much and motivation dries up completely. I am sure you have, too.
But there are people who move through these moments differently. They still struggle, but they don’t stay stuck. They bend without breaking. They somehow keep showing up, even when everything in them wants to check out.
That kind of resilience often isn’t about being tougher than everyone else. It’s built on habits—small, repeatable choices that help you stay grounded, clear, and steady when life gets heavy.
In this post, we’ll look at five of these habits. If you’re feeling worn out or on the edge of giving up, maybe one of them will help you hang on just a little longer.
Let’s get into it.
1. They practice realistic optimism
This one took me by surprise.
I mean, I knew optimism was important. But what caught me was the realism part.
For a long time, I thought being resilient meant staying wildly positive no matter what—like repeating mantras until the hard stuff disappeared. But that kind of forced cheerfulness never sat right with me. And it turns out, it’s not actually helpful.
As noted by Dr. Jessica Koehler, “Unrealistic optimism—the belief that good things will happen to you regardless of the evidence—can lead to poor decision-making and risky behavior.”
Realistic optimism is different. It means acknowledging that things are hard, that outcomes aren’t guaranteed—and choosing to believe you can still navigate it. That you might succeed, but you’ll be okay even if you don’t.
Resilient people don’t deny their circumstances. They just don’t let those circumstances define everything. They ask, “What’s possible here?” and take action from that place—not from fantasy, but from grounded hope.
That mindset makes all the difference when you’re on the verge of giving up. It lets you move forward with your eyes open and your heart steady.
2. They stay closely connected to other people
This is a big one. And honestly, one I’ve learned to take more seriously as I’ve gotten older.
When you’re feeling like giving up, the instinct is often to retreat—to isolate, pull back, disappear for a while. But that’s usually the exact opposite of what helps.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has tracked people for more than 80 years, found that strong relationships are the single biggest predictor of long-term health and happiness. Not money. Not success. Relationships.
As Dr. Robert Waldinger, the study’s current director, put it: “Personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters, while isolation is a mood buster.”
That line says so much. Because when things fall apart, you don’t always need advice or solutions—you just need someone to sit with you in the mess.
Resilient people don’t try to tough it out alone. They reach out. They let themselves be supported. They know that even one honest conversation can shift the weight they’re carrying.
Connection doesn’t make the struggle disappear—but it makes it feel less impossible.
3. They use mindfulness or meditation to regulate stress
It’s easy to chalk mindfulness or meditation up to new age fluff—just another trend in a long line of wellness buzzwords. I used to feel that way, too.
But the more I’ve practiced it, and the more I’ve read, the clearer it’s become: these tools actually work.
Mindfulness doesn’t mean sitting cross-legged on a cushion for an hour. It can be as simple as noticing your breath for 60 seconds or pausing before reacting when something triggers you. It’s about awareness—being present without spiraling.
And the benefits are real. As noted by the folks at Verywell Mind, “Research has shown that those who practice meditation regularly begin to experience changes in their response to stress that allow them to recover from stressful situations more easily and experience less stress from the challenges they face in their everyday lives.”
The American Psychological Association backs this up, too, noting that mindfulness practices can reduce emotional reactivity and lower stress levels.
Resilient people aren’t stress-free. They just learn how to move through stress without getting completely overtaken by it. Mindfulness helps them do that.
It doesn’t have to be perfect or daily or profound. It just has to be practiced—bit by bit, moment by moment.
4. They embrace a growth mindset
One of the biggest shifts I’ve made in how I handle setbacks came from learning about the growth mindset.
Psychologist Carol Dweck, who coined the term, describes it like this: people with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be developed through effort, learning, and persistence. In contrast, a fixed mindset assumes your traits are set—you’re either good at something or you’re not, and that’s that.
Resilient people lean into the growth side. When they hit a wall, they don’t think, “I’m failing.” They think, “I’m learning.”
That shift doesn’t erase frustration, but it opens the door to progress. It helps you see failure as part of the process instead of a dead end.
This mindset has helped me reframe so many moments where I wanted to quit. Instead of obsessing over whether I was good enough, I started asking how I could get better.
And that’s the power of it: a growth mindset pulls you forward when everything else is telling you to stop.
5. They know when to rest, not quit
Last but not least, resilient people aren’t powered by endless energy or superhuman willpower. They get tired. They hit walls. But instead of quitting altogether, they pause. They rest.
Rest doesn’t mean failure. It means you’re listening to your limits. It means you’re giving yourself space to come back stronger instead of forcing yourself to power through on fumes.
The people who keep going aren’t the ones who never stop. They’re the ones who know when to step back, regroup, and begin again.
Final thoughts
Resilience isn’t about never struggling. It’s about what you do when the struggle shows up.
The people who stay steady in hard times don’t have some secret strength the rest of us lack—they’ve just built habits that help them bend without breaking.
Start where you are. Pick one habit. Practice it, especially on the days you don’t feel like it.
Bit by bit, you’ll become someone who keeps showing up—even when it’s hard. And that’s what resilience really looks like.
